Disclaimer: I neither own One Piece or Naruto.
Naruto and all Naruto Characters are copyrighted Masashi Kishimoto and Viz Media.
One Piece Characters are copyrighted to Eiichiro Oda, Toei animation and of course, the Funimation Corporation. (Yaaaaaaaaay!)
Don't worry! I'm already have Day or Reckoning typed out; I'm just waiting for reviews. As for now, here's a nice story for all you One Piece fans. Always know that reviews are GREATLY appreciated. Oh and BTW, I LIKE Pervy-Sage!
I Cannot Forgive You!
A Heated Duel between the Love Chef and the Hot Blooded Ninja!
"Hey, Pervy-Sage, can we stop a bit?" Naruto's labored breath hinted exhaustion which his voice expanded on as sweat crawled down his face.
"Don't be silly; if we stop, we'll sink!" Jiraiya smirked. It had been four days since they began their long hike on the ocean's surface. The Legendary Sannin explained it wasn't a chakra control exercise, rather an endurance exercise.
"Oh c'mon! We've been walking for days and I'm starting to run low on chakra." The blond haired boy rubbed his stomach as it growled painfully.
"Well, if you want, I've always got another soldier pill…" The boy's blue eyes lit up in desperation.
"Uh…uh! No way! That stuff tastes like chalk!" His hands waved to ensure the message was sent out. The white haired sage bellowed.
"Ha ha! I'm just kidding. No, the place where we're eating is somewhere around here." The Sannin took out a map from his pocket showing a large colorful, though cartoon-like, map.
"Hmm, maybe…no, that's not it. What if…?"
"Pervy-Sage! Is that it?" Naruto pointed to a large floating restaurant. There in the midday sun, was a ship boat that held the sign, "BARATIE."
"Oh boy! I bet they have all sorts of Ramen there, Dattebayo!" As Naruto ran to the restaurant in the distance, Jiraiya slapped his face. I walk all this way here and he STILL wants ramen. Hah, I guess it can't be helped.
As they entered through the large wooden doors, the sweet perfume of food hit their noses. All around buttered lobster, thick juicy steak, cut roasted lamb and fresh salmon was being served. The waiters were all dressed as chefs as the customers had on their finest suits and dresses. Somewhere around violin music filled the air and a lit chandelier with sparkling diamonds.
"Welcome," came a cook. "Table for two, I presume?"
"You bet!" As both were walked to their tables and seated on a fine linen table with sparkling glassware, the waiter asked, "What will it be?"
"I take any ramen you got, dattebayo!" The waiter looked at him curiously.
"Excuse me?" Jiraiya raised his hand.
"Don't mind him; he's just a little homesick that's all. We'll take the filet mignon, medium rare and the roasted pork."
"But of course, sir." As the waiter left, Naruto immediately asked
"Hey, Pervy-Sage. Why did this guy act like he didn't know what ramen was?"
"Because he doesn't." The blue innocent eyes suddenly turned blank.
"This is the East Blue Sea; they don't know ramen. Besides, you can have ramen any day. This is a fancy restaurant. Enjoy it!" The genin scoffed as he turned his head.
Shortly the filet mignon and the pork arrived on the table as the Sannin rubbed his hands and dug in. The boy, however, refused to touch the food. Behind him, Jiraiya heard a deep baritone voice.
"More wine, my dear?" He turned to find a waiter, unlike the others, wearing a black suit and a top of neatly combed blond hair.
"Oh, of course," the young women giggled as the red wine poured into her glass, something her husband didn't take too kindly.
"Anything for you. For your beauty surpasses the sun, the moon and the very stars themselves." The husband gripped his napkin with utter frustration. Jiraiya turned back to the young ninja.
"C'mon, Naruto. This place isn't cheap. Eat up!" The blond haired ninja turned his hair and said, "No."
"This is Filet Mignon! Give it a taste."
"It probably isn't that good anyway." The waiter behind them stopped in motion.
"I mean, if it ain't ramen, it ain't good."
"Could you excuse me a moment, dear?" The black suited waiter came around and grabbed Naruto by the neck.
"What did you say, boy?" From the moment he held his suit, Naruto noticed his pencil drawn eyebrow and the fume of a cigarette blowing in his face.
"You heard me! This food stinks!"
"Teme! You don't like my cooking? Why don't you try it first and then criticize it?" The white haired sage poured himself a glass of red wine and sighed.
"Naruto, these guys aren't lightweights. Apologize to the poor chef and try the food." The blond haired boy gritted his teeth.
