Note: let me know if this has been done already…because I don't think it has.
I have slight writer's block with Don't Steal My Sunglasses, but I know you all love my frustration-induced oneshots. Enjoy! I got this idea after listening to "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama…DON'T listen to the song while you read this. It completely ruins it in my opinion…but you can try it.
"What is that?" Auron asked, pointing to the red substance that Rikku was in the middle of smearing over her lips; for a moment he'd mistaken it for blood. She looked up at him with a confused expression.
"It's called lipstick," she replied, giggling at his sudden ignorance. "Lulu wears it all the time, and she gave me some that she didn't want anymore."
"Cosmetics?" he said. "You should be guarding Yuna, not worrying about your appearance."
"I can multi-task," she said, taking the mirror that Lulu handed to her. Confident that her lips were a shiny red, she looked back up at him. "Plus, what's a little gloss going to do to my fighting skills? I can still kick as much butt as I want."
She glared, sticking out her tongue. "You big meanie." She waved her hand behind her. "Go be depressing somewhere else."
"Yes ma'am," Auron said sarcastically, turning to duck into the woods. Rikku handed the mirror back to the mage, scoffing.
"Ehh, just ignore him," Tidus said, lounging on the ground against a tree. "He's a grumpy old man, what else do you expect?"
"He's worried about Yuna's health, ya?" Wakka said.
"He's only worried about Yuna's health," Rikku muttered, then raised her hands in defense, giving an apologetic look to her cousin. "Not that that's a bad thing," she said, "He just keeps everyone from having any fun!"
She picked up the gold lipstick tube and looked at her distorted reflection. She saw a devilish, mischievous smile spread across her face.
"Maybe," she said slowly, her evil grin widening, "it's time he started caring about his appearance."
She unscrewed the cap and held the red stick up for all to see. Yuna's eyes widened.
"Rikku, you wouldn't!"
"Do it." Tidus's grin was almost as wide as Rikku's as he leaned forward in delightful anticipation. "Do. It."
"I'll give you one thousand gil if you do it."
"Oh," Rikku purred, "I'm gonna do it for free."
She stood quickly and turned in the direction of their eldest guardian's path, who was bound to be asleep by the time she reached him. If not, she would wait. Meanwhile, Tidus took care to hide Auron's sword behind a bush; nobody wanted a chopped-up Rikku, but after this she was pretty sure that Auron would never bug her about her awesome lip gloss again.
"Payback time," she whispered, ducking into the forest.
Two minutes later, Rikku burst through the underbrush and shot through the camp, running faster than she ever had before, her breath coming in short bursts. She looked as if she couldn't decide if she should laugh or cry; but she laughed anyway as she turned around in her sprint to see Auron charging after her, his face as red as his lips.
"I think you look pretty," she dared to say, bursting into involuntary laughter afterward. His following roar made her run ten times faster.
Okay…I'm gonna say it now…
Auron's lip gloss…is poppin!