A/N: Hola! This is my first parody. Be nice.
Summery: Sara is speaking text language, Warrick is gay, Nick is high and Greg is… Greg. Oh! And Catherin is slowly becoming insane… With special gust appearances from Kelp (Keppler) and the Sunglasses of Justice.
Catherin walked into the break room, and something weird was happening.
"OMG! It's Cath!" Scram Sara.
Greg blushed and fell to the ground, Nick yelled "Awesome!" and Warrick said "Oh my god, girl, wanna go get our nails done?" while starring adoringly at Nick.
"What's going on here?" asked Catherin, cautiously stepping into the break room.
"Whatdoyoumeenwhatgoingonher?Notingisgoingonhere!" said Nick.
"IDK…" said Sara, texting something on here phone.
"Nick looks uber cute in those cowboy boots…" Warrick said, ignoring Catherin.
"Okay, Nick, what are you on?" said Catherin.
"Pretty lady…" said Greg, trying to get hold of a strand of Catherin's hair.
"And Sara, who are you texting?" asked Cath, as Sara's fingers moved like lightning across the key board of her Blackberry.
"IDK, my BFF, Jill?"
"I thought I was your BFF!" said Warrick, going off to cry in a broom cupboard somewhere.
"TTYL…" said Sara.
"Oh noooo, you aren't going any where." Said Catherin, grabbing hold of Sara's retreating back.
"WAAAAA!" cried Sara.
Suddenly the lights went out.
"AHHHHHH! FIRE!" scram Nick. "Stopdroprolestpodroprole…."
"Hold me!" said Warrick, jumping into Nick's arms. (Don't ask how Warrick re-appeared.)
"Pile up!" screamed Greg, pulling Sara down with him. They started making out.
"Weeeeee!" said Nick, who was riding on Warrick's back. "Faster, my stead!
"Any thing, my lovely!" said Warrick, who, even though Nick was on his back, was still managing to give him adoring looks.
The only light in the whole building, as it was night, (Or was it?) was Sara's glowing cell phone screen. The cell phone in question was lying, unaccompanied, as she and Greg where still making out.
"I am Keppler, hear me roar!" said a voice from out of the darkness.
"OHMYGOD! IT"SKELP!" yelled Nick from atop of Warrick's back.
"AHHHHHH!" said Greg, whom had finally come up for air. He wasted no time, however, because, five seconds later, Greg and Sara where again connected at the lips.
Unfortunately, a rubber band, which Sara had thrown, which was meant for Nick, but hit Warrick instead, but bounced off of his 'fro and across the room hit Keppler in the eye. He died that night, no one cared.
Every one starred at Sara. Sara looked back at them. This starring contest went on for quite a while.
"W?" (What?) said Sara. At this, the world seemed to go back to revolving, and the previous chaos of the room returned. Sara went back to kissing Greg, Nick began his drunken chatter, and Catherin, whom was slowly going crazy huddled up in a corner, began mumbling again.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" scram Cath, for no apparent reason, other than the fact that she had gone completely insane.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" scram Sara for a full minute, not to be out done.
This began an all-out screaming contest between the two female CSI's.
"Gosaragosaragosara!" said Nick, while he swung from the rafters.
"You go, girl!" said Warrick, always one to take Nick's side. "Show that two-faced hussy what us CSI's are made of!" (Damn, that felt good…)
The whole team began a chant of "Let's go, Sara, let's go!" Greg joined in a little later, as he was morning the loss of Sara's lips.
"Will no-one support me in my time of need?!" asked Catherin, in between screams.
"I will, my lovely!" said a voice, out of the darkness.
"Horatio! You came back for me!" said Cath, bounding up to the, over-dramatic red-head in the corner. "And you brought the Sunglasses of Justice!"
"Yes my love. Now, let us stare wistfully off into the sunset…together!" said Horatio, and, together, they flounced off into the sunset, the whore and man whore, un-doubtfully to go make several, strange, sunglasses-wearing off-spring.
"Okaaaaay," said Sara, this being the most audible thing she had said in an hour.
Suddenly, Grissom came bursting into the room, a jet pack attached to his back. "My god! I leave you people alone for an hour, and this is what you do? Do you know what Catherin and that Cain guy are doing in the lobby?! He actually took off the sunglasses of justice, without the presence of a sunset!"
Every one gapped, then, every thing changed.
"Greg, I need those DNA results, pronto," said Sara, putting her shirt back on.
"Right-o!" said Greg, fussing into the DNA lab.
Nick, suddenly very sober, turned to Warrick, just having got off his cell phone, though no-one had any recollection of it ringing. "That was Brass, there's a DB over at the Tangiers."
Warrick, suddenly very…not gay, looked up. "I'll grab the kits. Meet you there?"
"Yup," said Nick, his southern drawl, which had been strangely absent during he moments of chaos, had returned. He flashed Sara a grin for no apparent reason, Sara blushed, and they all exited, except for Gil Grissom.
He turns to the camera (Yes, I mean YOU!) and says, in an overly-dramatic voice, which will leave all the readers of this fic wondering if he's been taking lessons from Whoe-Cane and his Sunglasses of Justice, "My name is Gil Grissom, and I am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation."
Well? Did you like it? Did you love it? Did you hate it so much you might spontaneously combust? Tell me in a review! Flames, creative criticism, and death threats are all welcome!