A/N: This story is not formatted in the same way as Uric the Oddball's Fantastic Adventures. It should read more like one of the books and Uric's thoughts are not in italics. It is however, an AU from Uric the Oddball's Fantastic Adventures.

Chapter 1: Uric is eleven and just getting on the coaches for Hogwarts. On the coaches he makes some friends…and enemies.

Disclaimer: Uric the Oddball is not mine, nor is Hogwarts and all attendant ideas. They belong to Rowling. However, I created nearly every professor and student in this story and anyone may do with them as he/she likes.

Go on. Read the first chapter. I dare you:)


Chapter 1: The Coaches

            Uric Beaufolle stood with his parents on the stagecoach platform. Today would be his first day at Hogwart's School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. If the stagecoaches ever got there that is. He wondered if they had stopped for tea somewhere.

            Uric was tall for his eleven years. His fine brown hair was pulled back into the braid that was popular among wizarding boys these days. Large, hazel eyes stared out over the rapidly growing crowd of young wizards and their families. Uric risked a quick glance up at his parents, standing on either side of him.

            His father's dark brown beard hid most of his face, but Uric knew he was staring out at the crowd with distaste. The crowd was disorganized and loud. Two things Uric's father hated.

            His mother had lighter hair that matched Uric's. Her green eyes were unreadable as they scanned the crowd, and Uric knew she was worried by the way she crushed his hand.

            For his part, Uric was secretly elated to be going to school. He loved seeing new things and Hogwarts seemed the perfect place to indulge himself. Maybe he could even test out his theory about flying dust rags replacing brooms. You used both of them to clean after all…

            "Uric!" His father was shaking his shoulder.

            "Yes Father?"

            "None of this crazy stuff you hear? Don't embarrass me at school. Make sure you do your homework. Your mother will see you off. I have to get back to the Council." He swept Uric up in a hug then walked quickly away, absentmindedly accepting the greetings of his fellow wizards. Uric watched him with pride. Father was a respected Council member and everyone knew him.

            His mother began fussing with his robes and hair, and he squirmed under her attention. She bent down so she could meet his eyes.

            "Listen to me Uric. I know you don't understand what 'crazy things' are, or even know what you're doing when you say such odd things, but you must watch yourself at Hogwarts. While you are there you are representing the Beaufolle family and our honor must be upheld. Do well, stay out of trouble and don't forget to make some friends." She kissed him and he made a face.


            "Yes Uric?"

            "Don't you think it would be easier if we all grew grass instead of hair? Then all we'd have to do is remember to water ourselves every once and awhile." She sighed and kissed him once again on the head.

            "Be good Uric…" He never found out what she was going to say because the Hogwart's coaches arrived.

            Seven huge, dark purple coaches rolled into view. They were each drawn by four giant hogs. Their bristles dripped sweat and several of the girls screamed when they snorted fire. Uric began dragging his trunk closer, joining the crowd around the entrance to the coach nearest him. The door of the carriage was decorated with the Hogwarts coat of arms on a shield of light purple.

            The door opened and the crowd shifted back. A short woman with curly blond hair stepped out onto the step. She was dressed in the black Hogwart's robes with a chimera embroidered over her heart. She smiled out over the crowd. Everyone stopped talking and waited for her to speak. When she did, her mellifluous voice was strong enough to cut through the noise around the other coaches. Their students, Uric noted, were already being loaded, with a few stragglers wandering over to join the crowd around the blond haired lady.

            "My name is Professor Baker and this is the first-year coach. You may give your trunks to the driver, who will place them up on top." She gestured to the roof, which was lined with rails.

            "Students are advised to keep with them only the essentials they need for the journey. Snacks will be available. We ask parents not to enter the coaches, so say your goodbyes out here." Someone up front asked a question Uric couldn't hear. Professor Baker smiled down at the questioner as she answered.

            "Don't worry. I'll be chaperoning them the whole way," she said. Uric noticed his mother had gotten a hold of his hand again and was squeezing it even tighter than before.

            "Mum, my hand says it needs blood to live," he pointed out. She looked down at him and let go of his hand.

            "Sorry sweetheart. You'll write me if there's any trouble right?"

            "Of course mum," he said, then gave her a quick kiss. She was beginning to make him nervous and Uric didn't want to be nervous. He eagerly dragged his trunk over to the driver, his mother trailing behind him. They waited as the driver loaded everyone's different trunks.

            The driver was a huge, hulking man with a bushy black beard and a large pear shaped nose. He just grunted when Uric said thank you.

            Clutching the cage for his pet tightly, Uric walked over to the door of the coach. Most of the other first years were already inside. Professor Baker was leaning against the door, playing some type of game with a string. His mother decided to introduce him.

            "Professor Baker? I'm Lydia Beaufolle. This is my son, Uric," she said. The professor looked him over with disinterested eyes. He had the feeling she'd been introduced to a lot of students today. She stuck out a hand still covered with string.

            "Nice to meet you Uric." She smiled at him encouragingly and motioned with her eyes for him to get in the coach. "Don't worry Mrs. Beaufolle. He'll be fine." This didn't seem to assure his mother much.

            "I love you Uric," she called right before he stepped through. Professor Baker was gently steering her away from the coach. He turned on the step and waved, then entered the coach.


            The coach was, like many magical conveyances, much larger on the inside than on the outside. Four rows of ten red velvet lined seats, split down the middle by an aisle, took up most of the space. Great velvet curtains framed the enlarged windows.

