The Deep End: Chapter 6
If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broke heart
"He broke it Ani. Shattered into a million pieces."
He looked up, his blue eyes meeting hers. But she was staring off somewhere, her gaze far away from him. She was beautiful when she looked like that, just beautiful.
"It's gone. It's gone." She stammered. She wasn't listening to him or she wasn't hearing him.
He ran a hand through his golden curls curiously, "Broke what, Amidala?"
From his seat on the bio bed, he watched her. She was somewhere else; her gaze was looking at something other then what was around her.
Her brunette curls spewed down her back. Despite her far out gaze, her brown eyes bore into the room. Her ivory skin glowed in the room. She was beautiful.
"Shattered into a million pieces."
He furrowed his brows, "What shattered? Amidala?"
He glanced up from his work to look at her. Then back down. "Hand me that, please?" She did as he asked. With one more modification, he closed the hatch. He raised his hand up and wiggled the fingers and then smiled, "Will you look at that? What do you think?"
She turned to him finally. Her eyes fell on the artificial hand. She touched it and realized the warmth from his hand was gone. "It's so cold."
She looked at it sadly, "It's different."
"You don't like it?"
She bit her lip, "I don't think I have a choice."
He raised his other hand to cup her cheek. She closed her eyes, bathing in his presence and his warmth, "Are you all right Amidala?"
A lose tear fell and hit his arm. He gathered her in his embrace.
She sobbed, "Oh, Ani. He broke it!"
Using his forefinger and thumb, he made her turn and face him. Then taking his thumb, he wiped away some tears, "Broke what?"
"It shattered into so many pieces…"
His eyes narrowed, "Amidala. What?"
"The pendant! The pendant -- it's gone…he broke it!"
His heart sank, "It was just a pendant. It wasn't you and it wasn't me."
"What of our good luck?"
"We don't need luck. We have each other." He leaned forward, closing the distance and kissed her long and hard. The caress of his lips against her own was like magic. The feeling was incredible. What she would do to kiss him every second of every day.
She pulled away, remembering that yes oxygen was needed to breathe, "Still, it's so horrible Ani. How could he have done something so horrible?"
"The darkside makes us do terrible things."
She reached up and ran her hand over a bruise on his clean-shaven face, "The darkside…"
He using his hand, made of flesh and blood, he cupped her chin, "Are you going to be okay?"
She turned to hug him once more; "I don't know Ani. I'm so scared."
He hugged her tightly, "Don't be. I'm right here."
"I know." She breathed out as she tightened the embrace and buried her head in his shoulder, "I know."
They sat there in silence for what seemed like hours. It was a silence of warmth and comfort, but also of fear and pain.
Finally, she turned in his embrace and looked out the window of the medic bay on the starship that they had immediately flown to. They had confiscated Bail's body and other things in the room. Anakin had led them here.
The view of the stars was beautiful. Though it was only a reminder of how far from Naboo she really was. He kissed the top of her head.
She wiped her eyes gently, "Do you think we'll ever get home Ani?"
He bent and kissed the nape of her neck, "Depends what home is."
And if I walk alone to the other side I know
I might not make it home
Indeed where was home?
Was home back on Naboo, running a chaotic order and chasing ugly eligible bachelors, rulers of planets themselves and marrying only for political reasons?
Or was home here in Anakin's arms, the one she loved so dearly and kept so close to her heart, running from system to system trying to escape a maddened Obi-wan and living a life of Jedi servitude?
Yet wasn't she a servant to her planet just as he was servant to the order?
Indeed, where was home? She did not know anymore.
Would making one a home cause her to lose the other home? Was one really worth the other? She was two different people, Amidala would chose Naboo, but Padme would chose Anakin.
The question was, which should she be -- which did she want to be?
Suddenly, Anakin's grasp around her waist tightened. Self-consciously she stiffened. Nothing had progressed between them physically yet she still felt very guilty and she couldn't figure out why.
There was a loud knock on the door.
Her brows furrowed in the dark as she turned to the man next to her.
