Summary and explanation: This is set during Sweet Valley High #38,

This is set during Sweet Valley High #38,. "Leaving Home." Elizabeth, applying for a scholarship to a Swiss boarding school, is upset first by the lack of support she is given by those close to her, and then by the amount of time her boyfriend Jeffrey seems to be spending with her best friend Enid…

The Wakefield Twins et. al. were created by Francine Pascal, not me. These are just… some… thoughts that occurred to me. And, hey, SVH had its "homosexuality" issue-of-the-month once…

This story contains lesbian themes. This is your last chance to press "back," homophobes…

Feedback welcome at

Pool Games

I'm not quite sure why I even agreed when Enid said she wanted to come over for a swim. I should have told her not to bother. Wouldn't it make kind of a hole in the time she needs for hitting on my boyfriend? Bu then, Enid always was a whiz at organization. Leader of every school committee…

No, that's me, isn't it? Deputy leader of every school committee, then.

And it's not as though I don't have things to do myself. My writing pieces need a little more fine-tuning if I'm going to impress Mr. Sterne with my brilliantly glowing genius – ahem, show him I have some potential as a writer. I don't really know why I'm so nervous, though. If my brilliant exposé into the new storage cabinet for school supplies doesn't knock his socks off, what would? I have plenty of time for a refreshing swim… and to hate my best friend, of course.

I'm glad Jessica isn't here. I can imagine what my beloved twin would say, about that brown and grey striped maillot Enid seems to think is flattering and fashionable swimwear. It's not like she actually has to dress like a tramp, or like, well, my twin for example… (Please, please let Jess wear something respectable for the interview with Mr. Sterne. I don't see what was wrong with my suggestion of the Peter Pan blouse, anyway. Jess would have looked perfectly… nice.) But Enid doesn't have to deliberately look a wreck, either.

But then, I always liked that about Enid, that she was so natural. She never had to paint her face or show off, she was always just herself.

Stop that. You're softening, Liz, Remember sweet, shy, natural Enid is getting her hooks into your boyfriend before you're even on the plane.

I wonder if Jeffrey will even remember me. He gave me that beautiful pin, after all… Or if it will be Todd all over again, a few miles between us and it's "Gee, Liz, your cousin Suzanne isn't so bad after all!" Or, in this case, my best friend Enid. Boys are such sluts…

Just because the swimsuit is ugly doesn't mean Enid looks exactly bad in it. Not exactly bad… She's pushing herself out of the pool now, and little rivulets of chlorinated water are catching the light as they run down between creamy breasts. I kind of wish I were as well endowed as she is, although of course I'm more fashionably slender. Her brown hair curls wildly and damply around her face. Those pale green eyes of hers are almost like jade in this sunlight, almost exactly the colour of the water in the pool. I almost don't blame Jeffrey…

Of course I blame Jeffrey! And I blame Enid even more. Doesn't she know it's her job to always be there for me, my sweeter shadow, holding my hand and picking up the pieces?

Why did it have to be my best friend? I feel like I'm losing both of them… Damnit, Enid, how could you do this to me? I always thought you cared about me…

She's looking at me in that particular way she always does when she's uncertain of her ground, head tilted to one side, eyes wide and questioning. Always so unsure of herself, so shy…

"Liz?" she asks tentatively. "Why are you crying?"

I want to howl, or hit someone. No one understands me – and I don't care if that is pathetic teen angst, it's also true. Go ahead and paint my walls black, although I guess it might clash with my baby blue furniture. Going to Interlochen is so important to me, and no one, not my family, not my boyfriend, not my best friend, is going to make it easy for me. I want to hurt someone for it. I could scratch Enid's eyes out with pleasure. If I was Jessica, I could. But I'm the good twin…

"Why should you care if I'm crying?" I flare out. Oh, good going Liz, that will teach her… Rapier wit and untamed aggression, that's Elizabeth Wakefield, teen rebel.

"Of course I care," she says softly, moving to sit beside me on the pool edge. I could almost believe her. "You're my best friend."

"You can't wait for me to go so that you can take my boyfriend. You always wanted him." There's something worse than tears in my throat, choking me. I think if I started screaming – even-tempered Elizabeth, quiet Elizabeth, the good twin – I might never stop. "You always resented me," I say. I sound pathetic.

You always resented me… That's an invitation to a catfight if there ever was one, but Enid doesn't take the bait. I kind of wish she would. Her eyes are wide and bewildered, and they hurt me, somehow. "You think… you think I always wanted Jeffrey? But Elizabeth… Why?"

I can't look at her. Instead I look at our legs, side by side, dangling in the water, looking greyish-green and alien. I dash my tears away with the back of my hand. "You wanted to go out with him when he first came to Sweet Valley, didn't you? Well, don't worry, I'll be gone soon. And then you'll be happy."

"How can you say something like that?" I'm not looking at her, but I know her eyes are full of tears. Enid always cries too easily. Well, who cares. I'm crying too. "Elizabeth, I don't want you to leave." I ignore her. "Liz…"

And then I can feel a hand under my chin, turning it. I get one last look at Enid's pale jade eyes, and then her lips are on mine.

