Warning: Contains a slash pairing, but no actual physical stuff. You are warned.
A/N: This was actually written for TheBrotherhoodClub's fanfiction contest at DeviantArt. There was challenge prompts involved, so yeah I figured it was silly and innocent and perhaps someone on here would enjoy it.
Prompts: Rogue, "Patience is a virtue." A key, Sour Patch Kids, A bathroom stall, A picnic, Suspicion
Disclaimer: I own nothing here. Marvel comics owns it all and if I did own Marvel then there would be some RictorShatterstar love going on right now.
No One Will Find Out, Trust Me
Pietro shifted on the end of the couch and glared at the wall. He was pretty sure the clock was not moving. In fact, if he didn't know any better, it was going backwards. He shifted again, turned his head and stared at the living room's only other occupant.
"Will you sit down? You fail at this game and I'm not watching it anymore!" the speed demon huffed and folded his arms. "God when is it going to be one o'clock?"
"Shut up already!" Lance's voice echoed distractedly as he continued to play his game.
Pietro glared and shifted again. "I can't sit here any longer!"
"Then go for a run," Lance suggested as he jumped around looking like a rabbit on crack.
"Can you please switch the song?" Pietro complained again, ignoring Lance's comment. "Face it, you can't beat Cyndi Lauper on expert! It's not going to happen!"
"Yes it is!" Lance yelled determinedly. "I've got this!"
Pietro rolled his eyes. "You can keep trying but you'll fail. I have the high score and not even Todd can beat me! You won't either."
Lance glowered and missed the back step. "Shut up! You're distracting me!"
"Then take me out of here!" Pietro whined childishly.
Lance rolled his eyes. "Just wait."
"You're going to lose," the speed demon teased as Lance teetered on his feet.
"Why don't you--" Lance cursed as his foot slid and he found himself off the console and on the floor. Pietro only smirked down at him from his spot on the couch.
"The only person you'll ever beat at Dance Dance Revolution is Fred. And my dad could probably do that with his stupid helmet even blocking his view." Pietro folded his arms and grinned.
"You screwed me up!" Lance huffed and peeled himself from the floor. "And you cheat! You use your powers!"
Pietro rolled his eyes. "I don't need my powers to beat you or anyone else. But you can't even beat Cyndi Lauper and that's an easy song!" Lance stood on his feet and just glared at him. Pietro smirked. "Can we go now?"
Lance tsked. "Patience is a virtue, you know. Besides, you just had to go insulting me, so why the hell should I even do anything for you now?"
"Because!" Pietro bellowed. "I can't sit in this smelly house any longer! It's making my hair staticky! And I'm hungry! God, Lance do something right!"
"Do you two idiots ever shut up!?" a loud, feminine voice sounded from the doorway of the living room. Pietro turned around on the couch and looked at his sister; Wanda had her arms folded and an irritated glare on her face. "You sound like an old married couple!"
Pietro smirked and looked at Lance who only paled. The speed demon turned back around and stared at Wanda. "And don't you have anything better to do than listen to me?"
"I wish I could get around that," she spat. "Unfortunately you make it a habit of ruining my life."
He grinned. "Well, that's a step up from last week." She rolled her eyes and turned on her heel to walk away. Pietro scrunched up his face. "Are you leaving soon?"
She turned. "Why?"
"Just wondering!" he casually replied.
"Yeah, I'm just waiting for that slimy idiot and I'm gone."
Lance snorted from behind Pietro. "You're actually going out in public with him?"
Wanda scowled and glared at him, a tiny spark of blue appearing at her fingertips. "If I have to be around that many people, I may as well have fun and throw him in traffic a bit."
"Aw, that's so romantic," Pietro teased, and quickly jumped from the couch to avoid a hex bolt. "Although I'd advise you never reproduce together because not only would they have a bad attitude, but they'd smell and look green."
"Pietro!" the witch shrieked and threw another hex at him. Pietro, again, was too quick and buzzed out of the way in time for the bolt to hit the TV. The appliance buzzed to life and began rapidly flipping channels. Lance groaned at the loss of his game.
"Will you two knock it off!" he glared and sent a small tremor through the building.
Wanda didn't back off. "You can't beat Cyndi Lauper! Get over it!"
"I can too!" he frowned.
Pietro just rolled his eyes. "You're so sensitive."
Wanda just threw her hands up in the air. "I'm outta here."
"Bye!" Pietro grinned happily, and nearly giggled when he caught Todd bounding out the door behind her excitedly. The speed demon turned to Lance. "Well then, they're finally gone."
"Where's Fred?" Lance asked with a slight grumble in his tone.
