Summary: ficlet about Toki and Raoh - "What have you done, Raoh? You should have taken my life, but instead, you took away my reason for living."
Pairing: none
Spoilers: takes place after episode 71 of the TV series
Disclaimer: Hokuto no Ken is the creation of by Tetsuo Hara and Buronson. This is a not-for-profit fanwork and I do not own any of these characters.


Otoko no Namida Wa Ichido Dake
"Why do you cry, Raoh?"

When we were young, I cried a lot. I was too much like our mother, too soft and sensitive for this harsh world. That's why you protected me. Because I was the weak one, so you… you had to be strong.

That's why I can't stand the sight of tears streaming down your face. The great Raoh… noble, fearsome Raoh… my nii-san… shouldn't ever cry. Especially not for me.

"I pity you, Toki. From a young age, you've never stopped following me. You've lived a merciless destiny, Otouto."

I know you pity me. But I don't want your pity.

You're wrong, anyway. I didn't follow you because of destiny. I followed you because you're my nii-san. Because I wanted to be strong, for you. Because I wanted to be strong like you. Because… I had made a promise to you – if ever you should take the wrong path, I would be the one to seal your fist. That's why I strove to surpass you. Because that was my duty… my privilege. The only thing I could do for you, Nii-san.

But I failed. And so I broke my promise to you. That's why you shouldn't feel sorry for me. If anything, I pity you. Who will stop you now?

I would've died soon anyway. It was inevitable even before I came to face you, here in this crumbling wasteland before our parents' graves. The Death Star has shone above me for a long time.

I had planned for this to be my last act of love. To shoulder your sins with you as we both went to hell.

I've failed so badly.

You shouldn't have spared me. But I think you'd say you didn't. When you drove your fist into the ground inches away from my head, you killed the part of me that had followed in your footsteps. The part of me that had wanted to be like you. You thought you were freeing me from my obligations to you, so that I could live out my final days free of your shadow…

How selfish of you. You never even asked me if that was what I wanted.

For what really had died today was the part of our hearts that bound us as brothers. You left me with nothing except the illness that is consuming me from within. What have you done, Raoh? You should have taken my life, but instead, you took away my reason for living.

"Cry if you like. I won't scold you anymore."

And I lay helplessly on my back on the cold hard ground and did just that, the tears leaking out to mingle with the blood that had been shed. Because it wasn't just me who had died this day. You killed yourself as well.


OWARI

Author's Notes:
- Title translates to "A Man Sheds His Tears Only Once." Everything in italics are actual lines uttered by Raoh or Toki during episode 72, which is also where I got the title from.
- Re: Toki saying he needed to "seal Raoh's fist." In their school of martial arts, Hokuto Shinken, there can be only one successor. Since Raoh, Toki, and Kenshiro (and Jagi, though he's not really counted) all trained to be the successor, the three who failed to make it would have their fists sealed - either by having their memories wiped, their hands broken, or being killed (not mentioned, but obviously also a solution). Ironically Toki was originally chosen to be the successor... but he saved Ken's life by sealing the door to a nuclear fallout shelter with his own body, and the radiation poisoning weakened him to the point that he could no longer succeed. So Ken, the youngest of the quartet, became the next successor. But because their master died of a heart attack while fighting Raoh and trying to seal his fist, none of them got sealed.