"Childhood Fear # 139: The Muppet Show"Kermit the Frog is delicious! Even better
than that singing bird that wouldn't shut up as I
speckled it with pepper and gulped it down.
Yeah, Kermit makes for much finer dining,
and not just his legs neither. Those big, white eyes
with their frowning pupils make my mouth cry saliva.
That triangular head like an un-ripened strawberry,
a head that splits in two as he opens his mouth.
His throat is red, like a slice of meat cooked rare.
But you don't eat Kermit in slices. You're
supposed to swallow him whole. His innards
are all white meat, tender as mushroom flesh,
and I can never resist as I gobble him up, grab him
then drop him down my steamer-trunk mouth.
I always have to take a few bites, my teeth
sinking straight through his velvety body.
His skin is thin and green, much like an apple's.
Kermit doesn't crunch when I chew him
though. He just screams.
And so did I.