AN: Sorry for the long break. I was grounded...again...

Credits to Star42430

I don't own anything you recognize.


"Raquelle! Where are you?"

"IN HERE, YOU IMBECILE!" I yelled.

Elizabitch came in my room.

"Take one step closer and I'll kill you."

I pointed Norry's sword at the Lizard's neck.

"What did I do?"

"Shut up. What do you want?"

"I just wanted something to eat."

"Go starve yourself."

Elizabitch groaned.

"But I'm hungeryyyyyyy."

"I don't care." I went over to my laptop and pushed the lid open.

"I'm the Pirate Queen. I demand food."

"Go suck Norry."

"Ooooh, what's this?" She went over to my bookshelf and pulled out my Chester the Squirrel diary.

"That's private. And great. You touched it. I gotta burn it now."

I picked up the book with my thumb and forefinger and prodded it in her back.

"Fine. If you stay out of my way, I'll feed you."

"Oh, goody!"

Elizabitch turned on her heel and skipped out of the room singing,

"I am a teapot short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout!"

"SHUT UP ELIZABITCH!!!"

"Excuse me?"

She turned around.

"Move. Now."

"What?"

"Look, Lizard, I don't care how much Norry worships you. I'll say it straight to your face. I HATE YOU! Now MOVE!"

Lizard crossed her wimpy arms.

"You're so mean!"

"I don't care. Move or I'll throw this book at your head, and when it knocks you out, I'll put you in a box and ship you off to Madagascar."

Lizard looked horrified.

"Okay!"

I threw the book at her head anyways, but I missed.

When we got to the kitchen, Norry was looking at a Playboy magazine.

"NORRINGTON!"

Norry turned bright red and threw the magazine out the window.

I turned and stalked to the window. My eyes widened.

"EVERYBODY! DUCK!"

CRASH!!!!!

A blue Ferrari with black paint splattered on it crashed through the window.

"WHAT THE HELL!???"

While I was cursing at the stupid car, Star42430 emerged. She had spiky blue hair. She looked at me, then at Elizabitch, and back at me. Then guess what? She laughed.

"STAR! YOU KILLED MY FREAKING KITCHEN!!!"

I tried to lunge at Star, but Norrington held me back.

"LEMME GET A GO AT HER!"

"No! You mustn't fight!"

"SHUT UP ELIZABITCH!"

Star looked at me. After studying my face after all the evilness of Elizabitch and Norry, she said:

"Erm, sorry 'bout that."

My eyebrows disappeared under my bangs.

"Yeah…I just came to make sure you have all the chips and soda and random crap."

"For what?"

"For the party. I invited like the whole school, so I wanted to make sure you had everything."

"WHAT THE HELL!?" I screamed and lunged at Star, but Norry caught my leg and we crashed to the floor. Again.

"GETOFFMEYOUEUNUCH!!!"

Just then the blue Ferrari door opened and out stumbled a very confused Captain Jack Sparrow.

"Oy, wot's going on here?"

My eyes widened. Norry glanced at me. Star smirked. And Elizabitch goes:

"Oh Jack! What happened? I'm stuck in this horrid place with James and this Raquelle character, and it's simply horrible!"

She ran and hugged him.

I slid out of the room, ran down to the basement, and grabbed my dad's golf club. The big heavy one. Grinning I rushed back upstairs.

"Elizabeth! Where are you? I've found some pancakes I can give you!"

"Really? That's simply amazing!"

Lizard ran down to the basement, where I was waiting…..MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I raised the club high, and brung it down on her head, laughing evilly all the way...

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Grabbing her leg, I dragged her into the basement and shut her in the shower.

I ran upstairs.

"Anyways, Star, no party."

Jack looked at me and smirked.

"Party? Wot's a party?"

I smiled at him.

"It's sort of a ball, but for teenagers…with lots of rum."

"Rum?"

I nodded. "A lot of rum. "

"I like the sound of this."

