Author's Notes

Despite CLAMP all but underlining the fact that there are infinite alternate universe versions of all their characters out there (See: Tsubasa), it occurred to me a while back that there is a woeful lack of AU fic in this fandom. So, in my own attempt to fix this, I posted a request meme over on LiveJournal prompting people to send me ideas for xxxHOLiC AUs, with the plan that I'd write fic for any that grabbed me.

I think I had in mind that I'd turn out a couple of short, maybe drabble length fic-bits. Instead, I wound up with eight different worlds, none less than several hundred words long, and some with multiple scenes. I should really know better than to be surprised when that happens by now .

(No more requests now though please – I'm up to the stage of just getting what I've already written neatened up for posting here, and eight different worlds is surely enough.)

Pirates (Scene 1)

Aspects of this were kinda-sorta requested by a couple of people, though the truth is I cheated because I had the first two scenes written as a warm up long before I ever got around to asking for requests.

It said a lot about how much Doumeki had enjoyed his voyage to date that coming under attack from the famed Dread Pirate Yuuko, terror of the seven seas (etc, etc) was the undisputed highlight so far. He didn't regret surrendering, not when he knew what happened to everyone who didn't, but the first mate – the only human other than Captain Yuuko herself he'd yet seen among the pirates – had taken some kind of offense at his behaviour. Said first mate had been staring at Doumeki through the bars of his prison cell ever since throwing him down here. Maybe he thought his captive needed guarding. Or maybe he was looking for an excuse to revoke his hostage status and have him thrown overboard. Doumeki thought he made a rather odd sort of pirate.

And while he may have had no qualms about staring, he was less pleased by others staring back. "Just what do you think you're looking at?"

"That's not a parrot," said Doumeki, conversationally.

"It's a pipe fox," the pirate snapped back at him, as if this was something he had to explain a lot and was thoroughly sick of being asked. "Why does everyone think I'm supposed to have a parrot instead? Do parrots breath fire?"

That, Doumeki decided, had to be a rhetorical question. "Do you really need that eye patch, or is it just for show?"

"That. Is none," the pirate hissed. "Of your business."

"Aren't you supposed to say 'Arr' more?" Doumeki asked, strangely fascinated.

"Have you missed the part where we could have you walk the plank if you don't behave?" said the pirate angrily. "We could have you tortured to death! You can't even begin to imagine the kind of tortures the Captain can come up with!"

"But I surrendered," said Doumeki. "Even pirates are supposed to treat their captives humanely. And you're supposed to feed me as well."

"You're going to be on a bread and water diet if you're lucky!" snapped the pirate. "And you're going to be fighting rats even for that much privilege!"

Doumeki peered around the other corners of the hold. "Are all those barrels full of rum?"

"Don't talk to me about rum," said the pirate, with a long suffering look.