"No way! I'm not trying his food, no matter what! I eat what I want, and I want ramen, Dattebayo!" The waiter took a long drag from his cigarette as customer and waiter alike stared at the unfolding scene.
"S-Sanji! Don't anger the customer. Remember what happened last time!" The pleading waiter was met with a swift knee in the head.
"I'll tell you again, boy. Eat my food."
"Make me!" Naruto made a cross with his fingers. "Kage Bushin no Jutsu!" There the dining floor was filled with doppelgangers all with their fists clenched.
Running low on chakra, my eye, Jiraiya thought as he took a long sip from his wine glass, there must be at least 30 clones here.
The clones charged all at once as the chef leapt on his hands and delivered a succession of kicks to take out 3 clones. He spun and twirled around hitting two clones. As several clones leapt at him, he got on his hands and spun his legs, spread, taking out all the attackers. The rest of the clones charged as he took them out with knees, pivots, stomps and upper kicks. As the clones poofed out of existence, the young ninja smirked.
"Hah! I know your strategy, Dattebayo! You just use your legs, not your arms! What's the point of fighting if you aren't going to use everything in your arsenal?" The black-suited man took a long drag from his cigarette and blew smoke out of his teeth.
"A chef doesn't dirty his hands unless he is cooking." The genin pointed at him.
"You're an idiot and I can prove it, Dattebayo!" He made more shadow clones and charged with them. The cook lifted his leg and made several kicks dispersing the clones as Naruto fell back.
"Poi Trine!" A sharp foot in the chest stabbed the Maverick.
"Salle!" The leg once in his chest circled into his lower back.
"Gigot!" The man tripped him sending him suspended in mid air.
"Quasi! Epaule! Collier!" In all directions, Naruto felt an assault to his back, shoulder and finally his neck.
"Cotelette!" He slid backwards as the heel planted on his chest.
"Oh yeah! How about this!" He bit his thumb and made a fury of hand signs. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" After planting his hand on the floor, the smoke arose to find, Gamabuta…..'s son, Gamakichi.
"Hey! What's the big deal, you idiot?" The ninja stuttered in shock as he asked, "What happened to your father?!"
"Not enough chakra, I guess." The tiny toad responded as he stuck his tongue in some fried rice. "Not bad, have you tried-"
"Arrrrrrrgh!" Naruto bit his thumb once more as he made the fury of hand signs. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" After planting his palm once more, the smoke dispersed to find the yellow toad, Gamatatsu.
"Hey, Naruto! What's happening?" The yellow toad's nativity and lack of battle experience was famous in the toad family.
"Boy, you really stink at this." Gamakichi couldn't help keep chewing the fried rice.
"Okay one more-"Naruto had noticed that all fell silent for a moment. The people stared at the side lines as the cook made several back flips and rocketed his heel straight for him.
"Mutton shot." The genin was sent flying to as Jiraiya lifted his wine glass to avoid him. He sipped the glass as a giant crash came from the other side of the restaurant, into a table.
"Hmm. Not bad. 197…6?
"'77, sir" the black suited man responded. The blond haired boy emerged from the crash of tables as he and his clone held a perfect spiraling ball.
"How about this? Rasengan!" Both of them charged as the chef, tripped the clone, planted his hands and circled hitting the original's neck. He was sent flying as the ball scratched and exploded the wall, revealing the sea. Naruto landed on the ocean, wiping the blood from his mouth as he stood on the water.
The chef threw his worn out cigarette on the child's head as he batted it off before it caught fire. He lit another one and took a long drag.
"I don't know how you did those things, but frankly, anyone who insults my cooking shall be punished.
The boy yelled in anger as he charged throwing a fist. His opponent circled around him and yelled,
"Anti-Manner Kick Course!" The ninja was sent flying up to the roof, crashing into it and falling down.
"Alright. You want to get serious?" A red aura formed around him. "Then I'll get-"His hand was grabbed. The turned around to see the Sannin staring at him.
"If you use that here, not only will I abandon you in this restaurant, but I'll abandon you as an apprentice." The boy took a deep breath, releasing his chakra.
"But then, how am I supposed to beat him?" The toad sage shook his head and sighed.
"Think about it. There's one technique you haven't used. What is it?"
"I don't have anything against you," the chef said taking out his vest. "But I need to punish this boy." His blue eyes lit up.
As the kick would've easily smashed his skull, the boy turned into…a naked woman. "Henge no Jutsu!" The kick stopped in mid air as the once fearsome chef…was reduced into a babbling idiot.
