VFC: OMG! I feel like I just got a big shot of ego boost! Thank you reviewers! Hooray for 90 reviews!! n.n Although…I'm starting to feel all...arrogant like Vegeta…Well…not really…O-o OH! (Ahem)
Question 2: (I have a CRAP LOAD of these!)
"If you throw a cat out the window does it become kitty litter?"
Disclaimer: …I own nothing…except those with names you do not recognize! …I needed more Saiyans…I dunno why though… O-o Now excuse me while I find a shotgun for this blasted OOC-ness!!
"Talking" 'Thinking/Flashbacks/Dreams…etc.' Saiya-go (A/N: Author's Notes)
One Girl, One Wish
Chapter Seventeen: Haunting Memories
"I will overcome
Your violence, their silence
It can't be undone
I will overcome
Knowing that I'm not the only one
I will overcome
It's the only way to carry on"
– Within Temptation: Overcome –
Vegeta stared at the woman for what seemed like hours. 'It is undeniable…Her scent has changed…' He slowly slid out from under his woman and sat himself up, careful not to wake her. Could the reason for the change in her scent and ki…be what he thought it was…? Vegeta would like to think that what he thought was untrue… Even though he was already 27, in Saiyan standards he is still too young to be a…a–
'No…it's not possible,' He shook his head, trying to clear the thought. 'It's not true,' He continued to repeat these words in his mind, willing for them to be true.
Vegeta released a deep sigh before laying himself back down. He turned to lie on his side so he could watch over his aqua haired princess. He carefully placed a hand against her shoulder, feeling the ki coursing through her, and noticing that it too had altered slightly. He cringed slightly upon discovering this. He knew that asking someone else if they noticed the change would not help at all… Raditz, Nappa, Bardock, his father… they would all say her ki and scent seemed normal… Only he would be able to notice the changes because it was he that had caused them… It was his fault…
Of course, he didn't want to believe what he knew was true. He continued to tell himself that it could not be true… until he eventually fell asleep, returning him to the nightmares…
'It's not true… I can't…be a…father…'
"Dear Queen, that son of yours is quite a handful…"
"…Vegeta…? He's here?"
"Why yes he is… He's quite a rebellious child; doesn't listen to a word I say…We'll have to do something about that won't we…"
"Why do you have Vegeta?! You have me… I came in his stead… Is that not enough?!"
The young prince held his breath as he listened intently to the conversation between his mother and Frieza. He stood soundlessly in the shadows, just outside the door. He had lowered his ki, hoping that Frieza's scouter would not detect him. Vegeta wanted to spring in and aid his mother, but he knew if he even tried, Frieza would harm his mother… So, he just waited, tightly clenching his fists and grinding his teeth.
"How could I resist adding your beloved son to my army? Only sixteen and already the strongest among your people… Quite remarkable if I do say so myself. I believe that with the proper…leverage…he could become one of my best soldiers…"
"What are you planning to do to him…?"
"My queen…that is nothing for you to concern yourself with…"
"What are you going to do to my son?!"
Vegeta had never heard such force and anger in his mother's usually calm voice. Not even when his parents fought did he hear this change in her gentle voice. 'Mother…' Something was going to happen to him, but he did not know what. Although, Vegeta knew that no matter what the lizard did to him, he would never give in and obey his orders…
"Scream all you want, my queen, I will not give you the answer…but I will allow you to be there when it happens…"
Silence. Vegeta's mother did not come back with a response. 'Is Frieza hurting her?!' Vegeta knew that his mother had learned to stay silent whenever Frieza had his way with her. Her screams of agony brought the lizard pleasure, which brought more pain to her. Vegeta began to peak around the corner, but something firmly gripped his tail. He immediately froze before slowly turning his head to see a pale blue hand squeezing his tail. He raised his gaze to see a pair of yellow eyes staring down at him. 'Zarbon…' The tall alien smiled lazily at the prince before roughly gripping onto his dark hair. Zarbon released Vegeta's tail before restraining his arms, holding them behind his back.
