Title: You Can't Keep An Old Dog Down

Author: Lady FoxFire & Corwalch

Pairing: None

Rating: PG-13/K+

Category(s): rossover - Harry Potter/StarGate SG-1

Summary: Magic can make anything possible and when you mix in SG-1 it's a guarantee that the impossible will happen.

Disclaimer: This fit of madness if from the twisted minds of Corwalch and Lady FoxFire. If you recognize something from StarGate SG-1 or from Harry Potter then you better believe we don't own it or make any money from it.

Bad Author Notes: Sorry about the delay on this fic. Real life and the flu bites.

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After her meeting with Colonel O'Neill and the tongue lashing she had received from that man, Madam Bones returned to her office to briefly check on things before returning home in order to have a talk with her niece.

"You're home early," Susan looked up from the book she was reading when her aunt walked into the library.

"Some… interesting allegations came up that I am hoping you can shed some light on," Madam Bones told her, sitting down in a chair near the couch her niece was lounging in.

"Me?" Susan looked confused as she closed her book.

Bones nodded her head. "It concerns some things going on at Hogwarts and some people actions."

"I don't understand," Susan admitted.

Madam Bones leaned forward. "Tell me about your first year at Hogwarts and about Harry Potter."

"But I wrote about all of that in my letters," Susan said.

"I know. I know but let's pretend that you didn't. Tell me about that year," Bones replied.

Susan stared at her aunt for a moment. "I noticed Harry while we waited to be sorted…"

An hour later, "And then Dumbledore rewarded Neville 10 points which let Gryffindor to win the house cup," Susan finished her story.

"And what about second year?" Bones asked.

"Aunty! It's late! I should be getting ready for bed," Susan said in exasperation.

"It's important Susan," Madam Bones said simply

Susan's eyes narrowed. "Is this about a case? About Harry being missing?"

Madam Bones reared back in shock. "What do you know about that!" she demanded

Susan crossed her arms over her chest, a smug look on her face. "I know more than most people think I know."

"How?" Bones demanded.

"I'm 16, Aunt Amelia, not 6 though everyone treats me like I am. I do hear and notice things," Susan replied. "Beside I'm a Bones. And we Bones are well known for being able to ferret information out of any source."

Madam Bones chuckled. "That is so true. You are your father's daughter," she said fondly. "Your grandparents had a hard time trying to keep your father from finding out what his gifts were when he was your age. He was always piecing little bits of information together in order to figure out the big picture. Your mother was the only thing he could never figure out and that's why he claimed he wanted to marry her, so he could have a lifetime to figure her out."

"Only to be killed by Death eaters," Susan said sadly as she looked away.

They sat in silence as they remember their lose.

"What do you need to know?" Susan finally asked with a tired sigh.

Madam Bones sat in silence for a moment before saying, "I don't know. Someone is claiming that I was fed false information about what was happening at the school, information that possibly endangers everyone at the school. I need to find out the truth."

"And my letters couldn't help?" Susan asked. "I wrote to you almost every week about what was happening. Couldn't they help?"

Bones bit her bottom lip for a moment before admitting, "I think your letters were compromised."

"What?"

"My source of information suggested that your letters along with letters from other students were intercepted and edited so that parents wouldn't be concerned about what was going on," Bones replied.

Susan sat in silence for a moment before saying, "You do realize that they would have to intercept the letters the parents were writing as well. Not every letter… they would be looking for key things and key people. I mean you wouldn't have Mr. Malfoy write to his son that he should trust Dumbledore and the teachers since it would have been out of character for Mr. Malfoy to do."

Madam Bones stared at Susan in surprise. "Do you have the letters I wrote?"

Susan nodded her head. "Do you have mine?"

"Of course," Bones replied with a smirk that Susan quick copied as the two women rose from their chairs to fetch their letters.


The guard stepped out of the checkpoint at security gate leading to NORAD as a three vehicle convoy drove toward the front gate. He started to get a bit worried when the first jeep pulled off to the side of the road about five hundred feet from the gate. The driver and his companion got out of their jeep and took up a position at the back of it watching the road leading up to the gate.

The guard recognized the truck as belonging to Colonel O'Neill and while he relaxed a little, he didn't let his guard down completely. Reese had been warned when he first started working at NORAD who the most likely personnel were to bring trouble intentional or otherwise onto the base and O'Neill and his team had been at the top of that list.

While O'Neill was driving the truck, the passenger set off the guard's internal threat-o-meter, even though the Colonel looked completely relaxed. The other man in the truck with O'Neill was dressed all in black right down to his sunglasses. Between that and the man's utter stillness, Reese thought he was looking at a robot, until the man turned his head to look at him then he thought the man was sizing him up for a coffin.

"Colonel O'Neill, is everything ok?" The guard kept his hand near his pistol in case it was needed.

O'Neill looked at his passenger then back at the solider. "Did you ever have one of those days where you wondered if you'd just woken up in the Twilight Zone?"

"Once or twice, sir, since I started working here" Corporal Reese admitted truthfully. Given this man and his team's reputation he didn't think it would be held against him.

"Then you are one of the lucky ones." O'Neill told him. "Personally right now I'm debating on whether or not this guy is human or a robot. I think he could be dead ringer for a younger Arnold in the Terminator."

"I don't have an accent," O'Neill's passenger commented blandly.

"You'll notice he didn't deny the possibility of being a robot." O'Neill commented in a loud whisper to the guard, before getting back to business. "He and the others are merely providing an escort for their boss Mrs. McKnight who works for CIA and my ward to make sure he makes it safely back to the base since the people who killed his parents are still out there looking for him. They won't be staying long."