I turned to Star.

"Listen, you clean up this mess, and I'll take your car and take Jack and Norry to Wal Mart."

"NO! It's my car! And why is it always Wal Mart?"

"Because you made this mess, and you WILL clean up."

" Will not!"

"Will too!"

"No!"

"Yeah!"

"I didn't think it will come to this."

Star took out….DUN DUN DUN….a PUDDING CUP!

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed and hid behind Jack.

"You're not really hiding, luv."

I peeked out from behind him.

"You hear that, Star? He called me "luv"."

Star rolled her eyes and advanced toward us.

"HELLOOOOO?? ANYONE HERE?"

Some kid stood in the hole where the wall used to be.

"BRANDON!" Star rushed over and gave him a hug.

"Hi, Star. What's up?"

I came out from behind Jack.

"WHAT THE HELL? OUT! THE BOTH OF YOU!"

I kicked Brandon, and was advancing toward Star when Jack and Norry grabbed me.

"LEMME GO!" I stamped on Norry's foot, and tried twisting away from Jack, but he hung on.

"SPARROW! YOU LET GO OF ME THIS INSTANT!"

Jack let go and I crashed into the fridge.

"Dammit…Star…Brandon…Get out NOW!"

I stood up and stumbled into a chair.

"Jack, come here please."

"How do you know my name?"

"'Cuz she's in love with you!" Said Star.

I turned bright red.

"Shut up Star! I have a boyfriend!!!"

Jack slid over to me. He gave me his brilliant smile. I like totally melted inside.

"Pity date!" Star smiled.

"SO?"

Star raised her eyebrow the way I can't.

I jumped up and stalked away to the phone.

"Wot's that?" Jack appeared behind me.

"Phone." I grumbled, dialing LTS Builders.

"Hello, LTS Builders, how may I help you?" Said I cool female voice.

"Um, hello, a car just drove into my kitchen wall."

"Oh! What is your address?"

I gave her my address, said thank you, and she said they'd be here in an hour.

"Star, stay here until the builders come, explain what happened."

"God, I hate this. Oh well, better well got something to eat."

Star came over to the fridge and opened it. While she was digging in there, Norry came over, looked over her shoulder and said:

"Marvelous, the cold air is coming from INSIDE the box. Fascinating."

I rolled my eyes for like the thousandth time that time.

"Com'on Norry, we're going to go to Wal Mart."

"Wot about me?" Jack slid up behind me.

"Fine…" I said, rolling my eyes AGAIN.

While Star was busy making a pickle and lettuce sandwich, I came over to her and grabbed her keys out of her coat pocket.

Jack made the face he did in CotBP when Cotton showed him the remainder of his tongue.

"OY!"

"AUGHHHHH!! RUN GUYS!"

Jack, being the smart pirate that he is, jumped into the car, but Norrington just stood there.

"Oy! Norrington! In here!" Jack called, beckoning from inside the car.

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT??

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT??

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT???

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT????

"AUGHHHHHHH!"

Jack tumbled from the car.

"HAHAHA!" Star stood in the living room with the boom box sound system thingy's remote control in her hand.

OWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Oh my god!" I screamed, clapping my hands to my cheeks. "I love that song!"

So…for the rest of the song Jack, Star and I danced, and Norry curled up in the corner crying.

"Oy, Rae, where's Lizard?"

"Heh…I dunno."

Jack raised an eyebrow.

"You can't do that!" I said putting my hands on my hips.

"He can too!" Star put in.

"Yeah, well, not in the movie!" I retorted.

"Yeah!"

"No!"

"Yeah!"

"You're just mad cause Tybot is not your monkey!" I crossed my arms.

"He is too my monkey!"

"No! He's not!"

"Yeah!"

"Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

"EW! THE LIZARD LIVES!"

Elizabitch came up the stairs.


Yeah...I know...kind of pathetic but oh well...too much going on in my life to write

I'll try to make the next chappie better.