"Lord Frieza, I found a stray monkey…" Zarbon said as he forced Vegeta into the room. Vegeta struggled against the blue alien, but he instantly froze once his gaze met his mother's sad, purplish eyes. He lowered his head, fixing his eyes on the floor tiles, feeling as though his mother's gaze was burning a hole right through his very soul.
"Well, well, well…" Frieza hovered over to examine the prince. Vegeta did not bother to look up at the dire lizard. "Shall we begin your 'training' now, young prince?" Vegeta did not respond. "I'll take that as a 'yes'" Frieza chuckled. Vegeta felt the air being forced out of his lungs as the lizard's fist connected with his stomach.
Vegeta heard his mother's screams as darkness clouded his vision.
"Take him to the chamber…" These were the last words he heard…
Vegeta tried to open his eyes. He found that he could only open one as the other had been swollen shut. He placed his palms against the floor, which was wet and sticky—to raise himself up. Darkness… Everything was dark, but with his Saiyan eyesight, he was able to see that he was in a small room.
Shakily, he stood. He heard chains banging against the floor and wall as he moved. He leaned against the wall, feeling a wave of dizziness wash over him. Vegeta had no idea what Frieza had done to him while he was unconscious. All he knew, was whatever the lizard had done left him feeling sore, tired, dizzy, agonized, and…disgusted…
Vegeta raised his gaze, seeing someone standing in the doorway. "…Broly…?" he called out hoarsely. The larger Saiyan had not answered, he had not even moved. It was almost as if he had not even heard the prince's voice. Vegeta sighed before examining the chains that bound him. 'There is something strange about these…'
"Ah… such a good little monkey. He did not go against my orders even though one of his own kind could die by my hand…" Vegeta heard the heartless words of the lizard as the florescent lights immediately illuminated the room. Vegeta noticed the shock and vacancy upon the older Saiyan's face before Frieza spoke once more. "I like seeing obedience in a monkey… You may wait outside while I teach this monkey his place…" Vegeta knit his eyebrows together as he glared at the lizard through his good eye. Vegeta could see the hesitation as Broly nodded and left the room. Vegeta instinctively lashed his tail in anger causing him to wince from the pain in the furry appendage.
Vegeta's mother entered the room just as Broly exited. Vegeta hung his head, not wanting his mother to be in the room to see him in such a sorry state…or to see whatever Frieza was about to do to him.
"Vegeta…My son…" she whispered softly; he noticed the sadness in her voice. "Lord Frieza, please–"
"You shouldn't have to call him 'Lord'…" Vegeta stated, cutting her off. He found that it hurt to talk, but he ignored the pain. "He is not a Lord… He's nothing but a monster…a tyrant…"
"I want you to know…Frieza…that I…will never obey you…and there is nothing you can do…to change my mind…"
"Nothing? Are you sure, prince?" Frieza chuckled quietly. "Not even if I put this beautiful mother of yours through intense agony?" Frieza asked, still chuckling. Vegeta froze, but tried to feign that the question had not affected him. Frieza smiled and hovered behind the queen. The lizard curled his tail tightly round her neck and gripped her tail, digging his fingernails into the delicate appendage. Vegeta watched as his mother bit her lip to keep herself from releasing a scream. He could see the tears building up in her purplish eyes, but the look she was giving him told him not to give in to the lizard no matter what happened to her. Vegeta held his breath as he watched the lizard raise his other hand to grip his mother's tail. "What would happen if I broke some of these bones in her tail…?" Frieza shot the prince a menacing smile. Vegeta's mother slowly shook her head.
"Vegeta, it does not matter what happens to me… Do not give in…" she said softly.
"How sweet…" Frieza scoffed before snapping her tail in one swift motion. Her screams immediately filled the room. Vegeta watched in horror as the lizard began tearing at his mother's already tattered clothes…
Vegeta's eyes shot open upon hearing the voice. Instinctively, his hand shot up, grasping a fragile throat. He felt a warm hand rest on his cheek, causing him to calm slightly.
