Baby I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I ruined our future. One reckless night and its all over for us.

I could tell you that she didn't mean anything, that you are the only woman for me but of course you would only believe I'm feeding you lines.

You don't have to believe me when I say that I am sorry. You can be sceptical when I say I love you. No man should cheat on his partner. I hurt you and hurt myself in turn.

You never realise how special someone is until there gone and baby you have to believe you are special to me, you are the woman I plan on spending the rest of my life with.

You are my wife. You are the mother of my future children. You are my light and my redeemer.

I cant pretend that what I did was inexcusable, I should have reined myself in, the only person for me is you and I betrayed you so much so that it forced you to leave me.

I only know I want you. I have always wanted you. I love you and I will always love you.

I cant express how much I which I could rewind time and take back that night, take back those words I said, I wish I hadn't raised my hand to you. Your eyes, filled with shock and anger and pain follow me to my dreams. I had to get out of there, I cant believe what I did and I wish terribly that you had hit me too and you did.

You left.

I know you wont want the details but you may be curious about why.

That night, I had to get out. I couldn't be around the woman who I swore to protect and cherish, who I just physically hit. So I got drunk. I tried to get rid of your image. A woman came along. I was too focused on my drinking.

Next thing I knew I was in bed with her, you were crying near the bedroom door.

You broke me. My heart was crushed. I knew you would never forgive me. How could I fix what I wrecked?

Beg for your forgiveness? Spew out lies and down play what happened? Pretend it never happened?? Forget about you?

The last thought fills me with dread.

We are everything I need, everything I want. I love you. I love you so much. I cant go on without you.

Its been a year now and you still wont look my way. I got the papers today. I wont ever sign them. Anything that binds me to you, is something worth saving.

You wont take me back. I've pledged my case. So I hold this gun in my hand. It weighs lighter than my heavy heart.