-dodges weapons- I-I know you're angry. D: GOMEN NE!! -acts like the innkeeper from Fruits Basket- GOMENNN!
Itachi was leaning over the girl he saved. 'Why the hell did I save her? Uchiha Itachi feels pity for no one.'
The girl's eyes were slowly opening and she let out a cough. "W-where a-am I?" She managed to stutter out weakly in her angelic voice as she sat upright. She looked around the room and saw the fine soft silk she was on.
And it just so happened that Hidan was passing by Itachi's room and so he walked in. He whistled to Hinata, "Hey sexy, wanna fuck like rabbits in my room?" And also, Hidan failed to notice that Hinata didn't have legs.
Then a hard fist hit him on the head leaving a giant red bump, and so Hidan turned his head around and saw Itachi with a vein protruding from his forehead. "ITAIII! Oh hey, it's you Itachi. And all these years I thought you were gay-"
Then Itachi glared at Hidan and left yet another bump on his head. "Gah!"
"Okay okay, I was just leaving, but before I leave," Hidan winked at Hinata, "My bed's always open for hotties like you."
And then Hidan quickly closed the door before his skull had a kunai through it.
Hinata looked so confused, then her eyes widened as tears streamed down her face, "K-kaa-san!"
"She escaped after I saved you." And Itachi left out the part of Hikari attacking him and kidnapping her against her mother's consent. It's just that... She intrigued him, and Itachi Uchiha always gets what he wants.
Hinata sighed in relief and smiled a bit, "A-arigato f-for saving me." She blushed and looked up at him from her bangs. "A-ano... A-arigato for l-letting me st-stay h-here, but I have t-to go back to th-the ocean." Then she tried to flop off of the silk bed but ended up on the floor. It sucked having flippers on land.
Then she looked up at him pleadingly while he looked down on her. "You must be hungry."
Then Itachi swept Hinata off her... tail and carried her bridal style through the dark hallways and into a kitchen.
"I-I suppose I could eat b-before I leave," Hinata said.
'Too bad you're not leaving.'
When Itachi got to the kitchen, he set Hinata on the counter and started to make beef ramen for himself and Hinata.
Hinata was staring at the poor fish in the fish tank that were swimming to her side of the tank and it appeared that she was having a conversation with the fish as Kisame walked into the kitchen.
"Hey Itachi, I smelled ramen- HINATA?! Is that you?!"
Hinata turned around to see her childhood friend Kisame. "Kisame-chan!"
Then Kisame ran over to Hinata and picked her up in a fierce hug and cried waterfalls of anime tears onto Hinata's bare shoulder, "-SOB- I haven't seen you in YEARS Hinata! -SOB-"
Hinata patted Kisame's back comfortingly. "Let it all out Kisame-chan, let it all out. Even though it's only been two years." She muttered the last part to herself.
When Kisame was done with his manly sobbing, he looked up at Hinata and asked, "So what are you doing at my hideout?"
"Well, Kaa-san got caught by some drunk fishermen and so I... kinda tried to save her, but I wasn't used to being above the surface for so long so I fainted and... ano," Hinata then turned her head to Itachi, "E-etto, he saved me."
"EH?! Uchiha Itachi has a heart?!" Kisame exclaimed and pointed a finger at Itachi while using his other arm to carry Hinata. Then Itachi glared at Kisame.
"Oh yeah, so what happened to Hikaru?" Kisame asked and brushed off Itachi's glare.
"Uchiha-san said Kaa-san escaped after I fainted."
"If she escaped, then he probably killed all those fishermen, and if she escaped, then she could have took you to your lair," Kisame explained logically while Hinata stared at a seething Itachi.
"Sometimes you don't know when to shut your mouth Kisame-chan," Itachi spat mockingly.
"Well Itachi? Have any explanation to my logical theory?" Kisame asked smartly.
While Itachi was burning holes into Kisame's eyes, Hinata waved her arms around frantically, "I-it's alright U-uchiha-san!"
"Lets eat." Itachi dropped the whole conversation, but was still glaring Kisame down while getting the ramen bowls and putting them on the table.
Hinata just kind of sat and stared at her ramen bowl while Itachi was eating his slowly and while Kisame was making his own.
Itachi noticed that she wasn't eating anything and looked up at her and she met his gaze.
"Is there something wrong with my cooking?"
"Iie! I-it's just that..."
"OH! That's right..." Kisame overheard their conversation and opened the fridge and threw Hinata a bag of fresh unfrozen shellfish.
"Arigato Kisame-chan!" Hinata gave a cheeky smile to Kisame.
Then Hinata started opened the shells with a nice CRACK! And ate the gooey insides without any problem and Hinata and Kisame showed no sign of disgust while Itachi couldn't bare to look, so he stared down at his ramen and ate.
Then Kisame sat down at the table by Hinata's side and wolfed down his fish ramen.
Kisame and Hinata finished around the same time so Hinata said, "Arigato for your hospitality, but I must leave, 'Kaa-san is waiting. E-etto, Kisame-chan, can you help me get there... I-I kinda can't move on land..."
"Sure! Anything for Hinata-chan!" Kisame exclaimed and swooped her up into his arms while Itachi just watched.
'I can't just let her leave, I've gone through all this trouble, and she lingered in my dreams for 5 years. Or can I? It's never good to be attached to anyone.'
Just then, Deidara walked into the kitchen and said, "Hey, I sensed an unfamiliar aura- NANI?! Kisame has a girlfriend?!"
"E-etto, I'm n-not Kisame-chan's g-girlfriend," Hinata blushed.
"Oh. Well she's quite a catch! (No pun intended) ((Actually, then pun was intended, kukuku.))" Deidara exclaimed.
Kisame muttered under his breath, "Baka."
"Anyway Deidara, she's just an old childhood friend."
Then suddenly a flurry of paper origami flowers whipped around the room and then came together to form a woman with blue hair and a flower in her hair. Hinata stared at her, mesmerized, while the three other Akatsuki members stared, obviously uninterested.
"Dammit Konan! You gave me a paper cut this time!" Shouted Deidara.
"Jeez Konan, why do you do that every single time you enter a room?! Why can't you just walk into the door like the rest of us?!" Kisame exclaimed.
Konan noticed Hinata staring fondly at her. "Hey, at least someone appreciates my jutsu!"
"Anyways, Pein-sama called for Itachi and the little mermaid to come to his room."
Then Konan dissipated into the same flurry of paper flowers.
"Dammit! She did it again!" Deidara yelled while clutching his finger.
A/N: Kukuku. What will happen?! Even I don't know! Now I shall go update School Life and Gakuen Jutsu. Toodles.