Five: Open-Mouthed Jaw

Xerxes stared at the compewtor unable to close his gaping mouth. He had awoken and gone to the compewtor first thing to see if there were any new reviews on his writing, and was surprised to see that the same person commented on all three of his stories. He did not take offense to the harsh words of criticism, but he did want to see if this person, this Semi-Phenomenal Nearly Cosmic, could back up words with his or her own writing, so he went to their account and noticed that they had written one story. A story rated M. So, not quite understanding the ratings system, he clicked on the story and began to read.

The first chapter was really good, he thought, and he liked the adventure, even though he thought it a little far-fetched that his master could not defeat the evil monster, and that master had actually apologized to Aladdin and Jasmine. It was the second chapter that gave him pause, even after reading the warning that said that chapter two was going to be heavily graphic. Not quite knowing what to expect, he began to read, and imagine his shock when he read about things he never knew could be done.

By the time he was finished with the second chapter, many questions buzzed in his brain, and many images as well. He did not think he would be able to stop thinking about those things any time soon. Flying from the compewtor, he went in search of Mozenrath, who was in the dining room enjoying morning coffee. He floated just before his master and stared.

"Yes, Xerxes?" began Mozenrath in a bored voice.

"Um, master? Xerxes have question."

There was a pause, to which Mozenrath sighed and said, "Go ahead."

"If you fist with right hand, would it hurt?"

Mozenrath was in the middle of a sip, and choked on his coffee. Sputtering, getting black liquid all over the front of his robe, he stared wide-eyed at his familiar. "What?"

Xerxes spun around twice in the air, then began again. "If you fist. . . "

"I heard you the first time!" Mozenrath absently swiped at the wetness on his clothes with his left hand. "What would make you ask such a question?"

"Xerxes read story, very graphic. Don't think can be done."

Mozenrath was on his feet in an instant, his eyes narrowed, glaring with pure anger at his familiar. "Show me."

And as he read the words written by this Semi-Phenomenal Nearly Cosmic person, his eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped.

"Where did you find this?" he asked in a whisper.

Xerxes brightened. "Xerxes do search for master name. Find "sight". Xerxes write stories too." He lowered his head in shame. "But this one better."

Mozenrath slowly closed his mouth. "This story is highly disturbing. Who would write about me. . .and Aladdin. . .and Jasmine . . ?" He shook his head, as if to dispel the images the story provided.

"Highly disturbing but highly erotic," quipped Xerxes.

"Yes." His face grew to anger as if catching himself agreeing with his familiar. "That does it, Xerxes. I'm getting rid of this infernal machine."

"What?" asked Xerxes with wide eyes. "Why?"

"This machine has warped your mind. And mine. I don't want any more of this so-called fanfiction to ever come into my castle again."

Xerxes thought quickly, wanting desperately to keep his new toy. The idea came to him in a flash. "Mozenrath jealous."

"What did you say, Xerxes?"

He would not be intimidated by his master, not on this one. "Mozenrath jealous can't write good story."

"Oh really? You think I can't write better than the hacks that think they are best-selling novelists?"

Xerxes nodded with a smile.

Mozenrath opened up the Word program on the compewtor and took a deep breath. His smile turned wicked as he glared at the white screen. "Okay, Xerxes. I'll show you who can't write a good story."

Xerxes hummed slightly to himself with victory as Mozenrath began furiously typing on the letterboard. Maybe he, master and this Semi-Phenomenal Nearly Cosmic person could work on a collaboration? The idea had merit, but how could they all get together when they didn't know each other? Maybe the compewtor had the answer? As he flew away in search of something to eat for breakfast, he found himself remembering the second chapter of "No Way Out" and wondered, if only for a moment, if there was anything he could do to make it come true.