            It was loud in the compartment, as nearly forty students tried to find their seats. Uric stood in the doorway, which opened between two of the rows, and tried to decide where to sit. He felt something poke his backside.

            "Move your arse," said an annoyed voice behind him. He turned around. There stood a short girl with her hands on her hips. She was glaring at him. She absentmindedly pushed a strand of her stringy, blond hair out of her face revealing a large smudge on her cheek.

            "Hello," he said, belatedly remembering to bow like he had been taught.

            "I asked you to move, not bow." She pushed him into one of the seats in an effort to get past him.

            "Ooof!" he exclaimed. The girl just walked away. Uric quickly forgot about her as he checked to see if the cage in his hand was all right. The heavy wool cover had slipped, revealing the cage's golden bars and its astonished occupant.

            Uric's uncle, Melphicles, was well known for his experimental breeding. He had a habit of foisting his finished experiments off on his relatives. This year, Uric had received one of the stranger experiments as a gift for his eleventh birthday. It resembled a green lizard, about twenty centimeters long. Out of its back sprouted a set of light blue feathery wings. Feathers also sprouted randomly at other places on its body, especially on its head.

            It stuck its head out the bars and chirruped at him. Uric smiled broadly and pet its head with his finger.

            "Hello, Simon. Enjoying your trip? It's very red in here, isn't it?" Simon chirped at him, in what Uric took as agreement. He could feel the coach lurch into motion and held the cage even tighter than before.

            "What's that?" said a dark-haired boy, peering into the cage. Uric was shocked to discover that kids surrounded him and Simon.

            "Yeah. What is it?" asked the girl who had pushed him. Two other girls were making cooing noises at Simon.

            "She's adorable," said one of them.

            "It looks like some sort of bird-lizard," commented the other.

            "He is a bird-lizard, but don't tell him. He thinks he's just a bird."

            "And just how are we supposed to tell him?" came the voice of a tall boy in the back. "None of us are exactly skilled at speaking to bird-lizards are we?" A few of the kids laughed. The tall boy smiled a mocking smile and began to speak in a lecturing tone.

            "Interspecies breeding is frowned upon by the Wizard's Council due to the large death rate involved for the creatures and their handlers. I imagine that bird-lizard has some sort of flaw as well. It'll probably die of organ failure before Hallowe'en, leaving you without a pet." Uric glared at the boy.

            "He won't die! I've had Simon for months now!" he protested. It was very mean to say something like that, especially in front of Simon. One of the boys reached into the cage to try to pet Simon, causing him to flap his wings and leap about the cage. Uric was forced to break off his glare to try to soothe him.

            "It's a proven fact that half-breeds don't last long," said the tall boy, trying to continue the argument. When Uric didn't respond, he decided to try a different tact. "My name is Varys Nachleen. We know your creature's name is Simon. What's yours?" All the others had gone silent.

            "Uric Beaufolle," said Uric, remembering his mother's admonition about making friends, though he really didn't think he could be friends with someone who didn't like Simon. Varys surprised him by holding out his hand.

            "Our father's work together on the Council. It's strange how we've never met. You would think, two council members with children the same age…" Uric didn't know what he was getting at. He decided to change the subject.

            "Have you ever wondered what it would be like if spoons ruled the Earth? I don't think we'd ever be allowed to eat soup again." They were all staring at him. He self-consciously patted down his hair. Maybe his braid had come undone. Suddenly, Varys began to laugh.

            "You're completely bonkers. No wonder your father's been hiding you away," he said, still laughing. Uric frowned at him. Was Varys insulting his father?

            "He's not insane!" spoke up the dirty blond-haired girl. "They don't give Hogwart's letters to insane people." Varys looked her over.

            "You're Muggle-born aren't you?" he asked. The girl nodded unwillingly. "Then you wouldn't know that getting a Hogwart's letter only means you have magical talent. Nothing more."

            "Personally, I think we all have to be a tad bit insane to play with magic like we do," came the lilting voice of Professor Baker. "Would you all leave Uric's poor bird alone and take a seat? Sometimes the hogs get feisty and you don't want to be visiting Madame Reinhart on your first day in." The students quickly went back to their chosen seats. Uric was surprised to see the blonde-haired girl slump down beside him. She stared down at her feet until everyone left, than turned to him.

            "You just had to say that didn't you? Spoons?!"

            "Say what?" he asked. She looked at him sharply. Uric really had no idea what she was talking about.

             "Never mind. Can I see Simon?" she asked, staring curiously at the bird-lizard. Uric nodded and handed her the cage.

            "I'd take him out, but he's not used to this place and he might get scared." Simon was letting her pet his head.

            "It's okay. My name is Mena by the way. My father is guild master to the blacksmith's of London. Is the Wizard's Council like a guild?"

            "I don't know what a guild is, but the Wizard's Council is in charge of the Wizarding World. It makes the laws and sets the standards that everyone must follow," he said. His father had explained this many times over the dinner table.

            "And your father's on it?"

            "Yes," said Uric proudly, "there's been a Beaufolle on the Council since 1128."

            "Yeah, well there's been a Smith in England since before the beginning of time," she said in an annoyed tone. And with that, she turned away from him and began reading one of their textbooks. Uric looked at her for a moment, than shrugged. He went back to contemplating his 'silverware ruling the earth' theory.


Chapter 2: The Sorting and we get our first look at Hogwarts in the 1600's. It'll be up tomorrow probably.

Did you hate it? Love it? Think it was totally stupid? Review and tell me:)