"Where else? Shoving his face somewhere that costs more money than I'd like to think about," Pietro shuddered involuntarily, and then straightened his body so he was standing his full height. "And I'm hungry! Feed me already, dammit!"
"Why should I? You called me sensitive," Lance glared.
"Aw, I'm sorry! Did I bruise your man ego?" Pietro scoffed and picked up a key from the coffee table. "Jeep! Now! Food!"
Lance grabbed the small piece of silver and sighed. "I don't even know why I bother."
"I do!" Pietro chirped happily and shoved him toward the door. "But don't worry, I can't resist myself either!"
The rock tumbler just rolled his eyes and huffed before stomping out the door in that irritating way he always did. Pietro smirked; he was rather pleased with himself. Although he did have to wonder why it took Lance so damn long to get a move on; he really needed to never play Dance Dance Revolution again because he failed at life when he did. Pietro smoothed back his hair and ran full speed out the door and into the waiting vehicle.
"Soooo…" the silver haired teen lulled. "Where you taking me?"
"To the highway, I heard there's some good road kill out there," he snapped.
"Oh stop being so moody," Pietro rolled his eyes and popped open the glove compartment as Lance sped out the driveway and onto the road. The speed demon rummaged around until he found an old, wrinkly yellow bag. "Oh! Candy!"
"No!" Lance yelled. "I told you I'd feed you, but there's no way in hell I'm letting you have candy! I'm not chasing you around again."
Pietro grinned happily and unrolled the already opened package. Sour Patch Kids. He frowned at the old looking candy. "But that was so much fun though."
Lance glowered. "Yeah says you. I got hit by a bike."
Pietro snorted and dug his fingers into the bag; the candies were practically stones they were so hard. He frowned and plucked out a red one to inspect it. "It's your fault for not watching where you were going."
"You sped by him so fast he flew at me!" Lance protested. "Even the fire hydrant was ripped out of place!"
Pietro turned in the seat and smiled sweetly at him. "Peace offering?" he held up the stale, rock hard candy in the air.
Lance shrugged and opened his mouth as he kept his eyes on the road. Pietro moved his fingers to Lance's mouth and placed the candy on his tongue, and casually drew his fingers down the boy's lip. Lance gave him a look before gagging. "Pietro!"
The speed demon laughed. "What?"
"That tastes like freaking death!" he spat the candy out the window and wiped violently at his mouth with the back of his hand. "Where did you even find those?"
Pietro eyed the still open glove compartment -- which was also filled with mounds of old garbage and random car-fixer-upper-things. "Um, my pocket?"
Lance glared at him and turned the car angrily into a parking lot. "You're a dick."
"Well if that's the case I hardly see why that's a bad thing," he lulled playfully. "Besides, I was just trying to be nice and you should appreciate that! It takes a lot for me to do that, you know! God."
Lance huffed and parked the jeep. "I'm running inside to use the washroom; do you want food from here or no?"
Pietro eyed the sign; some burger place. "Yeah sure, whatever, just make sure you get me some ice cream! This heat's killing me! My complexion can't handle this crap!"
Lance clenched his teeth. "Fine."
Pietro smiled. "And sprinkles?"
"And get it to go?" he asked again.
Lance stared at him. "Like I'd try to force you to eat at dirty tables."
Pietro scrunched up his face. "Ew, you know they don't clean them! And the trays always have ketchup stains and finger prints! And people always leave money on the tables, and do youevenknowhowfreakingdirtythatis?!"
Lance's eyes widened at the sudden outburst. "Okay! I won't make you eat in there!"
Pietro smiled. "We can have a picnic instead!"
Lance's face fell. "A picnic."
The rock tumbler sighed irritably. "Why the hell would you…wh-…argh, never mind. I'll be right back."
Pietro watched his back as he walked into the restaurant; he had so much fun annoying him. It really did make his day. Lance would get that look on his face where his top lip would twitch just a little on the right side, and his left eye would narrow at him. It was so ridiculously cute that Pietro couldn't even handle it ever. And deep down inside he knew Lance liked it just as much; he wouldn't go around doing things for him if he didn't.
The speed demon shifted impatiently in his seat and flipped down the visor in front of him. Hair was perfect -- like always, and his teeth looked fantastic. He shot himself a few smiles before bolting out of the car and quickly into the restaurant. Pietro pivoted on one foot and took a corner, circled the dining room until he reached the men's bathroom. As soon as he got inside, all the paper towels flew off the shelves and dispensers, covering Lance with them.
"What the hell are you doing now?!" he snapped as he slapped away at the offending pieces of garbage.
