"Sometimes when new people move in, you don't know what to think of them" Arthur said "like Sue Ellen for instance…"
"Hey four eyes, who ya talking to?" Bart Simpson interrupted him.
"The readers" Arthur explained.
Bart looked forward "I don't know what you're talking about man, nobody's reading this thing."
"Do you mind, I'm trying to set up the story here" Arthur said.
"Well you're doing it all wrong man" Bart replied "if you want somebody to read this thing, you gotta give 'em what they like. I'm talking car crashes, explosions, booze and cheap dames."
"I don't think we have any of that" Arthur said.
"Well then, don't expect anybody to read it" Bart added "they'd probably rather visit a Barney website then be bored by this thing."
"Now hold on!" Arthur shouted "this story may not have the stuff you said, but it's not boring. It has humor, an evil plot, romance…"
"Still sounds like a snoozefest."
"And don't forget, you and your family are in here too"
"Oh yeah. Maybe this story won't suck rocks after all. Roll it, Johnny!"
"Who are you talking too?" Arthur asked.
"Nobody, I just always wanted to say that" Bart replied.
The Simpsons vs. Arthur
Elwood City was normally a quiet place, where very little ever happened. But very soon, it would meet a very colorful family that would change all that.
"Well kids, here we are, Elwood city" Homer Simpson proudly announced "can you believe Mr. Burns built a nuclear plant out here? And that he picked me as the supervisor?"
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't you been responsible for causing meltdowns?" Bart asked.
"Yeah, but I never blew up the city, smart guy" Homer added.
"Well I think this trip will be good for us" Marge said "we can meet new friends and immerse ourselves in new culture."
"I don't want to immerse myself in a new culture" Lisa complained "I want to live in Springfield."
"Now honey, we're all going to miss Springfield" Homer said "but look at the bright side. Daddy doesn't have any outstanding warrants here."
"I think Lis is just upset cause she had to leave her tree hugging boyfriend" Bart added.
"I'll admit that I do miss Colin, but there's more to it than that. I'll miss the educational system, and the fine cultural institutions and…oh who am I kidding! Dad, why did we have to move when I finally had happiness?"
"Because Mr. Burns put me in charge of his new nuclear plant" Homer explained "weren't you listening?"
"Whoa, I think the plant sprung a leak homeboy, cause I see mutants all over the place" Bart said, looking out the window.
"What the?" Homer asked "Marge, why are the people animals?"
"I don't know" Marge explained "maybe this is their Mardi Gras."
"This is certainly going to be one interesting trip" Lisa added.
The Simpsons soon arrived at the new home Mr. Burns had set up for them.
"Wow, it looks just like our old house" Bart said.
"Yup, Mr. Burns thought of everything" Homer replied.
They unloaded the car and their pets and were astonished to find that the inside resembled their old house as well.
"It's like looking at our house in a mirror" an awestruck Marge said.
"I'm betting the fridge is the same too" Homer said as he headed off towards the kitchen. As Marge set Maggie down on the floor, she heard him scream.
"Homer, what is it?" she asked worriedly.
"There's no beer!"
"There, there, Homey, you can just get some from the local convenience store. But first help me…"
"See ya Marge" Homer said quickly.
Marge made her angry murmur, then turned to the kids.
"First thing we need to do is get you two in school" she said "just cause we've moved to a new city doesn't mean you can forego your education."
"Well, perhaps the school here will be better funded then our last one" Lisa said "they may even have textbooks that aren't made of plastic."
"Hey, those were fun for chucking at nerds" Bart replied.
"That's the spirit! And who knows, you two might make a whole bunch of new friends" Marge said.
"I doubt it" Bart replied.
Soon Marge went to Lakewood Elementary and met with Principal Haney to discuss transferring Bart & Lisa.
"Nice to meet you Mrs. Simpson" Principal Haney said, "and may I say, you have very unique hair."
"Why thank you. And you have very unique…glasses."
"Now then, you wish to have your children Bart & Lisa attend our school?"
"Yes. I assume Principal Skinner sent over the required transcripts?"
"He did" Principal Haney said, pulling out the files "and I must say, I was remarkably surprised the size of your son's. We don't get many children like him."
"Bart's a little mischievous, but he's basically a good kid" Marge explained.
"I understand" Principal Haney replied "actually, I do happen to know a student just like that. I believe he'll get along very well with Bart. But I wanted to talk about Lisa. Her grades are quite impressive. So much so that I think the second grade would be too easy for her."
"Are you suggesting moving her up to third grade?" Marge asked.
Haney nodded "I believe Mr. Ratburn's class will offer her the kind of challenge she needs. He is one of our best teachers."
"Oh, I'm sure she'll be excited!" Marge replied "she loves challenges, especially academic ones."
"Fine" Principal Haney continued "we can start them both tomorrow. School begins at 8:00."
"They'll be there" Marge replied, then whispered under her breath, "um, you don't by any chance offer bus service, do you?"
"I'm afraid not."
"Oh. Well, at least I know they won't be taken to school by a long haired hippie who's whacked out on goofballs. Um, I'll leave now."
Arthur: So, what do you think of the story so far?
Bart: I guess it doesn't suck out loud.
Arthur: Glad to hear it. In the next chapter, you and Lisa have your first day at Lakewood and meet…well, us. Plus, you try to find a replacement for Milhouse and there's even a food fight.
Bart: Now you're talking my language. I can't wait for that.