Hey everyone! I'm back. Sorry it has taken so long for me to provide another story! But here is a new one! And...it is not a one shot! It is a multi-chapter fic! Surprise! lol! Anyways, this story is really important to me because certain events are straight from my own life. I hope it doesn't seem too fake because the main motives for a lot of things in this story are based on what has happened in my life. So I hope you enjoy. I am making sure I am a few chapters ahead so I don't leave you waiting. I am not too sure how long it is going to be...but we will see! Also, even though this is based on real events, if anyone has any suggestions feel free to make them!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Life With Derek or any of the characters...if I did, we would all have our own Michael Seater :)
All she does is hide behind a smile. No one knows. No one can tell that the big, beaming, beautiful smile is a lie. She's not ok. She's not alright. She just hides, afraid of the world. Every smile she gives conceals the pain she feels on the inside. The laughter that rings out from her is just a cover for her screams. She knows she is broken…she knows she should ask for help. All she needs to do is ask, to let someone in; but she can't. There is a huge difference between knowing you are broken and admitting to someone else that you need help. When you've been hurt before the last thing you want to do is let someone else in; to give someone the power to hurt you. She would rather be numb then feel the hurt. They say that no man is an island…well, this woman is.
Casey McDonald sat her computer finishing up an entry on her blog that no one knew about. She has two different blog accounts, XOPrncssCaseyXO was the one that all of her friends knew about. She kept in touch with her old friends from Toronto on it; Emily and Lizzie also visited it. However, she had another account that no one knew about, ALostEcho. Casey used the second account to write out her feelings…all of them, no matter how strange or depressing. Recently, she was using the unknown account more and more frequently.
No one knew how hard it was on Casey, not really. Her mom and Lizzie were happy and busy with the new family. Emily, her new best friend, was wonderful but she didn't know everything that Casey had been through. Her friends from Toronto after a while lost touch with her, not that she could blame them; she was just as busy herself. Her stepfamily was nice, they made her mom and sister happy and that is really all Casey cared about. She hasn't really bonded with any of them; she still feels a little like she is a guest; a guest who goes out of her way to make everyone happy, but a guest nonetheless. She wondered if she would ever begin to feel a part of the family…
She doubted it. Casey didn't even feel like she was a part of her family before the McDonald's joined the Venturi clan. The last time she felt truly happy and whole was before, what she refers to as, the incident. Casey often questioned whether her mother had told George or any of the other Venturi's what had happened. She hoped not. She didn't want anyone to know. It was no ones business. They didn't have to deal with everything. They didn't have to give up everything. They didn't loose their childhood at the age of ten. Were they forced to take care of their parents and sibling? No.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Casey let out an exasperated scream into the pillow she grabbed that was sitting on her bed. She threw the pillow across the room. She hated when she got like this. She could feel it coming but was powerless to stop it. She was a slave to this emotional upheaval that appeared randomly throughout her life. She could always feel it building, like the pressure behind a dam that is just about to break. She could tell you roughly when it would happen, yet never pinpoint it. The pressure and thoughts would keep building until suddenly she would breakdown. Casey was lucky enough to breakdown in the solitude of her bedroom; she was talented enough to do it when everyone else was asleep, the last thing she wanted was for someone to walk in and ask her what was wrong…or worse, try to help.
Casey knew that she was going to breakdown soon…in fact; she knew when she would exactly this time. You see, while Casey could never pinpoint exactly when she would go through this silent hell, there was one time a year where she could. The anniversary of what happened. February 7th. This day was Casey's personal hell. She avoided everyone and everything. It was the one day she would allow herself to be upset in public, after all, it wasn't like her mom or Lizzie would question it. They knew exactly why she was always silent and sad on this day, it was the same reason why they were. They all dreaded this day more than any other day.
Casey was dreading it even more than before. It was the first time she was going to have to go through it living with the Venturi's.