He was a peaceful sleeper. A look of pure innocence surrounded him at night. She figured it was the only time he let his guard fall unconsciously. It was here that he still looked like the nine-year-old boy who had saved her planet from turmoil and destruction.
It was here, she figured he was the most content and possibly the most beautiful. Yet his eyes made him the handsomest of all. His eyes held the very key to his soul. His eyes were the strongest and most attractive part of him. She fell into those eyes and fell in love with his heart, before she fell in love with any other part of him.
The knock persisted.
Carefully, she ran the back of her hand down his cheek, "Ani…"
He mumbled slightly and turned onto his other side.
"Ani…" Slowly she got up and kissed his exposed neck, "Ani…"
The knock persisted.
Slowly his cerulean blue eyes were revealed to her.
"Hey," He leaned forward and kissed her.
The knock continued to persist.
She pushed at his chest, "Someone's at the door, Ani…"
Another sweet caress of his lips against her own.
Another push of his chest, she cleared her throat, "The door Ani…the door."
Irritated, she spoke, "Anakin."
He moaned, "All right, I'll get the door."
Half asleep, he stumbled to the door, "Who is it?"
He turned and looked at her confused. She shrugged. Someone had knocked. Anakin turned to go back to bed; the knock came again.
"Strange," He muttered.
He turned back and slowly opened the door, "Yeah?"
The figure turned, "I've been waiting."
"Yeah, sorry about that." Anakin ran a hand through his golden curls; "Can I help you?"
"You don't recognize me, that's strange."
And out forms this misconception we call man
But I don't know him
No, I don't know him
Because he lies
"I'm glad I found you Anakin…"
Mace glanced at Padme and then motioned for the hallway; Anakin followed.
Once in the hallway, Windu looked at him. His eyes narrowed. Anakin crossed his arms in front of his chest. His voice cracked when he spoke, "It's Obi-Wan isn't it?"
"I'm afraid so. You're going to have to leave Padme. The more you're with her, the more you endanger her."
"Obi-wan wants her…"
"He will not hurt her."
Anakin's eyes narrowed, "I can't leave her."
"You have feelings for her."
"Yes." He proclaimed strongly.
Mace Windu's brows creased in confusion, "And what of Marina?"
Anakin froze, "Marina…" His voice trailed off.
"You have forgotten? You're loyalty is to her…"
"Padme was my first love, Master." Anakin's head lowered, "To betray Padme would to betray my very self!" His eyes narrowed.
Silence followed. A thoughtful silence, a silence filled with consternation and discernment.
"Very well, then you must go tonight, Obi-wan is on his way." Windu turned to leave.
Anakin paused in thought and then turned to look at Windu, reached out and touched his arm lightly, "Master, wait…" His voice cracked, "Obi-wan…did he?"
"He did…" Windu's voice strained, "All of them."
"Force… Master, Marina?"
"She lives…" His voice choked, "In hopes you live to return to her…"
"But -- "
"Protect the Queen with your life, Knight Skywalker, get her home…love her like you've always dreamed of. Love her."
Anakin watched the shadow leave. The Jedi Masters -- gone. Soft tears trailed down his cheeks. His body slumped against the wall. The Jedi Masters -- gone. His head hit the wall with a thump, but the pain was numb to his heart. What kind of monster would have done such a thing? His heart shook and cried more then his eyes allowed. Salty tears fell down his robust chin and dropped to the ground.
He could not feel anything. What was happening?
Oh, master sweet master.
Tiny fragile arms wrapped around his waist. He turned his head and looked at her. More tears fell, slowly, using her sleeve she wiped them away before enveloping him in an embrace.
He cried on her shoulder, soaking her hair. His voice feeble and fragile vibrated through her body sobbing as his arms crushed her waist. She strengthened her grasp on him and whispered a mantra of soothing words.
The Jedi Masters -- gone.
Master, I don't know you anymore.
Where have you gone? What have you done?
Oh, sweet, sweet master.
