A/N: Well, here comes ANOTHER working fan fic! Hey, I warned you guys! You saw the artwork on devART (okay, maybe you didn't. XD Go check it out!), and now here it comes! Don't say I didn't warn you! So, I've been reading a couple of the "supernatural" EEnE fics around the site, and I decided it was my turn to give that genre a try! Don't worry, though, I'm working to develop this concept as best as I can. So, go ahead! Read on!
Chapter 1: Musing on Heroism
"Who's that masked marvel flying across the open skies? Who fights for justice, peace, and freedom for all?"
"THE FREEDOM AVENGER!" Ed happily chorused with the narrator's dramatic voice, pouring from his television set the titanic story of one of the great superheroes of yester-decade. Giddy and anxious to watch the heroic tale unfold, Ed slithered out of his armchair and onto the floor, crawling closer and nearly planting his face on the glowing screen, beaming ear to ear.
And out from the deep folds of the cushion popped his two best buddies, gasping for breath.
"For heaven's sake, Ed!" Edd protested, coughing and wheezing as Eddy disdainfully pulled out yet another cooked chicken from underneath them.
"'Bout time you moved your big butt outta the way!" he exclaimed, forcefully trying to get relatively comfortable with Edd squeezed in beside him.
This discomfort went completely disregarded by Ed, who was at this point totally enraptured with the television and detached from reality. Knowing that it wasn't worth the effort to attract his attention, his friends gave up, squished together and forced to watch the feature film in front of them.
"Geez… this movie's so lame… it's not even in color!"
"Eddy, it was made in the sixties. You have to give it a little leeway."
"Why am I even here?"
"I believe, and I quote, 'you had nothing better to do.'"
"Seriously? There had to be something else."
"That's exactly what I told you."
"Shhshush!" Ed sharply hushed him, ignoring Eddy's stuck-out green tongue and turning back to the warm glow of his beloved TV set. And there the Eds sat for a good half hour, entertained by the B-level flick on various levels, from utter enchantment to absolute apathy. Finally, when Eddy was just about to announce his boredom, the movie was drawing to a close.
"And so, with Dr. Despicable defeated and Sally Sureheart saved, the day is won, thanks to…"
"THE FREEDOM AVENGER!HOORAY!"
"Yes, 'hooray,' indeed," Edd muttered, cringing as Ed leaped at the television, hugging affectionately. "…E-Ed?"
"Mmm…" the lovable oaf hummed, slowly twirling around onto his back with a big dreamy smile on his face. "Superheroes are so cool…"
"Superheroes are overrated!" Eddy butted in, squirming his way out of the chair. "Who the heck would wanna wear their underwear on the outside, anyway?"
"I think that's beside the point, Eddy," Edd stuck in his two-cents as well, though remained sitting.
"Aww, but they get awesome superpowers and…!"
"Wait, lemme guess, and they get to save the world!" Eddy jeered with a mockingly booming voice. "They must be so famous!"
An awkward silence followed. Ed gave Eddy a vacant stare, and Edd mentally began to count.
"…hey! Famous? Yeah, famous! Loved by the masses!"
Edd frowned inwardly. A four-second delay this time? Was it just him, or was Eddy growing less intelligent over time?
"Oh, man…" At his new realization, Eddy was getting more into the present idea by the second. "Imagine all that fame and glory…"
"I know," Ed giddily agreed, jumping up to join in his subconscious bouncing of excitement.
"And all you'd have to do is wear tights!"
"There's more to it than that, gentlemen," Edd spoke up, on his feet and patting their shoulders in that condescending way. "As Ed stated before, a superhero is usually granted supernatural powers, but with those powers comes great responsibility."
"…That's not your line, Double D," Ed flatly noted.
"Okay, so it's not. But it's true in every aspect." He drew away and began a lecturing pace around the room. "It's a superhero's duty to use the powers given to him for the good of humanity, and with constant threats and enemies, it can become a dangerous occupation. Personally, such a role doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Who in their right mind would risk their life on a daily basis just to rescue some woman from a crazed psychopath?"
