Celebrity Jeopardy: Danny Phantom Edition.
Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom or SNL or Jeopardy, this is just for fun.
Author's Notes: Welcome to my first oneshot series, this time I decided to try something new, comedy, after reading a couple Whose Line is It Anyway Danny Phantom fanfics, I decided to do one based on SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy, I will tell you now that the jokes will be clean (I don't like dirty jokes) and I hope you get a good laugh from it.
Chapter I: Curse you and your Daily Doubles
"Live from California, it's Celebrity Jeopardy, Danny Phantom edition!" the voice of Johnny Gilbert (the announcer on Jeopardy) announced as the Jeopardy Logo flashed on the screen for a second before the jeopardy stage appeared, let's meet today's contestants," he continued as the camera zoomed to the podiums.
"He's from the Ghost Zone and is it's self-proclaimed greatest hunter who enjoys swearing blood oaths and resting pelts at the foot of his bed, please welcome Skulker!" Johnny said as the Ghost Hunter aimed a weapon at the audience forcing them to clap as the camera zoomed away to the second podium, "our second contestant is a professional ghost hunter from Amity Park, Illinois who enjoys tearing ghosts apart atom by atom and fudge, please welcome Jack Fenton!" Johnny said as the spotlight shone on Jack.
"HELLO AMERICA!" Jack shouted as he waved at audience cheerfully as the camera zoomed to the final period.
"Our final contestant hails from the Ghost Zone, he is the master of all thing cardboard and square and he will have his corrugated cardboard vengeance please welcome the Box Ghost," Johnny said as the camera focused on the Box Ghost who shouted is traditional greeting of 'beware!' at the audience as the camera zoomed away again.
"Now here is the host of Jeopardy, Alex Trebek!" Johnny said as Alex came out, more cheerful than usual and took at his place at his podium and waved at the audience.
"Yes and welcome to Celebrity Jeopardy, Danny Phantom Edition, I am Alex Trebek and the only reason I didn't kill myself yesterday is that network agreed to let a certain Scotsman on Wheel of Fortune, so I assure we will actually play the game tonight, so moving on are you ready to play Skulker, Jack, and Box Ghost," Alex asked with a smile.
"If I don't win this game, Trebek, I will rest your pelt at the foot of my bed," Skulker said with a smile as he watched the nervous host.
"You better believe it, I've heard this stage is haunted by Merv Griffin's ghost, so I brought my ghost hunting gear," Jack said as he donned a pear of Ghost Gauntlets and began punching the air.
"Beware, Alex, for I am the Box Ghost and I will win this contest of…uh…oh yeah... brains!" the Box Ghost shouted as he laughed insanely.
"Fabulous," Trebek sighed as he turned to the board, "let's look at the categories they are: Famous Ghosts, Movies about Ghosts, The Green Bay Packers, Fruit Flavored Sugar Coated Cereals, Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals, and finally Danny, Dan, or Danni, that is where I show you a picture and you tell me if it's Danny Phantom, Dan Phantom, or Danni Phantom," Trebek explained as the categories and amounts appeared on the board, "and Skulker you get to go first pick a category," he said nervously.
"So I get the first kill, eh, very well, I'll choose Famous Ghosts for 100," Skulker said with a smile.
"Okay here is the answer, this title character has live action movies made about him," Alex said reading the question from the card, but before Skulker could buzz in the Box Ghost buzzed in, "Box Ghost," Alex said turning to him.
"What is Beware!" the Box Ghost shouted, as the buzzer buzzed and his score became -$100.
"No, the answer is not Beware, Jack, Skulker any clue?" Alex asked as Jack buzzed in, "yes, Jack," he said hopefully and praying this would not be a repeat of yesterday's show.
"Quiet, Alex, I think I found Merv's ghost," Jack said dismissingly as he got out the Fenton Finder and began searching the stage for Merv's specter.
"And I thought we had stooped to a new low when Burt Reynolds was here," Trebek bemoaned and so it was throughout the round. Jack would either go off looking for Merv Griffin or blabber on about ghosts and show off his inventions; Skulker would threaten him if he got an answer wrong; and the Box Ghost would simply yell 'beware!' all the time.
"And we're off," the director said as they took break for a commercial.
"Listen you three, I am trying to run an intelligent game show here, I was promised a normal show without any idiots, but apparently I was lied to, and if you three don't get it together, you three are…," he began to say as the they went back on the air, "welcome back to Jeopardy, let's look at the scores. Box Ghost is in the lead with -100,000,000 dollars, Jack is in second with -500,000 dollars and Skulker is last with -7800 dollars," He said as he noticed that Skulker had a gun aimed at him, "which is good so let's…," he said before he was cut off.
"NOT SO FAST TREBEK!" a loud voice bellowed as everyone turned to see who said it, "What's this, playing your little Canadian Mind Game and not inviting me, I'm hurt," the voice said mocking the host.
"Mr. Connery, what are you doing here, you're supposed to be on Wheel of Fortune," Alex said as the Scottish actor walked up to the stage amid the cheers of the audience.
"Let's be honest, Sajak isn't as fun as you are laddy and besides at 7:30 your mother takes her Morphine and falls asleep," Connery laughed, never missing a chance to insult the host's mother.
"Well, as much I miss your witty comments, you can't be on the show this is the Danny Phantom edition, meaning that you have be on the show Danny Phantom to be eligible," Trebek said hoping to rid himself of himself of Sean for awhile.