I'm too shocked at first that my best friend is kissing me to think about what it actually feels like. And then... Enid's lips are so soft, and they taste faintly of chlorine. I think vaguely that she kisses well, better than any boy I'd ever kissed, so very gently and with just enough pressure to be... nice. Definitely nice. Nicer than anything I can remember… I'm getting dizzy, and the heat I feel is not just the famous Sweet Valley sunshine.

Enid draw back, and we stare at each other a long moment.

"Dear Liz," she says, softly, and we're kissing again, trading soft sweet brief kisses, over and over, her lips pulling at mine. I don't know how this happened, but I feel like we will go on kissing forever, that I can never bear to stop… I need her lips on mine like air. Dimly, I wonder for how long I've wanted this, and never let myself think about it. I can't even remember how I could have been angry with her. My honey-sweet Enid, dearest of friends… no wonder her lips are so tender and delicate. Like her…

Somehow we're back in the pool, standing in the shallows, and my arms are wrapped around her waist. That seems almost the strangest thing of all, how small her waist is, how neatly she fits in my arms, how totally unlike a boy… I want to crush that precious little waist tighter. Without thinking, I do and… goddess, her breasts, cold and wet and so soft, are flattened against my own… Something convulses within me, sweetly.

"Liz…" Enid breathes, and she's kissing me again, but differently this time. Her tongue slips between my lips, and touches mine, and I can't separate different sensations now, cold bathing suits and warm soft mouths, hot sun drying our hair and cool water around our legs. All I care about is that Enid is kissing me…

I've never been kissed like this before. Todd and Jeffrey were always too respectful, too nice, and the only boys who tried were lecherous sleazes, easily frozen off. I'm the good girl, and I was never interested in all that stuff anyway… I thought it was becuas I was a good girl, but maybe it's because boys, however nice, were not like this…My best friend Enid is sucking passionately on my tongue, as if she could devour me, and instead of feeling threatened and mauled like I do when boys try this, I'm melting and flying… Enid would never hurt me. So sweet…

"Gosh, Enid… " I manage when she releases my mouth at last. I didn't want her to stop kissing me. Goddess… I let my head fall against her shoulder and cling tight. I can't breathe… How on earth did she learn to kiss like this? I realize, suddenly, that although I know Enid messed around with drinking and drugs before she met me and reformed, it never occurred to me there might be other stuff back there… boys… or girls… She's Enid, Enid isn't supposed to know these things… But perhaps she is just like me, somewhere in her heart she has always known.

I want her to kiss me again. So much it hurts.

"Liz…" She's stroking my damp hair. "My Elizabeth." And her mouth is finally back on mine, and it's even better, lusher and wilder and more passionate.

I barely notice that she's lifting me, I'm much lighter in the water, but suddenly I feel the rough bricks of the pool edge under my buttocks. I look into Enid's eyes, to ask what she's doing, and the next thing I know, she's sliding the straps of my bikini down my arms.

"Enid?" I'm suddenly scared. This is not me, I don't let people do things like this… Even Jessica doesn't allow her boyfriends to do this. The Wakefield twins are nice girls, Jessica's leopard-skin swimsuits aside. But it's Enid… my best friend… I trust her. And something inside me wants this, wants it badly.

"It's okay. Please, Liz, let me… I love you…" And I look into her open face, and I know she's telling me the truth. She kisses me again, and I can't argue with her. Not when she kisses me like this. Then her mouth slips to my throat, and only the thought that my family might be home still keeps me from screaming instead of moaning. Oh, no, my family, if they saw this... But Enid's lips are cold living fire on my throat, and I will die if she stops…

Her kisses trace a line down over the curve of my breast, and I'm half in shock. And then they finally close around my left breast and oh… goddess…

I didn't expect it to feel so intense… I didn't expect it to hurt, but Enid's sucking with fierce hunger, and it's lancing pain through my nipple into my body, leaving fire in its wake. It hurts, it hurts, yet it's the most beautiful and tender thing I have ever experienced… I can hear cries coming from my throat that sound like another person, and I can't seem to control my head from flinging back. When Enid's hand slips between my legs and begins to rub me through my bikini I can't even think of an objection, I just arch desperately against her touch, and bite my lip as the pleasure gathers and tightens and finally rips through me.

When I can breathe once more, I open my eyes and look into my first lover's face.


She gives me her usual demure smile, but her breasts are rising and falling hard with her breathing. My best friend leans forward and kisses me, very gently, on the lips. Then she climbs out of the pool and wraps her towel around herself.

"You'd better not tell Mr. Sterne about this in your character interviews," she says coolly.

I don't know what to say. I've just realized I'm in love with my best friend, and I have always been. And I want her back in my arms… Everything has changed, and Enid's talking about interviews?

She leans over me and our lips meet one last time. As she reaches the door back into the house, Enid turns and cast back over her shoulder,

"I really don't want you to go to Switzerland, Liz."