To Have...
By: Keiko Nakamoto
Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or Ryoga, or Ranma, or Ukyo, or Akane, or...etc.
Notes: A real short lil' shounen ai thing about Ryoga. So...Feh.

To Have...
'Happiness', che, whatever. Like that'd ever happen to me. 'Love', feh, sure. Like anyone could love me. 'Joy', you kidding? I've never felt that. 'Peace', fff, it don't exist for me. 'Meaning', bull, you know that ain't real. So why am I still alive? Hell, I have no clue. Maybe it's for him. I want him to have all that I don't. Everything is meaningless, but he deserves more than that. He doesn't even know I care. He'd hate me even more if he knew. But...still, I love him. Still, I watch him. 'Lost'? Right. Do they really think I'm that pathetic? When I'm 'lost' 'god-knows-where' I'm really just a few yards away, watching. Then, I head to the import store, buy something from China, or France or wherever and I either head to the Tendo Dojo, or I mock attack him. Does he really think that I'm giving those fights my all? I could never bring myself to even near the possibility of hurting him. So let him think that he's stronger than me. Let him have his pride.

They all think that they know me. I'm in love with Akane don'tcha know. Feh. In their dreams. The only reason I pretend to like her, is to have an excuse to be near him. They all think that they're so damn smart. Fine. Let them think so, just so long as I can be near him. I don't even know when this all started, maybe it was recently, maybe it was all those years ago before we were cursed. Maybe I loved him forever and a lifetime before. Maybe I'd never know. No matter, though. I didn't care, so long as I could stay here watching. No way he'd ever love me, so I never bother telling anyone. Even Ukyo doesn't know, and she's convinced that she knows everything about me. She even knows that I don't really like Akane. I think that Ukyo believes that I'm secretly in love with her, fine. She can think that. I don't want to hurt her, but it's best if no one finds out how I feel about him.

I check a small pocket calendar. I've been 'gone' for two weeks. That's long enough. I run ahead to the fence that I know he'll be walking down soon. I know his daily routines up and down. He'll be getting along here towards Shampoo's place right about...

"Where do you think you're going?" Akane asks angrily. Ranma, walking on the fence ignores her. "Hey! I'm talking to you!!"

"Yeah, whatever Akane." He replies. I wait...wait...now.

"Ranma! Prepare to die!" I shout, bursting out of the bushes.

"Ryoga!" Both of them exclaim in surprise. I dive at Ranma and purposely slow my movements so he's sure to get away.

"Jeeze Ryoga," he says, sidestepping me. "What's got you so riled up?"

"Don't give me that, Ranma!" I yell, trying hard not to swoop the boy up and kiss him then and there. He rolls his eyes for which Akane clobbers him.

"Ryoga," she says with a sweet smile. "You wanna come with us to Shampoo's place?"

I grin like an idiot and Ranma glares at me.

"S-sure Akane..." I pretend to stutter. She smiles more.

"C'mon, and make sure to stay right behind us."

"I-I will..." I say, accidentally rolling my eyes. Luckily Akane doesn't notice. Ranma, however, does. He gives me a questioning stare. I flash him a quick fanged grin, temporarily dropping the lovesick act, then quickly turning back to Akane. He stops dead in his tracks.

"R-Ryoga?" he stutters. I turn and face him. "Y-you okay?"

I sigh. I'll never be okay until you're mine.

"Yeah." I say. Someday. You wait and see Ranma, someday you'll love me too...and I'll get to have you.

~ Owari

Kay, it's not so good, but it's my first Ranma 1/2 fanfiction, so gimme a break, and not of a Kit-Kat bar. *shudders* Ick.