I know that this is
Deeper than you get
They left that night.
She didn't know why.
Until a voice began to beckon to her as they ran. He was yelling in a voice that seemed so familiar but was new and unusual. He was yelling for her to join him, to make the empire complete.
The only thing she could do was grip Anakin's hand tighter and turn her back on the galaxy.
They got onboard the ship, only to feel Obi-wan's weight on the hull. The ship took off still and Anakin gathered her in a crushing embrace and firmly pressed his lips against hers.
She had little time to reciprocate, before he left.
The ship shook as she watched him launch from the ramp. She turned to scream and yell for him to stay, but it was too late.
She headed to the cockpit to find a familiar figure, "Hey dere lady!"
"Owen!" She crushed him in an embrace, she cupped his face in her hands, "Where have you been?"
He laughed, peeling her hands away from his face, "Good ol' Obi-wan shipped me outta with tha garbage…"
"Why'd he do that?"
Owen laughed, "Ya can't kill family now can ya?"
Her eyes widened, just as the shipped rocked, "Oh blast," she heard Owen mutter, "Blast…"
"F…family?" Her mind had not yet monitored the information.
The ship shook again, "Blast," he muttered.
She grabbed his arm, "Family?"
"Yah, yah," he shook his head, "Now, if only dey would stop fightin' on da hull, we could get outta here…"
Padme nearly choked, "The hull!"
Her beautiful Ani was on the hull of the ship, battling to the doom with Obi-wan. She closed her eyes as her heart screamed prayers and cried tears.
My beautiful Ani.
I love you.
I know now what shadows can see
There' s no point in running 'less you run with me
They had been dueling for sometime now.
Each fighter was equally bruised and bloodied. Continually, red clashed with blue. Anakin only having a split second each time to reach to the charging Obi-wan.
Then he heard it straight through the cores of his mind.
The words hit his mind stronger and more forceful then any of Obi-wan's blow of death. The words came clearly to him.
My beautiful Ani.
I love you.
He was stunned. Obi-wan took his chance and hit him on the back of the head with a fly box. His head snapped. Blood trickled down the side of his head now.
"You're a knight now, young Skywalker?"
Obi-Wan charged, "How did you bribe the counsel? Or was it pity?"
Anakin deflected, grunting his death in consternation, "It was nothing of the sort."
"You are wrong."
Anakin blocked another charge, grunting slightly, "I am not joined to the darkside!"
"No!" Obi-wan charged once more, pushing Anakin down, "You are joined to Padme! I loved her!"
Anakin grunted his teeth, "I love her, she loves me!"
Another box flew and hit his head. More blood spewed from a new wound. Obi-wan prepared to stab him, but Anakin quickly rolled out of the way. The blade sawed through the hull, revealing a terrified Padme and cursing Owen.
Anakin heard the mantra of Owen's words, "Oh force, oh blast…"
Padme clutched her heart with her tiny hands glancing from a bloody Anakin to an angry Obi-wan. In her eyes were glassy tears that had begun to fall down her porcelain face. Her breathing was inconsistent and incoherent.
Obi-wan saw her and reached out his hand, "Padme, come with me. Join me and we can rule the galaxy."
Padme watched Anakin's eyes narrowed.
"I love you Padme!" Obi-wan cried, "I love you so much I want to give you the galaxy!"
A trickle of his blood fell off the side of Anakin's head and through the hole, landing right in front of her. Her tear joined his blood.
She looked at Anakin, shaking her head, "My beautiful Ani…" her voice choked back a sob, "I'm sorry."
He wiped his eye and then closed it, "I know."
She closed her eyes and reached for the outstretched hand.
The last thing she heard was Obi-wan's calls as he plummeted to the ground.
If we slide over and accept fate
then it's bound to be a powerful thing
In route to Naboo, everyone was silent.
Anakin had retreated solemnly and shook away the solace of her arms. He brushed her off saying he needed time to think and meditate though she knew he would only cry.
He had killed his own Master.
