Happy Hyrule Fun Park!

By: Shannon

NOTE: I don't own the rights to LoZ or Disneyland, okay?

Welcome one, welcome all to Happy Hyrule Fun Park where your shoe size is your age! There are several places to visit and lots of ride to ride! Bring yourself, your spouse, your kids, heck even bring your grandkids for the low, low price of $17 a person (or 17 rupees). Meet and greet characters from LoZ: Ocarina of Time and get your picture taken with them! Rides and sections will be indicated in CAPS.


Spin yourself silly on the DEKU SHRUB CUPS! Forgot what you ate for breakfast this morning? Jog your memory by bringing up your food after this mind-boggling, vomit inducing ride! Climb the Deku Tree in the DEKU TREEHOUSE and have hours of fun! Meet characters like Saria and Mido and the Twins! Get a chance to look in LINK'S HOUSE as well! Stop by for a bite to eat at Mido's Grille where there are more bugs in the food than there are rats! Also, try to get lost in THE LOST WOODS! Ride through the Forest Temple on the roller coaster of doom, QUEST FOR THE FOREST MEDALLION! You will be tossed and turned in nine 360 degree loops, then suspended temporarily in midair on the last loop for five hours while the mechanics fix a bug in the machinery! Visit Saria at her souvenir shop, SARIA'S DEKU SOUVENIRS and get your own slingshot or Deku Shield!


Go haywire on the HYRULE FIELD GO-CARTS! See how many poes or skeletons you can knock over (or trees you can bump into)! See if you can find a secret grotto! Also stop in to eat at PETE POE'S DINER when you work up an appetite! The food there is more ghostly than the Kakariko Graveyard! Capture your own poe at the POE CAPUTRE GAME!


At LON LON RANCH-LAND, you can go for pony rides or a lap around the field with Epona! Go to the petting zoo or play Talon's SUPER-CUCCO-FINDIN' GAME! Have a horse race with Ingo! Also stop in for refreshments at MALON'S MILK STAND! On the menu of MALON'S MILK STAND are half-pound burgers (and cheeseburgers) with fries, super fried cuccos with mashed potatoes and gravy with a side of corn on the cob, and for desert, homemade ice cream made with Lon Lon milk! The restaurant also features more entrees such as Hyrulian Fried Steak with potatoes, shakes and malts made with Lon Lon Milk, and good ol' fashioned Lon Lon milk (WARNING: eat or drink the milk products at your own risk since it's not pasteurized or homogenized....take our advice and just have a glass of ice water).


LAKE HYLIALAND is full of fun! Take the fun LAKE HYLIA BOAT CRUISE and meet and greet animatronic Octos! Meet characters such as the scarecrows and the scientist at the LAKESIDE LABORATORY! Go fishing at the fishing pond! Meet the famous owl, Kaeborra Gaeborra, and get a free lift to HYRULE CASTLE TOWN! Visit the LAKE HYLIA'S SEAFOOD EATS cafeteria-restaurant in case you work up an appetite. Vist the HYLIALAND BOUTIQUE for all your souvenir needs! Take a submarine ride in the WATER TEMPLE and go on the WATER TEMPLE LOG RIDE (beware of the sharp, twists and turns and the 60 foot drop at the end)!!


ZORALAND is the place to be at HAPPY HYRULE FUN PARK! Feeling hot? Wanna get wet? Play the DIVING GAME! Go for rides on the JABU-JABU FUN ride as you hop on his back while he goes for a swim (caution: you may get wet)! Hit electric thingys and other creatures with boomerangs in the ZORA'S GAME ALLEY! Stop on in at RUTO'S RESTAURANT for some good, fried BIG OCTO when you're hungry! Also, meet Ruto herself and listen to her whine and cry about how Link won't marry her!


Get a chance to meet the thieves and get your picture taken with them! Go on the SAND-SLEDDING ROLLER COASTER RIDE across Desert Colossus! Take the plunge in the SPIRIT TEMPLE SUPER DROP, a ride that takes an awesome, 75-foot drop....STRAIGHT DOWN! The little kids can go through the SPIRIT TEMPLE PLAYHOUSE and meet Nabooru and all her thief friends! Stop on by the DESERT COLOSSUS PLACE for some cool souvenirs (i.e. your own Spirit Medallion, stuffed Sucker toy plushie...(that thing that eats your Hylian shield), or Barbie-like figures of Nabooru and her friends!).


Scare yourself silly with DAMPE'S GRAVEDIGGING TOUR (not for young children or for the faint of heart)! Stop in at the SHEIKAH'S BUFFET for some good Sheikah-esque cuisine! Take the ride of your life on the KAKARIKO WELL OF TERROR! Spin yourself sick on the WINDMILL MAN'S WINDMILL RIDE! Go on the heart-pounding roller coaster, the SHADOW TEMPLE OF DOOM! Go to IMPA'S EMPORIUM for cool souvenirs!


Visit the Gorons and get your picture taken with Darunia! Feast on some tasty rocks at the GORON CAFE AND GRILLE. Visit the GORON SHOP and get your own Goron Tunic! Hike up to DEATH MOUNTAIN and visit the FIRE TEMPLE! Ride Volvagia on the FIRE TEMPLE RIDE OF HORROR! Travel into DODONGO'S CAVERN and get your picture taken with Dodongo himself! Stop at the DEKU SHRUB SHOP on your way out for some "bargains" on great souvenirs! Visit the BABY DODONGO PETTING ZOO (kids, remember that Baby Dodongos will self-destruct at any moment, so be careful) and bring home a stuffed baby dodongo plushie from the DEKU SHRUB SHOP! Go for a high-flyin' ride through the cavern on the FLAMING BAT RIDE!


Here at HYRULE CASTLE TOWN, visit various souvenir shops for all your souvenir needs! Play games at the HYRULE CASTLE TOWNLAND GAME CENTRE! Meet Princess Zelda and Link and have your picture taken with them! Go on the kid-friendly fantasy ride, HYRULE CASTLE FUN RIDE! Capture your own fairy at the ROCK STATUE STATION. All kids aged 13 and under who come into HYRULE CASTLE TOWN will get a free OCARINA OF TIME! Visit the Mask Shop Owner and get a souvenir mask! Go to LINK'S FINGER-LICKIN' RESTAURANT for some good, Hyrulian eats!


Go on GANON'S GHOSTLY TOUR of Ganon's Castle (again, not for the younger set or the faint of heart). Ride GANON'S GO-COASTER through his castle. Hey kids, go to GANONDORF'S PLAYHOUSE and meet Ganondorf! Twist and turn through the corridors on GANON'S CASTLE RIDE, featuring TWELVE 360 degree loops! Stop on by GANON'S GALLERY for some Piggy Ganon plushies, a Triforce Pin, or a Triforce keychain!

We're open from 9 a.m. to midnight and that's several hours of good ol' family fun! COMING SOON: HAPPY TERMINALAND! Oh, and we aren't responsible for injuries on rides, runs in nylons, motion sickness, etc. etc.