I have all these fics to upload now that ffn.net is back up! Sooo much wooooork. Ah well.
Now that it's back my other series will continue and I'll finally get the Mishiro up that was requested! ^^'
I just wrote this one, so I'm uploading it first. Makes no sense, but ah well! XD
Anywho. It's a depressing fic about Mimi. You find out who the guy she is talking
about is at the end. As usual, I own nothing.
I should note that the song lyrics at the beginning of the fic are from
"Dusty Dolls" by Paz Lenchantin. Don't sue me. Yee.
close your paper lashes tighly,
go to sleep my, dusty dolls
i'm a teenager now, i've got to put you down
cause i'm a teenager, lipstick smeared
it's my turn now, to sing you all to sleep"
Her bedroom was the only place she could ever think anymore. Every day she would come home from
school, fake smile plastered upon her face. She'd survive dinner then retreat to her personal sanctuary.
Each day, every trip to her room, she would think about the past. She was sick of being stuck in the
present, and to her there was no future. Atleast not one she wanted. She had been in America for 4
years now, and hated every day of it. Sure, at first it had been alright, she had Michael to hang around
with, but now he was gone. It had been about a year now since he had moved, his new home in San
Diego, California. They had kept in touch at first, but slowly his responses just depleted, until she got
none. Mimi was already used to being forgotten like that though, the same thing had happened with
her childhood friends in Japan. Her visits became less frequent at first, her last one was a little over 1
1/2 years ago. Then the amount of emails and letters she received soon followed suit. She had tried to
hide the fact that this hurt her, and she had succeeded at doing so. No one had a clue at all that she
was unhappy. Well, there was one person that knew. He was the only one who kept writing to her after
everyone else had moved on without her. It bewildered Mimi every time she thought about it, how he
of all people was the one who kept in touch. She had expected Sora or Miyako to be the 'fare weather
friend', but they were the first ones to forget about her. Maybe this was what hurt her the most. The
fact that the boy who she figured could care less about her would contact her more than those who she
considered her very best friends. Mimi always thought she was a good judge of character, but
obviously she was wrong if she picked people like that to be her friends. It's all been done now though, she
couldn't change how this had all turned out, all she can do now is cherish the one friend she had left.
She truely was thankful for him, because he was all that kept her going. She turned to him when she
wanted to reminisce, when she needed to release the anger she had buried inside about the way the
other students treated her, or when she just wanted to talk to someone. He was all she needed now,
and yet she couldn't tell him that. She told him everything else, he knew her almost as well as she knew
herself, but she could never work up the nerve to tell him what he meant to her. What he truely meant.
She thanked him all the time for being her only friend, but he was so much more than that. It drove her
insane that she felt this way, and that she couldn't tell him. That's what Mimi was sitting in her room to
think about this time. She knew she couldn't have him. Not just because someone else already did, but
because she knew he didn't love her. Not in the way she wanted atleast. She wished she was still a
child, naive, pure, and above all, happy. She was sick of having to act grown up, she wanted to be
able to jump in puddles and play dress up with her mother's clothes. Mimi sighed again and tossed the
pillow aside, quickly getting up from her bed. She flicked on the light switch and headed for her closet.
She dug around under clothes for a few minutes, until pulling a large stuffed rabbit out. Mimi hugged it
to her chest then went to sit at her computer. The pink rabbit falling into her lap, she logged into her
email account, and quickly started typing. 10 minutes later, Mimi hit the "send" button and sat down on
her bed, once again holding onto the rabbit tightly. She had told him everything she needed to say
and how she knew she could rest peacefully. For a second she felt like a child again, and let a mournful
sounding giggle escape her lips. Mimi switched the light off again, then lay back on her bed. After
staring out into the darkness for a moment, she reached over into the dresser on her right and
rummaged through it. Finally she pulled out the exacto knife she used in art class. She rolled back over onto
her side and curled up into a ball, staring at the utensil in her hand. She took a deep breath and
brought the cold metal across her wrists. The pain didn't seem to exist to her, because it was nothing like the
pain she had been feeling for the past few years. She could feel the life draining out of her body, and
she gripped the stuffed rabbit tightly, holding it against her chest. The blackness of her room started to
become a different sort of blackness, and her eyes became heavy. "Now I can be a child forever..." she
whispered and closed her eyes, then slipped away..
The moon sent a small sliver of light into the young man's window. He hadn't been able to sleep, he couldn't
explain why, but the whole day he had felt like something was...off. Letting out a heavy sigh he sat
down at his computer and opened up his browser window. He blinked at the screen a few times. "An
email from Mimi? I just talked to her a few hours ago..." his eyes glazed over with worry as he clicked
the link. The boy's fingers tapped the wooden desk impatiently while he waited for the page to load.
"Finally..." his eyes started to scan the message. Once, twice, then a third and final time. The boy
stared at the screen with wide eyes that were slowing filling with tears. "Dammit! DAMN HER! This is some
kind of joke! Is has to be! Why would she do that?! WHY IN THE HELL WOULD SHE BE SO
STUPID?! DAMN HER! Damn her..." his voice went from a scream to being barely audible and he collapsed
onto the ground, his loud sobbing echoing through out his room. A light flicked on in the hallway and
his door flew open. "Onii-san? What is it? What's happened?" The pair of hands on his shoulders did
nothing to stop the boy's sobs, "Mi..." was all that came out. The boy's sibling looked up at the .
computer screen and squinted to read what was on it..
I have to make this short, I have something to do soon. I just wanted to thank you. For everything. You
are my best friend, and I have to say, something more. To me atleast... You mean the world to me and
I'll never forget you. I just... I can't do this anymore. You understand, don't you? It's all too hard. I
just need to escape from it all, I can be a child again. Forever even. I hope I get a cute little pair of
wings too. Then I can fly around and watch over you. You have to understand this is what's best, I
can finally be happy again. I have no other options the way I see it... I guess that's all I can really say
to you, isn't it? Please don't forget me, you haven't yet, don't do it now, if you ended up just like
everyone else, I don't know what I could do to be happy.. this would all be in vain. But, I know you
aren't like them, so why am I even being stupid? I'm sorry for doubting you. I'm sure I'll see you
again soon, and sometime in the future, we'll be able to talk again, all night long, just like usual. I love
you... live a happy life, for me. Alright?
"Oh...Mimi...." the younger teen turned back to their older brother, wrapping their arms around his
shoulders. "Yamato... " was all he could say to try and quiet his sobs.
Thankye for reading. I hope it was good, I haven't written in awhile, I might be rusty! -_-' Anywhoosit! As
usual, reviews make me a happy, happy girl! I'll get to work on uploading and finishing my other projects.
xoxo; Amie "Touma no Miko"