A/N: First off, THIS IS NOT AN AKUROKU! I don't do yaoi, people. But I do think that Organization 13 is one of the coolest, most dysfunctional bad guy groups EVER. This idea's probably been beaten to death by now, but I'm using it anyway. The sooner the KH plot bunnies stop breeding in my head, the sooner I can get on with my overdue updates for my TT stories. (to those who've been waiting on those, I'm sooooo sorry) Rated for safety. Enjoy
Disclaimer: If I did, I'd know why they named it "Kingdom Hearts:358/2 days"
"If we can't feel, how come I'm bored?" Roxas complained. He and Axel, having nothing better to do, had been strolling aimlessly around the entire castle all day.
"I dunno, but I'm bored too," Axel replied, idly flinging a fireball against the wall.
They finally stopped in front of the door of Xemnas's study.
"Wonder what he does in there all day," Roxas mused, staring at the door.
Axel raised an eyebrow. "Whaddya mean? He plans. Duh." He rolled his eyes.
Roxas folded his arms. "Oh come on. He can't just be planning. Even he isn't obsessively OCD enough to spend all friggin' day making plans."
Unfortunately for Roxas, it was at this particular moment that Xemnas exited his study.
"Luckily for all of us, Number 13, I am obsessively OCD enough to spend all day making plans. If I wasn't, I fail to comprehend how anything would ever be accomplished."
Roxas and Axel both cowered in the superior's presence. "Um…I uh, just meant-"
Xemnas held up a hand. "Silence. I am not interested in hearing your pitiful excuses. I have much more constructive tasks to attend to. I will be leaving for a few hours. If anyone asks as to my whereabouts, please tell them I will be returning later today." And with that he portalled away.
"Nice," Axel said sarcastically. The two stared at Xemnas's door for a moment.
"We shouldn't," Roxas stated.
"We can't feel guilty unless we want to." Axel replied.
"He said a couple of hours…"
"We may never get this chance again."
"Let's go." The two boys smirked at each other as they stepped forward to open the door of Xemnas's study.
"Woah." Bookshelves lined the walls, the books' various colors contrasting sharply with the stark white of the ceiling and floor. Thousands of books filled the shelves. Books upon books upon books.
"I guess he reads." Axel said.
"And I thought Zexion had a lot of books." Roxas replied. They stepped into the room, closing the door behind them.
Spotting Xemnas's desk in a corner, they hurried over to it to see what their leader had been doing before they arrived. Roxas picked up a magazine off the desk and flipped it open. He grinned.
"Sweet!" Still smiling, he showed the page to Axel, who also grinned. "Swimsuit edition."
"Well, seems like Xemmy's got a naughty side," Axel scoffed, picking up another magazine off the pile. His eyes grew wide as he opened the blank-covered magazine.
"Hello," he said.
"What?" Roxas asked, putting down the magazine he'd been holding.
Axel scrutinized Roxas for a moment before asking, "How old are you, again?"
Roxas blinked. "Well, technically, fifteen, but I'm a nobody, so-"
"Yeah, you're a bit young for this." Axel interrupted, turning back to the magazine. He turned the page and smiled as a fold-out fell open. He held it up for a better view, careful not to allow Roxas to see.
"Oh, ho, ho! Who knew Xemnas had this kind of gold!"
Roxas glared. "Whaddya mean I'm a bit too young?"
Axel turned to look at him again. "Look, kid, this is just a little too, mature content for someone your age. Wouldn't want to damage your morality."
Roxas stared. "We're in Organization XIII! Since when do we care about morality!?"
Axel shut the magazine and rolled his eyes at Roxas. "Hey, you've got the keyblade, dontcha! Surely there must be something good about you! Wouldn't wanna ruin it and leave you unarmed."
"Whatever," Roxas replied, turning to riffle through more of Xemnas's magazines.
"Hey," he said, after a few minutes of silent 'reading', "Do you think Xemnas would notice if we took some of this?"
Axel pondered this for a moment. "Probably. But he can't blame anyone without revealing he had the stuff to begin with. So, I say, we grab it and scram."
"I dunno," Roxas said hesitantly, thinking more about the situation, "He saw us just before he left; He'd know it was us. And somehow I don't think things would go well if we even tried to blackmail the superior."
"Roxas!" Axel whined. "It was your idea in the first place! And besides, we could always blame it on Demyx."
Roxas cringed and shook his head vehemently. "Noooo. The last time we blamed something of Demyx, he flooded my room! It took me a week to get everything cleaned up!"
Axel frowned. "Fine. But maybe he won't notice if we just take a magazine or two. Look how many he's got!" Indeed, there was quite a large stack of magazines featuring women in various stages of undress, and after debating the issue for a few more minutes, they decided on taking two magazines each.
"You know," Roxas mused, as he looked through the pile, trying to decide which two magazines he was going to steal, "It's too bad Xemnas would kill us if we tried to use this against him, because this would make great blackmail material."
Axel nodded, rifling through another magazine he had deemed Roxas too young to view. Roxas paused, noticing the corner of what seemed to be a photograph sticking out form the bottom of the stack. He pulled the picture out and immediately his eyes grew bigger that he could ever remember them being.
"This, however, we could use."
Axel glanced casually over at the picture in Roxas's hand, and immediately did a double take.
"Is that Larxene?!" He exclaimed, staring at the photo.
Roxas whistled. "That black cloak doesn't do her justice."
Axel shook his head. "Somehow, I don't want to know how Xemnas go this picture."
Roxas cringed. "Me neither. But…" A mischievous smile crept up his face. "I'll bet Larxene wouldn't want anybody knowing either."
Axel returned the look. "You thinking what I'm thinking?
"Way ahead of you."
Knock, knock, knock.
Larxene growled, and turned to glare at her door. Whoever it was better have a very good reason for interrupting her when she was watching Desperate Housewives. She opened the door, only to see an empty hallway. She growled, sparks flying above her head. She then looked down to see a note, with a photocopy of a very important picture pinned to it.
Her panic was short lived. She would recognize that sloppy hand writing anywhere. "Those idiots!" She laughed evilly. How stupid of those morons to not even try to disguise the handwriting. She dropped the note into a desk drawer, and then left her room, proceeding straight across the hall to a room with XIII embossed onto the door.
Roxas groaned, shifting the icepack placed over his left eye. Hand shaking, he lifted the marker to the "Things never to do again" list taped to his wall. With a grimace, right below "Blame stuff on Demyx", he added "Mess with Larxene."
A/N: I don't know. This one was a little choppy, and certainly not my best work. But it's out of my head. The plot bunnies really need to be fixed. They're suffering from overpopulation, and the TT plot bunnies have lost their breeding grounds.
Please review, even if to tell me it sucks.