"Vegeta…It's ok; it's me…"
He quickly withdrew his hand as his mind recognized the voice. He gazed up at the concerned blue eyes staring down at him as he tried to calm his racing heart. "…Bulma…" he said quietly. She nodded before lowering her body to lie on top of him, resting her head against his chest.
"Tell me…" she whispered.
"I would rather not…"
Vegeta did not understand why these nightmares/flashbacks had returned to him on this particular night… and he could not, and would not tell Bulma what that flashback had been about. He was grateful that she had woken him…before he had to watch Frieza have his way with his mother…again… or having to see his mother lying bloody and barely conscious as the tyrant turned to give Vegeta his "turn"… Vegeta mentally shuddered, wishing there was some way to erase those horrendous memories from his mind…forever…
About two years after the incident had occurred, Vegeta confronted Bardock to ask him if there was a way to forget. The only answer he had received from the older Saiyan was: "I don't know of a way to completely forget, but I do know that telling someone you trust about whatever has happened to you will help…" This, of course, had not helped him in any way. He trusted only Raditz and Nappa then, and he would be damned if he told them that dark secret… So the only thing Vegeta could think of was to keep it locked away… hopefully in the very back of his mind… …But it had not helped… The memory was still there haunting him, making him feel disgusted…with himself…
Bulma. He could tell her, couldn't he? No… of course not. If he told her, she would look at him differently, pity him… Vegeta did not want her pity; he didn't want anyone's pity…
"Vegeta, please…" Bulma sighed before raising her head to look into his dark eyes. She was slightly shocked at what she saw. Nothing. There was nothing in his eyes. For the first time in years, she could not read his eyes…
"I am not going to tell you," he stated firmly, and quite darkly.
"Why?" she asked simply. Vegeta narrowed his eyes.
"I don't want you to know; you don't need to know," he quickly turned his gaze away from hers. "Go back to sleep…" he stated tersely. Bulma sighed then rested her head against his chest again.
"Please…tell me sometime… It doesn't have to be now…but sometime," she paused to take in a ragged breath. "I was watching you… That nightmare, it made you look so sad, so angry…so…hurt… and I want to know why so I can help you. I can't help you if you don't tell me…" Vegeta could hear the sorrow in her words…
"I don't need your help; there is nothing wrong with me. It was just a memory, nothing else," he said, placing a hand against her upper back. He tensed slightly, feeling the change in her ki again; he knew he would definitely have to tell her about that…but how?
"Just… think about telling me about it sometime…ok?" Bulma smiled against his bronze skin, trying to ignore wondering why he had tensed when he touched her. "You can think of it as payment for biting me." Vegeta rolled his eyes.
"Fine… I will think about telling you…" he smirked. "And if you really want 'revenge' for what I did then why don't you just bite me back?"
"Because I don't have a thirst for blood unlike you… Why did you do that anyway? It hurt like hell, ya know…"
Vegeta thought for a moment, trying to think of the right words. "In a way, I marked you as mine…" Bulma rolled her eyes.
"Why, how very possessive of you," Vegeta chuckled slightly at this.
"It isn't much different than Earth's—What the hell are they called?—'wedding rings'…" he mumbled quietly.
"Well… then I guess…it was…sweet of you…?" Bulma paused, wondering how Vegeta the Saiyan knew about Earth customs. "Wait…how do you know about wedding rings?"
"I learned about them from those inane parents of yours when you were first taken by Frieza… Now go to sleep."
"Go. To. Sleep."
"Yes your majesty… I will do as you command almighty king of the universe…" Bulma replied sarcastically. She was slightly confused when Vegeta tensed yet again. "What?"
King…that word bothered him… If what Vegeta thought was true; if he really is about to become a father, then he has no choice… He would have to become king… Does he want that? Isn't he still too young? His father was a few years younger than he is now when he became king… but… could Vegeta really be king…?