"Mellorine! Mellorine! Mellorine!" The chef immediately pulled out a chair, an undamaged table and took the wine glass (from Jiraiya) and asked, "Is there anything you need my dear?" The girl giggled so hard that she lost control of the jutsu.
"No, I'm good." The love lusted expression stopped as the blond haired man set to strike him with his leg only to be blocked by Jiraiya.
"Look, old man. I don't know who you are but-"
"IDIOT!" The blond haired cook received a kick to the head so hard that it sent him flying to the other side of the restaurant. There a pegged leg stood frozen in the air as a man with a ridiculously curled mustache yelled, "Are you trying to scare customers away?"
"Ah, Zeff." The white haired Sannin dusted off his suit and put his hand out. "It's been a while."
"Jiraiya? Haven't seen you in a while." The shorter chef shook his hand gently with the Sage. "Hey, haven't I seen that kid before?" His hand pointed directly at Naruto.
"Don't mind that, it's just a slight resemblance. Anyway, sorry about the restaurant." The Sannin reached into his pocket and pulled out a crisp stack of fresh bills.
"I think this should be more than enough." The chef swiped the bills and eyed them closely, sometimes putting them through the sunlight.
"Sorry, we only take Beli." The old hermit nearly gagged.
"Beli?! That's a 1000 ryo you got there, that should be more than enough!"
"We converted a long time ago. Look, are you going to pay or should I make this an outdoor restaurant?" The men eyed each other ever so carefully until….
No one considered washing dishes fun but it did pay the bill.
"Here comes another load." The elder said as a tower of dishes nearly collapsed on them.
"This is got to be the 500th dish I've washed, Dattebayo!" He pulled his soaked hands out of the dishwater and crossed his fingers. "I know a shorter way, Kage Bu-"The White haired man swatted his hand away.
"No. You're going to do this the old fashioned way."
"C'mon Pervy Sage. Just this once, I'll-"
"Did you learn nothing from that fight?" Naruto shut his mouth silent. "You don't think I can't skip out on this bill. You don't think I could've easily summoned a toad and ran away?" Naruto stood silent as his mentor scrubbed the dish.
"I'm an honorable Shinobi and I discipline myself. I set handicaps for myself and accomplish them. And that boy…" His blue eyes widened.
"That boy is a pinnacle of discipline. By using only his legs he has mastered what Taijutsu haven't."
"But, Pervy-Sage! If you only train your legs constantly then your arms will get weak and vulnerable!"
"That's where you're wrong." Jiraiya passed the dish to Naruto who stacked it on the counter.
"True he's training his legs for combat but he's training his arms for cooking. To grill, bake, cut, carve, dice, fry one needs to constantly train those hands to be great. And then there's you." They boy blinked his eyes.
"You didn't even restrain yourself. Tell me, did you forget where you were? What would have happened to the people if you summoned Gamabuta?"
"B-But Pervy-Sage! You told me to rely on the Kyuubi's chakra."
"I told you to learn how to use its power not change your name to Jinchuuriki!" Naruto lowered his head. The Sannin sighed.
"Look Naruto. Just relying on that fox's power won't get Sasuke back. Don't forget, your normal chakra is pretty big too. I'll make you stronger." The blond haired boy looked up and pumped his fist.
"You bet I will, Dattebayo!" Just then the kitchen door burst open as the cigarette smoking man emerged out with a covered plate. The smoke followed him as he laid the plate on the counter.
"Zeff says you can go. You've done enough work and here's a little compensation." He opened the plate as there was a steaming bowl of fried rice.
"Don't worry about payment. You've already done that." Jiraiya took a spoon and growled with pleasure as the food hit his tongue.
"Would you like to try, Naruto?" His voiced egged him on to try it. The boy still scowled as the spoon was handed to him. Then as all the chefs, the smoker and the Sannin stared at him, his stomach growled. A thought had occurred to him. He hadn't eaten once during their arrival. The boy try to resist his stomach but eventually lost the battle.
"Give me that!" The genin now with the fork in his hand stared down the rice. With bits of peas and diced carrot, chunks of chicken and egg, he dug in, put the spoon in his mouth, and…cried.
"This food's delicious, Dattebayo!" Almost instantly, the young ninja began to gobble down the food as he pounded his chest to avoid choking.
"So?" The cook asked as he took a drag from his cigarette.
"So munch munch what?"
"Is it better than this 'ramen'?" the blue eyed boy stopped as the whole restaurant staff leaned in.
"No, but it's still pretty good." The chef gasped with horror and just slumped down with disappointment as all of the restaurant fell over in shock.
Sigh Some things never change, thought Jiraiya.