Owen had advised her to tell Anakin they were approaching Naboo. She tried not to show her disappoint that she would have to depart from her love for a while and return to her obligations.
When she entered his dim quarters, he was huddle against the wall in a ball. His shoulders brought up to his chest and his arms encircling them. He looked up at her and tried to smile.
She gently placed her hand on his arm for comfort, "Hey," she breathed.
"Hey," his groggy voice responded.
"Can I sit?"
He nodded wiping away a few tears.
She leaned her head on his shoulder, but he pulled away. She twisted her head to look at him and then narrowed her eyes, "Anakin…"
His shaky hands came up to cup her face as he kissed her long and hard.
"I'm sorry Anakin, I'm sorry you had to kill him."
Anakin breathed deeply, "He's not dead."
"But he fell…"
"He's not dead…" His shaky hands left her face and landed on her shoulder, "I must leave you…"
Her eyes widened, she felt the tears, "Ani…"
"As long as I'm here I'm endangering you."
"But you'll come back to me --"
He shook his head. She was crying now…no, she was sobbing now.
Her beautiful Ani.
"Ani! No!" She wiped her eyes; "I love you!"
He leaned forward and caressed her lips with his. They lingered there before he pulled away and held her cheek in his hand, caressing it softly.
"I love you with all my heart."
"Then why --" His mouth pressed on hers once more.
"There is good in him. I can feel it."
"He is a menace!" She screamed.
"He is my master, he can be turned back, he can! I can feel the good in him."
"He's gone over the deep end, Anakin, he is no longer the Obi-wan we once knew!"
"He's my master, Amidala!"
Silence. A silence of regret and fear and anticipation.
Anakin looked away. She reached away and cupped his chin to make him look at her, "I'm sorry Ani."
He enveloped her into another embrace as he cried. She ran her hand over his back lazily as she recited a mantra of soothing words.
Once the crying had stopped, he stared at her face.
She breathed in, "Marina?"
"I must be loyal to her."
She bit her lip, anticipating this, "I know."
"You were my first love Padme – you are my only true love."
She smiled slightly, "As you are mine."
Running the back of his hand down her cheek and then turning it so he could cup her face. He stared at her memorizing every beautiful feature from her perfect nose to her passionate eyes.
She closed her eyes, memorizing his touch and then kissed his palm. A tear fell from her eye and trickled down his arm.
Her beautiful Ani.
Another tear traveled down his arm, "Kiss me goodbye, Ani."
His lips lingered on her lips for minutes. They kissed not once, not twice, but many times. The feel of his gentle lips against her own sent warm shivers through her body. When he pulled away, she reached out and wiped away a tear that had slipped from his eyes. She cried.
"Return to me, love, return to me please."
"If fate has destined us, we will meet again."
She sniffled, "I love you, my beautiful Ani, I love you with my heart and soul."
"I love you more then the galaxy can comprehend."
She sobbed, "Ani…"
"The end is not as near as it seems." He stood and then helped her up and then he repeated, "The end is not as near as it seems."
He headed for the door, but came back to her, cupping her face in his hands and kissed her. He pulled away, keeping their foreheads together, "I can't…"
He kissed her again.
"I can't force you to go…" she choked, "I can't force you to stay either…"
His lips pressed against hers once more.
"I must," he breathed pressing kisses on her face. Sweet gentle kisses on her cheeks, on her nose, on her forehead, on her eyes, "Remember, Am, to betray my love for you," He kissed her lips passionately and then pulled away, "Would be to betray my very self, to deny myself…"
She closed her eyes and he was gone.
She opened them just in time to see his shadow exit. Tears trailing down her cheeks, running from her eyes. She collapsed against the wall.
My beautiful Ani.
I love you.
Fate be nice, please.
Star-crossed lovers were we? We are heading toward the deep end Ani; I need you to keep me from falling over the edge.
My beautiful Ani, return to me please.
I beg of you fate, return my love to my heart.
I cry fate, return my sweet love, bring him back, bring him back.
Look for the sequel, "Over the Edge".