Ichigo has a goddamn hostel room!

My first bleach fanfic! Expected to be about 7 chapters+ long, so happy following. r&r D

Disclaimer: lalala bleach is NOT minezors. jeez. get it already.

Chapter 1# The Forceful Flight of the Ichigo (& Rukia)

Ichigo came back from a rather refreshing battle with a Hollow to be met with his depraved dad doing something, well, depraved. He had taken out all of the little clothes that Ichigo possessed (he was NOT vain) and packed them into a bag, and dumped it all unceremoniously into the living room (the floorboards were still scorched from that tribal dance Isshin had a few days ago to welcome Ichigo's new computer).

'...WHAT THE HELL?'

Isshin looked up from the mayhem he had formulated and beamed, resembling a rather overgrown be-stubbled baby.

'Hello my son! After consulting Masaki, I have come to the conclusion that you are ready to undergo the greatest test of manhood!'

'You will be sent out of the house for a period of time that is not to be specified to fend for yourself! You can go anywhere, you can seek help from friends and acquaintences, but no help from the family will be given! This is your time, Ichigo!'

Ichigo couldn't say anything. I wouldn't blame him. You shouldn't too.
He figured that his dunghead of a dad thought he had given him some sort of treat. Ichigo's eyebrow twitched.

'...what if I refuse?'

'Ah, if you refuse, you will be subjected forcefully to an old Kurosaki tradition! It involves, my son, the strapping down of the being and the tying of heated metal wires around the p-'

'OKAY, OKAY, I'M GOING!!'
With that, Ichigo hefted the bag and got the hell out of the house for the sake of the sanity and well being of his nether regions.

---

Rukia, having discovered that Ichigo's cupboard was completely devoid of clothing, had scooted down to the front door to find out what in the name of all that is cute was going on, and had almost smacked face first into Ichigo.

'My dad just...booted me out.'

'...What?'

'...Yeah.'

'...It technically means that I'm booted out too, right?'

'...Yep.'

'...Why do I have to be tied, of all people, to you?!'

'...Well. Misery loves company, eh.'

'...DIE, YOU!'

'I'd rather not, you'd be able to follow me there.'

After Rukia had retrieved all her belongings, Ichigo quickly decided that it would not be feasible to camp at that perverted shopkeeper's place, with oddballs such as Tessai and Urahara himself floating around. Ishida's place was just as bad, with his creepy father. And Chad...

Ichigo didn't know where Chad stayed. He asked Rukia.

She didn't know either.

They sat at the pavement, just out of sight from Ichigo's house. Ichigo started muttering darkly under his breath, and Rukia caught random foreboding words like 'kill', 'guillotine' and 'death'. She thought he looked rather endearing, all pissed-off and moody like that, but she caught herself just in time.

Bad Rukia.

'So, uh, any ideas, Mister Kurosaki?'

'I was thinking...you remember Keigo, right? He stays in the hostel, and he told me once that there were quite a few spare rooms.'

Rukia wrinkled her nose. Keigo was really easy to convince (-insert a Rukia sparkle here-), but something was just wrong about asking Keigo. She couldn't really put her finger on what, though.

Ichigo watched her. He thought she looked rather endearing, all broody and thoughtful like that, but he caught himself just in time.

Bad Ichigo.

Rukia glared. 'Stop looking at me like that. Keigo's nosey.'

Ichigo blinked and shook his head to clear any unthinkable thoughts.

'I'll just ask him for a room for myself, and you can sneak in through the window and sleep in the closet again.'

Rukia glowered at him, realizing that THIS was exactly what she had wanted to put her finger on.

THE CLOSET.

'Ichigo, I'm sick of sleeping in the closet.'

'Well, start being sick of being sick of sleeping in the closet.'

'Why don't YOU try sleeping in the closet for a change?!'

'Why don't YOU try being SO DAMN TALL for a change!!!'

Rukia sulked. She had lost, and she didn't like losing. Then, she came up with a bright idea.

'Why don't we ask Urahara whether we can swap bodies or something. You can use my gigai, and I can use your body! I mean, your body's like a gigai in the first place.'

She looked up to meet Ichigo's disbelieving gaze.

Ichigo shook his head painfully. Was that a...blush she detected?

Rukia grinned back at him, and nodded firmly.

Ichigo ground his teeth. 'Okay, just watch me for a second.'

Rukia watched him.

He looked her up and down purposefully for 5 long seconds, and then looked down at his own body for 5 long seconds.

Then, he stared at her incredulously, and started making huge flamboyant circular gestures with his arms while a really bright red blush inched its way slowly up his face.

Rukia got it.

'OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Er. Forget it.'

'You said it.'

They stared blankly at each other, two red tomato-ish faces.

Then, they picked up the other's bag of things, muttered 'shit' simultaneously and swapped bags.

There was this really awkward moment of silence.

And then...

Rukia broke the tension by kicking him and yelling, 'RACE YOU TO SCHOOL!!', and Ichigo helped snap tension's resilient arms and legs by racing her.

Of course, he let Rukia win.

to be continuedz.

HEH. That was retarded. My first shot at a 7 chapter fic. I'm not that good with writing commitment, see. So, uh, next chapter should be up soon. I get bored of lessons easily.
Kon's currently on holiday with Mayuri. Hehehee.

D