"What's wrong?" Bulma queried softly, brushing her fingertips against his cheek. Vegeta closed his eyes.
"Why do you always assume something is wrong with me?" he asked, moving his hand to rest on the back of her head while his other hand traced a line up and down her spine.
"Because I worry about you."
"Why? You don't need to…"
"I worry because…I love you, Vegeta…"
I love you. Bulma would say these words to him constantly. Did she ever expect him to say it back? He couldn't. It's not that he didn't have those…feelings…for her, but he is a Saiyan and Saiyans never express these emotions in words…just in their actions… Every time she spoke those three words, he would wonder if she was ever disappointed in the fact that he could not say them back… She never appeared disappointed, but that didn't mean anything; she had become almost as skilled as him when it came to masking her emotions.
'Perhaps one day I will be able to say it back…'
Vegeta smirked when he realized that she had fallen asleep before sighing as the memory from before continued in his mind…
"Open your eyes, monkey. I want to see your pain…"
Frieza's voice was still as clear as the day Vegeta had first heard these words… Maybe he shouldn't have told Bulma to go back to sleep… Of course, he wouldn't tell her that he had been…violated when he was sixteen…but maybe she could have helped him forget even if only for a few moments…
"Vegeta! Frieza, you heartless bastard! Leave him be; you're hurting him!"
"My dear queen… you are in no position to be making commands…and besides, this spoiled brat of a prince needs to learn his place."
"Saiyans… So troublesome…"
"Mother! Damn it, what have you done to her?!"
"Do not fear prince… she is alive… now hold still…"
His mother… Vegeta could see her clearly just as she had been then. She was already battered and broken, but still she tried to deal damage to the lizard in attempts to get him off her only son… With one blow, she was sprawled across the floor again, a new bruise forming on her pale cheek. Vegeta remembered the cruel smirk plastered on the bastard's face as he turned his attention back to the young prince. He remembered the pain of the lizard's claws digging into his skin, his teeth shredding his flesh, and when his–
Carefully, Vegeta shifted Bulma off him. He rose from the bed and threw on some clothes. He shot a glance back at his slumbering princess before exiting the room.
Vegeta leaned back against the door after closing it behind him. He ran a hand through his hair as he glanced down the hall. He needed to…to kill something…beat something…anything to tear his mind from the painful memories.
"P-Prince Vegeta…?" He started at the sound of the small, gentle voice. He turned his head slightly to see a young girl. He raised an eyebrow, wondering why he had not heard nor sensed her coming.
"What?" he replied quite harshly. The girl had short brown hair that barely came passed her chin. Her eyes were a shade of blue so dark that they appeared to be black. It seemed that she was hesitating. Did he intimidate her? Vegeta smirked at this; too long has it been since someone feared him. However…there was a sense of familiarity about this girl…
"I…I'm sorry to bother you so late at night…but…no one knows where the king is…" as the girl spoke, she dared not look him in the eyes. Her tail twitched nervously as she continued, "I was wondering…if you knew where he is…" Vegeta crossed his arms, turning his head away from the girl.
"I don't know nor do I care where the old man is…" he spat. Honestly, he really didn't care where his father was. Vegeta didn't even care if the old man was dead… He just didn't care… His father would pull "disappearing acts" throughout his childhood sometimes disappearing for weeks…but he would eventually return.
"Vegeta, you do know that if no one can find the king, you will have to take his place," an older, male voice cut in. There was only one besides Bulma and Kakarrot who did not address him as Prince Vegeta so he immediately recognized the voice.
"Yes, I know that very well Bardock…"
"You may go Carra; I will speak to the prince," Bardock said to the young girl. Carra bowed timidly before virtually scampering down the hallway. Vegeta narrowed his eyes.
'Carra… She is the girl my father wanted me to mate…that is…before Bulma appeared…' Vegeta mentally smirked. From what Vegeta could remember, the girl used to be such a brat. He had always found her annoying. He also thought she was too young for him; she was nearly twelve years younger. What is it with his father and younger women?