"I'm bored, I wanna have fun," Pietro stated and shoved Lance toward a bathroom stall.
"Wha'--" Lance's face looked panic stricken as Pietro locked the door behind them. "Fun?! HERE?!"
"Duh," Pietro rolled his eyes and threw his arms around his neck. "Relax, have I ever been wrong about this stuff? No. God, Lance lighten up and listen to me more often. Jeez."
"Pietro! We're in public!" Lance's voice cracked.
"Relax! No one will find out! I swear!"
"I cannot believe you did that," Lance grumbled as they walked across the grass of Bayville Park with their food in their arms. Lance's face was flushed tomato red, but Pietro was happy. He had ice cream!
"Settle down," Quicksilver rolled his eyes. "You weren't complaining."
"You do realize there were germs in there?!"
Pietro let a sick smile cross his face. "Lance germs."
"Shut the hell up," Lance clutched his fists angrily around his take out bag. "First that, now a freaking picnic. You are so weird."
"I am not," Pietro scoffed and sat down happily in the grass with his ice cream. "No one is going to find out, so just shut up and eat your man burger and be happy for once in your life."
Lance sighed and eyed his triple patty bacon cheeseburger. "I don't think I'm hungry anymore."
"Of course you are!" Pietro waved him off and shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. "You're always hungry after a work out!"
"PIETRO!" Lance hissed and eyed the people walking by them. "Don't say that out loud!"
"What are you so ashamed of?" Pietro scoffed. "God you act as though there are X-Dorks hanging around in the bushes and spying on you."
Lance paled at that. "There could be!"
Pietro grabbed Lance's bag and took out all the food and placed it in front of the rock tumbler at top speed. Lance tried to watch him, but just looked dizzy as he did so. The speed demon grinned and then stole some fries. "You're so paranoid, it's weird. You need to calm down and trust me. I know these things, okay?"
"You're like the poster boy for bad ideas! I know this is going to turn around and bite me in the ass!" Lance panicked.
"Pfft," Pietro waved him off. "Trust me."
The rock tumbler shoved the rest of the fries at Pietro and took a bunch of bites out of his burger. He did not look like he was enjoying it, rather, only as though he was trying to get rid of it. "There you happy?" he spat with a mouth full of food.
Pietro sighed. "Fine. We can go; at least you tried to have a picnic."
Lance gave him a pleading look. "Sorry."
Pietro smiled at him. "No problem, the house is empty! We can…"
"NO!" Lance shouted. "Don't say anything else!"
"Fine," Pietro stood from his spot and started walking backwards toward the line of trees and back to the jeep. "I'll just have dirty thoughts about it then! I'll think about it all the way home! It will be delicious! And sexy fun! And I…"
"Pietro! Watch out!" Lance had a horrified look on his face.
Pietro perked an eyebrow and turned around, but it was too late.
Lance felt like puking. Or running. Or passing out. Or something. Whatever it was he felt like doing though, didn't make a damn difference because his body wasn't doing anything but standing there looking like a total idiot as Pietro laid unconscious on the grass.
Rogue had just walked over the hill and out from behind a tree when Pietro had backed into her. And he touched her. And he was on the ground.
And he was thinking dirty thoughts.
Lance's grabbed at his hair frantically and stared at the Goth girl, who was giving him a weird look. "Can't you watch where you're going?!" he squeaked.
"Ah did! It was yoah perverted boyfriend who didn't!" she spoke at a fast speed.
Lance smacked himself in the forehead as he felt his cheeks burn. "He's not my boyfriend!"
"Right…" she bit her lip and began inching away from Pietro. She had a suspicious look on her face, and Lance knew right then and there that Pietro was going to die that night -- because he was going to freaking kill him.
"He was just being…I swear!" Lance's voice cracked.
Rogue just nodded, and inched further away. "Right…."
"GAH!" Lance screamed and ran at Pietro and picked him up roughly by the shirt. "You idiot!"
The speed demon's eyelashes fluttered open. "Oh my god…did I drop my ice cream?"
Lance growled. "I hate you!"
"No you don't!" Pietro and Rogue simultaneously replied.
Lance twitched, and clenched his fists. "Go away!"
Rogue's eyebrows rose and she raised her hands in defense. "Fahne with meh! Ah'm sure y'all wanna be left alone anyway!"
"Rogue, it's not…" Lance started, but she was already walking away. He glowered and stared down at Pietro.
"Well, she does have a point…" he grinned lazily.
Lance dropped him back down to the grass and began stalking back to the jeep. "Why me? Dear god someone shoot me."