Chronicles of the Asschin.

Warnings: Obviously has swears. Has Spoilers up to chapter 152. Is a total crack fic.

Notes: I uploaded this because of extreme begging to put this back online. I reread it, tried to make it a little better, oh well. Whatever quiets down Zaika.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa.

Fei Wang Reed always wanted to cross dimensions. It was something that anybody who met him could easily tell. It was one of his weird obsessions…along with stalking travelers, of course.

"You have enough magical power to cross dimensions…" Xing Huo stated, standing by his side patiently as always.

Fei rubbed his perfect manly chin in thought, wondering about all the things he could do, the worlds he could conquer, the things he could slay, when Xing finished her sentence…

"…but only your arm will fit." She finished, plainly as ever.

"What about my sword?"

"Yes. If you hold on to it, it can cross dimensions too."

Fei had the urge to stand up and do a silly little victory dance. He could still slay things with his favorite giant sword!

"Why don't you use something smaller, Fei? Wouldn't a smaller, lighter sword be of more use? Even Mr. Black, from the clone's group chooses stealthy thin blades." Xing recommended.

"Chicks dig giant swords." Fei slung the sword over his shoulder and walked over to the area where he could summon a dimension portal.

"Oh, do they?" Xing walked over by Fei's side, offering assistance.

"Haven't you ever seen Cloud, from Final Fantasy?" Xing shook her head. "Sora, from Kingdom Hearts?" Another head shake. "Inuyasha?"

She stared at him curiously. "No." Xing helped him open a portal. "What are you planning on doing, anyway?" she asked, curiously.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He shoved his hand through the portal, along with his sword, and laughed when he heard a bloody-murder scream.

"You do realize you just slayed some kid's mother while she was praying, with the kid right outside the door, right?" Xing made sure nobody could see through the hole except Fei and herself, and then watched the other side. "And the kid saw you…" She was very interested in watching the boy's reaction, and scream.

"Do you think he can hear us?" Fei took his arm out of the portal.

Xing shrugged, and Fei took that as a 'yes'.

So, as it was closing, he screamed "LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER!" into the portal.

"..what?" Xing stared at Fei.

"I saw it in a movie once…"

"So you scream it at a kid whose mother you just killed?"


"I'm starting to think you don't have a plan…"

"I do! I do!" Fei put his hand to his chin, and gently puts down his sword. "Everything is going according to my plan."

"That's what you always say."

"That's because it's always true!"

"…REALLY. Even when our own agents get defeated, it's still going 'according to plan'?"

"…yes." He sips some of his wine.

"How much wine have you had tonight? You don't seem to be making much sense."


"I didn't want it. I don't imagine that you'd drink anything but strong wine, and that wouldn't do anything but bad things to my body."

"…you're going to get stabbed with that kind of attitude." Fei eyed his giant sword.

"Would that go according to plan, too?"

"Of course." Fai rubbed his chin, showing off his fabulous masculine chin.

Xing, with barely any emotion at all, sighed. It was going to be a long day.