"Well, not you, being scared of girls."
Edd winced, biting his lip. Knowing Eddy, he walked right into that one.
"Come on, Sockhead, lighten up!" Eddy slinked up to his side, putting on a tempting grin. "Think of the things you could get away with as a superhero!"
"Yeah, yeah!" Ed reiterated with his own grin. "You could fly, or you could walk on water, or you could…"
"Well, I will admit the title of 'hero' does sound enticing, but I believe it's simply not worth the risk."
"Of course you do, Mr. Pacifier."
"…That's pacifist, Eddy."
"…could leap tall buildings, or you could stop speeding trains, or you could…"
"Whatever! You're limper than a wet noodle!"
"I am not!"
"You can't even talk to a girl!"
"That's my point! If the opposite gender proves to frighten me, how much do you think I'd enjoy a regular routine of acts of death-defying proportions?"
Eddy blanked for a second after his friend's blurted response. "…well, at least you admit it."
"…or you could shoot death rays from your eyes, or…"
"Ed, shut up." Once the dope had trailed off, Eddy continued irritably. "Come on, Double D, it's just something to think about! It's not like that's ever gonna happen to us! Would you stop being so dang critical all the time?"
Edd was taken aback, realizing the truth in his words and feeling ashamed. "Oh… Eddy, I'm…" He faced both his buddies with sincere apologies. "Guys, I'm sorry, I… I never meant to turn this into an argument, I just…" As a thought crossed his mind, he grew downhearted. "…This was supposed to be a relaxed gathering, with our homework finished and an extra hour or two to enjoy a movie together… I didn't want it to end like this again…"
"'Again?'" Eddy skeptically asked. "What're you talking about?"
Edd replied with a dismal frown. "You've noticed, haven't you? We've been arguing more and more lately and… and I'm afraid it's… tearing our friendship apart."
After a genuine pause, Ed chuckled. "Not true, Double D, you silly-billy!" he waved it off, wrapping a friendly arm around his shoulder. Edd feigned a smile, acknowledging his comfort and ignoring the stench that was causing him to tear up slightly.
Eddy sneaked in near his other shoulder, his grin returning. "Yeah, you're blowing things way outta proportion, Hamlet," he chided, thumping Edd's slender chest with his knuckles. "We're a team, remember? A lean, mean, scamming machine!"
"The Super Ed Team!" Ed added enthusiastically.
"I… I suppose you're right," Edd softly replied, filling silly at this point. "Maybe I am overreacting a little…"
"More like a lot." Eddy slapped his back hard, knocking the breath out of him, before drawing away. "Anyways, speaking of scams, make sure you guys get your beauty sleep, 'cause tomorrow we'll be working to pull off one of the greatest scams of all time!"
Edd smirked shrewdly, wondering how many times he's heard that one. "Is that so?"
"Do tell, Eddy!" Ed anxiously requested while his pal glanced at his wristwatch and sulked.
"Can't right now, I gotta get home before my mom wigs out," he groaned, already at the foot of Ed's basement stairs. "I'll give you guys the details in the morning."
"See ya, Eddy!" Ed waved goodbye as he disappeared past the doorway, throwing his own backwards wave in response.
"Well, then…" Edd began his own ascent up the staircase, giving Ed a gracious smile. "I'd best be heading home too. Thanks for the movie, Ed."
"No problem, Double D!" Ed beamed, snapping into a sloppy salute. "Remember, always fight for justice, peace, and freshly-darned socks!"
Reaching the top, Edd giggled and returned the salute, barely taking the statement seriously as he departed for home.
However, unbeknownst to the three of them, the fateful call of destiny was currently dialing, and very soon, they'd be taking the concepts of justice and heroism a heck of a lot more seriously.
A/N: Yeah, kind of a slow, short start, but things will pick up soon, I promise you. Please review in the meantime:)