"Well of course, I'm on Danny Phantom, you Beef-footed Applejohn, I'm in the fourth Danny Phantom movie, playing Vlad Master's father," Connery said causing the Danny Phantom stars to wonder of why they never heard of this movie, but after some debate decided to ditch the Box Ghost and replace him with Sean.
"You can't do this to me, I am the Box…hey a box for a 100" Plasma screen TV, awesome," the ghost said as he went after his 'prize.'
"All right Sean, you're up first," Alex said taking a deep breath and praying that Connery would not do what he always does.
"I'll take Famous G Hosts," Sean said with his usual arrogance and suaveness that made him famous.
"It's Ghosts not G Hosts," Trebek corrected the actor, fearing where with this would lead to.
"I can read Trebek that says G Hosts, I should know I was a G Host for 30 years, not a pleasant experience let me tell you," He said laughing.
"Thank you for sharing, Mr. Connery," Alex said sarcastically, "For how much," he asked Sean worriedly.
"Surprise me, you greasy haired answer jockey!" Connery shouted as Alex rolled his eyes contemplating killing himself right now, but was afraid as he might be condemned to be Sean Connery's neighbor for eternity, "Fine, for six hundred, Famous Ghosts for 600. This ghost is featured in Shakespeare's Hamlet?" Alex read as he Sean buzzed in, Yes, Mr. Connery," Alex moaned.
"What is your father when you were born," Sean said laughing.
"Wait a second, you're father's a ghost," Jack exclaimed as he got out the Fenton Bazooka ready to blast Alex to oblivion.
"The moment this Ponse was born, his father died from horror for helping to bring such a monster into the world," Sean laughed again, pleased with his joke as it got to Trebek's nerves.
"Why don't we go to break and return for Double Jeopardy," Alex pleaded as he they went to a commercial and Alex headed back stage.
He sat down on the floor and took out a pistol from his pocket, "This is it Trebek, you said if he showed up, you would do it. I don't care if I spend Eternity next to him, I'm still ending this contract the only way I know, then he's someone else's problem," he said as he held the gun to his head but didn't have the guts to shoot and walked back on the stage as the commercial was over.
"Welcome back to Double Jeopardy, the categories are: Halfas, Purpleback Gorillas, Ghosts of Literature, S Words, and How Stupid is Alex Trebek, wait a second," Alex said as he walked over to the board and saw someone covered up the real category with a piece paper with title he read, "give me that," he said as he tore it off as Sean Connery laughed at his prank, "okay the last category is actually Technus or Tetris, where you tell me whether the clue pertains to the ghost or the video game. Skulker you're up," Alex said returning to his post.
"Remember what I said Trebek, I lose you die," Skulker threatened as he looked at the board, "I'll take S words for 2,000 Alex" he said with a smile.
"Psst, you in the bad Halloween costume, the category is actually Swords," Connery whispered to Skulker with a smile, knowing how much that makes the host mad when he says that.
"Oh, I like swords, almost as much as I like seeing people hitting people," Skulker said happily.
Alex wanted to say something but didn't for fear of riling up Connery again and the show turning to chaos, "Okay here's the answer. This weapon is the signature blade of the Fright Knight," Alex read.
"Aha, it was Swords and you thought I was crazy, you Mountebank!" Connery announced triumphantly.
Before Trebek could answer Jack buzzed in, "Yes, Jack Fenton," Alex said trying to keep his cool and failing.
"Would it be my latest invention, the specter slicer?" Jack asked taking out a glowing green knife, "this baby can skin s ghost like a deer," he said smiling.
"No, you are incorrect Mr. Fenton. Mr. Connery," He sighed as the actor buzzed in.
"What is your mother," Sean said laughing at his humor.
"No, anyone?" Alex asked upset, "Fine, we'll just skip ahead to final jeopardy, the category is The Hawking Paradox oh sorry that's for regular jeopardy we're filming later today, your category is nothing, all you have to do is nothing and you win," he said as the lights dimmed and the Jeopardy theme starting playing.
Trebek thought he got away with this when Skulker buzzed in, "Skulker why did you buzz in, you should have remained, silent," he shouted to which the ghost replied that no one ordered him around.
"Okay, so we're left with Ja…" Trebek said as Jack buzzed in, "Yes, Mr. Fenton," he asked fed up with whole stupid game.
"I can have a cookie, Alex," Jack said excitedly.
"Why do I always I get the…," he said before he was interrupted by a buzzing noise, he turned as he saw Connery slamming down on the buzzer multiple times and laughing, "Why are you doing that, Mr. Connery," Trebek asked about to scream.
"Because I hate you Trebek," Connery said in mock sympathy before laughing, "and besides I wrote something down, just for you, laddy," Sean said as he revealed what he scribbled down.
"Your response was 'Your' and you wagered 'Mother' how nice, Mr. Connery," Trebek said about to lose his mind,"Well I guess than the winner is….," he began to say until Skulker began to shoot at him.
"Tune…ow…in…ow…tomorrow…ow…for…another…ow…and…ow …hopefully…ow…non-life threatening…ow…game…of …ow …Jeopardy," Trebek managed to say while Skulker chased him off the stage, ending the show.
Up Next: Enter Ember McClain: Ghostwriter, Ember McClain, and Burt Reynolds