Boilerplate Disclaimer: The characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.
NoDrogs created the twins, whose origins have been altered in my stories.
Followed by Real Chaos
"Why aren't the twins eating with us tonight?" Kim asked as they sat down for dinner.
"It's 'cause they're drunk as skunks," Jane chirped up.
"Shhh," Shego tried to silence her.
"Plowed, plastered, hammered, plotto, blintzed, shut-faced-"
"Stop," Kim demanded. "Shut-faced? Where are you getting these words?"
"Eemah and the nice policeman were talking on the porch."
"It's blotto, not plotto, and blitzed, not blintzed," Shego whispered loudly. "And stop talking with your mouth full."
"I'm not eating anything," Jane protested.
"Well, eat something. And stop talking."
As the meal wound down Kim turned to Jane, "Could you go to bed early tonight? I think Mommy and Eemah need to talk."
Jane frowned and Shego stepped in to defend her, "My client has done nothing wrong. She, in fact, behaved perfectly today. Nay, she behaved above and beyond expectations for a five year old. Early bedtime? That is a punishment for miscreants and ne'er-do-wells. Punish her? Rather she should be rewarded. I say ice cream and staying up as late if she wants."
Kim sighed, "How about ice cream and regular bed time?" Jane smiled and nodded.
"Get out the bowls," Shego told the little redhead, "I'll get the ice cream."
As they ate their low-fat chocolate chip mint Kim turned to her youngest daughter, "A word of advice, never marry a lawyer."
The little girl's eyes started to fill with tears.
"Jesus, Kim," Shego complained, "Don't scare the kid. She's had a really rotten day." She patted Jane's head. "It's okay. Mommy and Eemah aren't going to split up. We'd never be able to decide who got the house. She was just telling a joke."
After dinner Kim loaded the dishwasher, "I really want to know what happened to the twins," she told the other two. "But if I have to wait until Jane goes to bed, how about I read to her in the library?"
"I would strongly advise against that course of action," Shego warned. "It won't be fit for human habitation until the twins start serving their community service time by mopping up tomorrow."
Kim frowned, "That bad?"
Shego shook her head, "'Fraid so. It's really rank. I thought of cleaning, but decided they needed the lesson."
Kim read to Jane in the living room, then the three watched a little television. The five-year old gave Mommy and Eemah each a big hug and kiss and scampered off to bed.
"Talk now?" Kim asked.
"She'll be back," Shego warned.
Jane was down ten minutes later in pajamas with her teeth brushed for another hug and kiss. She looked at Kim, "Will Kasy and Sheki be okay?"
Kim looked over to Shego, "Sisters will probably feel sick tomorrow," the pale woman answered. "But they're going to be fine."
"For sure… Oh, they don't want you to scream tomorrow. Make sure you do."
"Hey, it's part of their punishment."
Jane scampered off to bed, and Shego recounted the story of the afternoon.
"Put a lock on it," Kim said as Shego finished.
"No. It says we don't trust them-"
"We don't," Kim said. She paused, "Sorry, not sure how I feel now."
"I know the feeling. They can also pick locks."
"Fine. Get rid of the liquor."
"That's not an answer to the problem."
"Yes it is," Kim insisted. "No liquor cabinet, no one gets into the liquor."
"That doesn't teach them anything about what alcohol is or responsibility."
"We never had alcohol in the house," Kim responded, "and I turned out fine."
"And I appreciate being married to a designated driver, but you don't know anything about drinking."
"I don't like the taste."
"And there is nothing wrong with that - for you. Are you going to claim that makes it right for everybody?"
Kim paused, "No, but I'd like it if they didn't drink either."
"Do you think I drink too much?" Shego demanded.
Kim hesitated. "Okay," Shego asked, changing the question, "how many times have you seen me drunk in the years we've been together?"
"Hmm, a couple times at Purim for sure."
"I'll admit that. A couple times in all the years we've been together. Do I have a drink most nights?"
"No, most nights you don't"
"Kim," Shego said softly. "I think it is our job to teach them some responsibility. If they go off to college without knowing anything they could fall in with the 'let's spend the weekend drunk' crowd."
"You sound like we should let them drink."
"If they want to taste beer, let them taste beer. If they want a glass of wine with Friday night dinner, let them have a glass of wine with Friday night dinner. Let them see alcohol used with a meal instead of as an excuse to get drunk."
"Is that how you were raised?"
"No," Shego admitted. "I was raised like you. And when I got away from home I did some really stupid things because I didn't know any better. I want more of a European model with the kids."
Kim raised an eyebrow, "Are you going to tell me there are no drinking problems in Europe?"
"No, but they have a higher percentage of people who know that the point isn't to get drunk."
"And if they want to take drugs that will be okay if we're here to supervise?"
"Bogus analogy, Kim. Illegal drugs are illegal drugs. Society says they can buy drinks in a few years if they want. I don't want them to learn the hard way, like I did. If they were allowed a little glass of wine if they wanted to try one do you think they'd have been sneaking around into the liquor cabinet today?"
Kim wavered, "I don't know. But I know we aren't going to solve this tonight. And we say nothing to the girls on the subject until we decide and both agree. Nothing said, right?"
Shego mimed zipping her mouth shut, but then, remembering something left unsaid, shot her hand in the air. Kim smiled and said, "Yes."
Shego mimed unzipping her mouth. "We don't say anything about big issue until we agree, but let's get the immediate punishment in mind. First punishment is how they feel tomorrow. Second is cleaning up the mess in the library. Grounding for a third, how much hard time do we give them?"
"I'd suggest a month of relative grounding, or two weeks of complete," Kim said. "But you're the one who saw it. Is that enough? Do we need a fourth punishment?"
"Two weeks total grounding would be enough, I think. But we need an enforcer. We can't have them home alone until I get in from the office - I think they'll watch TV or turn on the computer."
"You're right. Let me call the Stoppables and see if Hana is free for a couple weeks."
Kim drew a deep breath when she got of her cell phone and let it out slowly. "Well, she agreed. It's a hundred bucks a week."
"For an hour and a half after school for five days?"
Kim handed Shego the phone, "You want to call back and negotiate with her?"
"No thanks, she's one scary kid. Hey, I need a drink. You want one?"
Kim glared at her.
"I just meant a cup of green tea."