"Vegeta… I know you've always been 'nocturnal', but ever since you mated that girl I never see you out at night," Bardock paused, smirking as he detected Bulma's faint scent on Vegeta. Vegeta rolled his eyes, knowing why Bardock was smirking before the older Saiyan continued, "So why are you out here tonight?"
"What, can't I stand out here without a reason for doing so?" Vegeta asked, slightly annoyed.
"Vegeta…you should tell her…" Bardock stated solemnly. Vegeta glared up at him.
"Tell her what?" he snapped. Vegeta knew exactly what Bardock wanted him to tell her… Bardock wanted him to tell Bulma that which he hadn't told Bardock or even Raditz or Nappa: what Frieza had done to him when he was sixteen…
"Vegeta…I can tell just by looking at you… The nightmares have returned, haven't they… You should tell that woman of yours what happened on that day eleven years ago."
"She doesn't need to know…"
Bardock smirked, shaking his head slightly. "She may not need to know, but I know that she will want to know," he paused, smirking at the intense death glare he was receiving. "I may not know much about women, but I do know they like knowing things about their mate…no matter how brutal or degrading something is they still want to know. Once you tell them your deep, dark secrets, it's almost like whatever you did never even happened…Almost…" Vegeta remained silent, still glaring at the older Saiyan but taking in his words as well. "Let me know if you see the king around,"
Vegeta watched as Bardock walked away. Were his words true? Should he tell Bulma what had happened when he was sixteen? Vegeta wasn't certain if she could handle something as gruesome and disgusting as what had happened to him… 'She's stronger than she looks… She can handle it…' However, could he really tell her?
Vegeta sighed as he felt a presence coming from the other side of the door he was still leaning against. He remained motionless, almost instinctively knowing that the presence was feeling his ki as well. He turned to face the door, sighing once more before opening it and entering. As the door closed behind him, he met the same concerned, tired blue eyes he had seen before leaving the room.
"Vegeta, are you sure you're ok?" Bulma asked with a soft voice. Vegeta had to fight to keep control over himself as he noticed how she looked at that particular moment. She was dressed in nothing but a tightly fitting silk robe that barely covered anything, her aqua hair was slightly disheveled, and the moon shining through the window gave her skin a slight glow.
"I'm fine," he replied, his words a bit rushed. Vegeta reluctantly tore his gaze away from his alluring princess to, hopefully, keep his control. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" Bulma shook her head causing her hair to bounce slightly.
"I woke up, you weren't there, and I couldn't go back to sleep…" Bulma left out the fact that she was still worried about him knowing that he didn't want to hear it. She stepped toward him almost cautiously while noticing the look in his eyes as he turned his gaze back to her; she did not feel up to doing that with him again tonight…so she tried not to lead him on. Carefully, she put her arms around his neck, resting her head against him.
Vegeta just stood, not moving, barely even breathing as he felt the changed ki coursing through Bulma's entire body. He still hadn't decided if he would tell her about what had happened to him…but he knew he had to tell her that she could be expecting. He is the father meaning only he can detect the change…so it's his duty to tell her, isn't it?
'Not now…' he told himself, raising a hand to place onto her head.
"What are we going to do about…this war?" Bulma whispered, closing her eyes, and trying to ignore the peculiarity in Vegeta… He seemed so hesitant tonight, and whenever she touched him, his entire body would tense. 'Is there something wrong with me?' Bulma asked herself, feeling tears build up. 'Does he find me disgusting now…? …Why?'
Vegeta immediately sensed her distress and began wondering what had caused it. 'Is she worried about the war?' He already knew that she worried for her people; she feared that they would die in this meaningless war… but something told him that it wasn't the war that was causing her grief at the moment.
"I don't understand why Frieza wants the humans in this war…but I can assure you they will be kept safe," he said quietly.
Bulma simply said "Ok…" before slowly pulling away from him. Vegeta stared at her bemusedly as she hung her head, causing her aqua hair to fall over her face, hiding the tears that had begun to fall.
