Disclaimer: I don't, have never and will never, hold any claim over the Transformers franchise. All writings hereonin, apart from my Author Notes, are merely for my own amusement and are not intended in any way to make money or break copyright laws.

Author Note: At the time of writing this first chapter, there are no explicit pairings in mind. There will most likely be chapters focussing on the Starscream of the past and his relationship with Skyfire, but I am not much of a mecha!love fan XP. The rating is mostly for themes that I'm not sure about presenting to a young audience.

Other Author Note: This first chapter will probably be rather confusing. Bear with me, it's meant to be disjointed so that it doesn't give away the plot. As the plot goes, it's specifically not AU. Most information of note is taken from either Transformers G1 (before the 1986 movie) or Beast Wars (if only because I've not yet watched any of the other series).

Last Author Note: I am very much a Starscream fan, one of those "love to love" him rather than a "love to hate" him. As such, this fanfic will lean in his favour.


Again, it's going on again. Why do they jeer? I am just like them. Just like them. Just the same as them. Why do they call me such names? Do I hurt them like they hurt me, then?

Why do they call me insane?

Why do they leave me when I call out to them? Don't leave me. Don't. All alone, here, don't leave me. I... I want to be with you. I want to be friends with you too. I want to speak with you. I want you to laugh with me. Not at me. I want to be loved. Don't leave me all alone.

He doesn't.

Who is he? He's just another person. He's just another one of them. But he doesn't leave. Primus, he's tall. He's still there? Yes, he's still there. He's studying. Science, like me.

Oh. He's laughing at me too. No. No he isn't. Wait. He's smiling. It's not cruel. Bubbles of warmth. This is happy. I'm happy. Yes, happy.

I got pushed down again. It was... who was it? Don't know. Don't care. Another nameless face. They're all the same. I'm not like them. Not at all. That's why they jeer. That's why they kick me. Kick, kick, kick. Dents are nothing. Nothing I haven't had before. Dents can be straightened out again. Kick. Kick away. Kick your life away.

Now he's there. Now... now my friend is there. He's there. He's protecting me. He's between me and them. He's stopping them. He's shouting at them. I can smile now. I can be happy now. He's protecting me. I'm not insane when he's protecting me.



What was it? Who is this? Everything fades. I was happy. I had happiness. I had contentment. What happened? Where is it? What happens in the void? This inky black swallows me. It engulfs my memory. It takes him from me. Where is everyone?

Where is my happiness? It's all gone. My warm feeling. Gone. Gone, gone, gone, like it said it wouldn't be. Where is it? I want it. I want my warmth. I want to be secure. I want my confidence. Where is he? His name? What was his name? Primus, he was so tall. Where is Tall gone?

There's metal. So much metal. Buzz. Is that the metal buzzing? Wait. I'm metal. Is that me buzzing? Buzz. Buzz. I'm not insane. Buzz. Screech. It's screeching. That's not healthy. What is screeching? Someone must be injured. Horrible noise. Someone must be injured. Badly. Injured. Blackness.



It's me. I'm injured. I'm buzzing and screeching and injured. Broken. I'm broken. That metal is my metal... Black. Inky darkness. I don't remember.


Pain. There's pain. Everywhere. Make it stop. Please make it stop. Make it go away. Someone, please, someone. Take it all away. Take it out of me. Don't let me stay here. I hate pain.

Terrible pain.

I want to cry out. Help me. Help me, I want to cry out, where is my voice? It feels... it feels like I am being torn in two. Like my essence is being ripped apart. Like my very spark is being split. Help me. Don't leave me. Help me. I don't want to die. Don't let me die.

It feels like my spark is being ripped in two...