Introducing Shinji! The New News Reporter!
I have never written any other crack besides Hyoutei and Rikkai, so I decided to write a crack of Shinji! Since he acts a bit like me and stuff.
"What!?" Kamio shouted.
"Kamio, it's rude to shout when someone has said something for the sixth time," Shinji mumbled. "You should listen more carefully and--"
"I heard you, but WHAT?! You actually decided to join the school news program?! We were just kidding when we were asking you!"
"Well, you should have been more careful about jokes. People can really take them as a real statement. You know what I mean? So if you were lying, you should tell the truth later." Shinji explained.
Kamio groaned. Why is Shinji even his friend? Besides the point that they share the same tennis team, he really doubts there's anything in common with this guy.
"Anyways, it's too late to change now, Kamio. As I said before, you should have told me sooner to not join so I wouldn't be in this mess. Now see what your little joke made me do? That's why you should be honest with yourself and everyone around you..." Shinji rambled on.
About half an hour later, a tired Kamio fell asleep.
"--so that's why cheese should be eaten fresh, Kamio." Shinji finished his explanation. From school to cheese, odd. "Kamio? Kamio... it's not nice to not listen. That's how I got into this mess. How could you be so laid back and carefree now? Don't you even care what would happen to me?..."
Kamio continued snoring. In his little dreams, he was imagining himself destroying the peach-monster and saving the princess from the kingdom of Fudomine. Sweet dreams!
"--so that's why you should always listen, Kamio." Shinji finished explaining yet again.
"Ugh... take this you peach monster..." Kamio mumbled in his sleep.
Shinji just gave Kamio weird looks. "Peach monster? Where does Kamio come up with these things..." He mumbled. He checked the time. "I should get going..."
"Ok, Ibu-kun, all you need to do is to find us some news!" The producer said as happy as can be. She jumped for joy. The scene was a bit... gross. TOO HAPPY ISN'T GOOD PEOPLE!
She handed him a pen and note pad. "Now here you go! Do whatever you want to write about! Anything!"
Shinji took a while to think. "...Anything... hmm... I have an idea..."
"Good! Now go do whatever you have to do to get me that info!" She pushed him out the door.
Shinji thought even more. "Where would Kamio be now..." He mumbled.
Then it hit him. Like the time Kamio serve was bad and smashed him in the head!
"To the tennis courts." He announced.
The boy made his way to the tennis courts.
"Ah, there he is..." Shinji said. "Time to gather some data..." (So Inui-like...)
"Kamio-kun! Here's a water bottle!" Ann said as she handed him the bottle.
Kamio blushed. "Ah... thanks."
Ann smiled. "Well, good luck today in your practices!"
Shinji noted the conversation down. "...practices... done. Hmm... now I just need to think of an idea..."
Then it hit him again! Like the time that Hadoukyuu (sp?) hit his butt which made him fall on Kamio. Boy, did that hurt.
He grinned evilly. Since he's SHINJI his grins are SUPPOSED to look evil. He picked up his things and left for home.
The Next Day...
"WHAT DID YOU WRITE ABOUT ME?!?!" Kamio shouted in Shinji's face.
Shinji pushed Kamio further away from him. "Please don't shout in people's faces, it's really rude and--"
"IBU SHINJI, TELL ME WHAT YOU WROTE IN THE NEWS!!!" Kamio cracked his knuckles.
"Relax. Here, take a copy." Kamio took the paper. "That'll be 25 cents."
Kamio glared at Shinji and handed him the money. When he saw the front page, his eyes went big and he gasped. "SHINJI..."
Shinji shrugged. "What did I do? I only wrote what I saw..."
"THIS! THIS IS CRUD!" Kamio threw the paper in Shinji's face.
Written by Ibu Shinji, second year.
What we have here today is a certain speedy red headed tennis player of Fudomine and a first year hair clip girl. Yes, as I, Ibu Shinji, the reporter, have found out, the red head is certainty in love with Ms. A.
Friend, I.S., says: "The thing is undeniable. Kamio-- er... I mean, a certain red head DOES like Ann--- uh, a girl." (The rest of this paragraph has been edited out by the editor because it was too long.)
"...HOW DARE YOU PUT MY NAME ON IT!" Kamio yelled.
"I didn't put your name. It says, 'certain red head.' So it wouldn't matter. Besides, no one will know who you are."
"This sentence says 'Kamio'!! Do you just enjoy making me kill you?!"
"You wouldn't kill me. You can't. You'll go to jail..." Shinji muttered on.
Kamio threw the paper at Shinji's head. "I'll count to three, and I'll chase after you when I reach one."
"..." Shinji ran for it.
"3, 2, 1, I'M RUNNING!" Shinji shouted. "DIE, IBU SHINJI! DIE! DIE! DIE!!!"
Tachibana sighed. "Shinji will kill himself before he reaches the third year if he continues to join that reporter thing..."
He wonders how Tezuka, Atobe, and Yukimura can take their teams insanity... (He doesn't know he's lucky that his teams is pretty normal...)
My first Fudomine crack. It was kinda dumb, lol.