"Woman, what–" Vegeta froze as Bulma raised her head, allowing him to see the wetness glistening on her cheeks. Her eyes were filled with a sadness he had not seen since the day she found her beloved Earth in shambles.
"Is…there something wrong with me?" she asked, barely above a whisper as she attempted to hide the shakiness of her voice. Vegeta was taken aback. Something wrong…with her? Why would she think something as asinine as that? Nothing; there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. In Vegeta's eyes, she was witty, spirited, determined, beautiful… She was almost perfect… He believed she had little to no flaws… Of course, he could never tell her this; his Saiyan pride just would not allow it…
"What would make you assume there was something wrong with you?" he queried, placing a hand under her chin.
"You've been acting…strange tonight…" she paused, taking in a ragged breath. "Every time I touch you, you tense or pull away…and… you seem hesitant when you touch me…" Vegeta tore his gaze away from her. Sure, everything she said was true, but it did not mean anything was wrong with her…
'There is something wrong with me…not her…'
He smirked, wiping away her tears with his free hand. "I guarantee that there is nothing wrong with you… Why I appear this way tonight has nothing to do with you…" he said before pulling her close, resting his forehead against hers. Bulma gazed up into his coal eyes, finding sincerity in them before throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his neck. She closed her eyes, taking in his warmth as she felt his strong arms encircle her waist.
'I should tell her soon…before she makes any more ridiculous assumptions…' he told himself as he, once again, felt her altered ki flowing through her body. Could he really be a father? Vegeta's father had never really been around when he was a child…so he had no idea how a father was supposed to act… He would just have to decide how he should act once the child was born…
"You should go to sleep," Vegeta stated as he quickly gathered her into his arms. Bulma laughed as he carried her to the bed and dropped her into the sheets. "Go to sleep."
"I will only sleep if you promise not to disappear again," Bulma stuck out her bottom lip, "You wouldn't want to leave a poor, defenseless girl like me alone in this dark room would you?" she asked, extending her arms, reaching for him. Vegeta rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.
"I don't plan on leaving again," he muttered quietly, "…and you're not 'defenseless'…" he added before crawling over her. Bulma smiled lazily as she gazed into the ebony eyes of her lover. She closed her eyes, anticipating a kiss. Vegeta smirked, realizing her intentions. "No." Her eyes shot open at the simple word. "Go to sleep," he said, reluctantly pushing away from her. Bulma sighed in disappointment as she moved to lie her head on Vegeta's chest.
Vegeta sighed knowing that once he was asleep the nightmares from before would continue… He would have to watch Frieza beat and rape his mother before turning to violate him…again…
Bulma bit back the urge to ask him what was wrong. She knew he would just reply with, "Nothing is wrong, so leave me alone." which she knew was a lie. Bulma knew deep down that there was something bothering him… Why couldn't he just tell her? Maybe she could help him somehow… Was it something he found too painful to speak of? If that was the case, he could tell her… He wouldn't have to suffer, she would share his pain…he just needed to tell her what was wrong…
Bulma closed her eyes and allowed a yawn to escape before snuggling closer to her warm Saiyan prince. Slowly, she reached up to place a hand against his cheek as Vegeta wrapped his tail securely round her waist.
…Neither of them had any idea they were being watched…
VFC: Yay fluff? Yay being watched by creepers? I was listening to sad, "emo" music…while writing this chappie…and then I switched to DragonForce. O.o; OMG! Veggie was raped when he was sixteen?! Ew…it's like……yaoi rape… I'm horrible…I know…T.T
One more thing… Do not fear peoples! I have indeed decided to keep this story up and put the rewritten story up as um…Version 2…n.n And…I don't really think I changed Vegeta that much…I just tried harder to keep him in character… O.o;
Please Review? And remember to ask questions! …If you have any… O-o I want to change Queeny's name!! I can't even remember what it was… Now excuse me for I must go to bed… -.- (-VFC falls off her chair-)