The gate guard nodded his head as he told him, "I need to clear that with the General, sir."

"Go right ahead," O'Neill turned to his passenger and asked, "so do you take showers? I would be afraid of rusting?"

Dame Helen's agent just looked at him from behind the dark sunglasses and didn't say a word.

The gate guard came back and told O'Neill, "The General said that he will meet you and Mrs. McKnight on level twenty, sir."

"Thank you, Corporal Reese." O'Neill nodded his understanding of the instructions. "Mr. Arnold here will wait for Mrs. McKnight, near her vehicle. And they will be leaving together along with the two jeeps outside."

"Very good sir, I will let the perimeter guards know," Corporal Kyle Reese told him.


O'Neill escorted Dame Helen and Harry to the elevator that would take them back to the SGC.

When the doors to the elevator they were treated to the sight of Daniel standing in the corner of the elevator bouncing from one foot to the other.

O'Neill shook his head as he asked, "Ok, who let you have unrestricted access to the coffee pot? They know better than that."

"Are you sure he doesn't need to go to the bathroom?" Helen asked a slight smile on her face. "The way he is moving reminds me a lot of my son when he needed to go to the bathroom."

"Nah," O'Neill disagreed, hiding a small smile at the look of outage on Daniel's face and gesturing for Harry and Helen to enter the elevator. "Daniel's Pee Pee Dance is different. There are usually groans of pain and bent over rapid walking is generally involved. This is either a caffeine high or else Daniel has made some tremendous breakthrough in regards to his rocks that he wants to share."

"I have never made groans of pain or walk doubled over." Daniel protested.

"Last month," O'Neill reminded him, "you got so involved with that project you were working on that when I interrupted you to ask you about something, you groaned almost doubling over in your seat before you got up and pushed past me as you ran hunched over to the bathroom."

"That was one time." Daniel protested.

"Then there was the time you and Carter were working on some translation science project and when I came to get you both for dinner, you did the same thing." O'Neill disagreed. "Just admit it, Daniel, you get so wrapped up in your work that you would forget to breath if it weren't an automatic function of your body."

Harry had to smother a snort of laughter because even during his brief time around Daniel he had seen how involved the man could get in his work. The only person he knew who was more research obsessed was Hermione. She could get so fixated on trying to find one obscure fact that she would forget to eat if he and Ron didn't drag her to the Great Hall for meals.

"What brought you up topside, Daniel?" O'Neill punched the button that would take them to level 20. "I half expected that I would have to pry you out of your lab when I got back here."

"The General got permission for me to explain what we do here to Harry," Daniel was bouncing up and down as he said this. "It seems as though the President knows about Harry and what is going on in the wizarding world."

Helen told them. "I had my second in command alert the President to some possible problems coming from magical Britain and that we suspected that Mr. Potter had information on the potential issues and we were trying to locate him to get that information."

Daniel nodded his head. "That explains why when the General called to get permission to let Harry know about what goes on here, he seemed to recognize the name and gave permission. He also said that he was going to arrange for someone to be sent from the Dept of Magic to help protect Harry and mentioned that they may have a way to protect the knowledge of what goes on here so that no one magical can get it out of anyone's head, which would increase our security. He said that person was to be fully briefed about us as well once they have swore an oath to keep it secret. Do you really have that kind spell?"

Helen nodded her head. "There is a couple way to stop someone from telling anyone even under torture or truth drugs or from having someone read your mind."

"Your people can read minds?" Daniel asked.

"A few," Helen admitted before O'Neill could say anything. "The art is called Legilmency."

"And Dumbledore is a Master of the Art as is Severus Snape." O'Neill added. "If either of them show up here, don't ever look them in the eyes. The old saying the eyes are the window to the soul has some foundation because of Legilmency. If you meet their gaze they gain access to your thoughts."

"I'm surprised it's not illegal?" Daniel commented.

"In some countries it is." Helen told him. "In the US those who learn the art are required to register to learn it and then they have to swear an oath to only use it to help people and not harm or lose their magic."

"Why such a strong oath?" Daniel asked curious.

"Because if someone abuses the skill they can cause a lot of harm." O'Neill told him "The common name for the crime is mind rape. If it is not done correctly or taught correctly, you can rip someone's mind to shreds."

"I have no doubt Snape was trying to rip my mind apart," Harry commented in the ensuing silence. "I always had such horrible headaches after those Occulmency lessons Dumbledore made me have with him. Not that they were really lessons. I mean having someone stand in front of you shouting clear your mind when you have no idea how to do it and then trying to break in does not strike me as teaching me how to protect my thoughts."

Helen stared at Harry in slight surprise. She had known that Dumbledore was a master of the mind arts, but she hadn't known about Snape and Harry hadn't mentioned any of that when they had talked. She felt like a fool for not having Potter checked for possible mental tampering when she was having a healer check him out for possible injuries magical and otherwise. The boy would have to be checked soon, not only for possible mental damage but in case Snape or Dumbledore had left any commands planted in his mind. "I will need to make arrangements for one of the Mind healers on my staff to have a look at you, to see what if any damage was done and get it fixed."

O'Neill remembered from his time as Sirius the Occulmency lessons that Dumbledore had insisted Harry needed to protect his mind from Voldemort, but he hadn't known that Snape was teaching him nothing. Sirius' parents had taught him when he was young how to protect his mind so he knew that the first steps were meditation and teaching someone how to build defenses before trying to attack them. Snape was going to pay. O'Neill swore silently to himself. It would require careful planning but he would make sure the man paid for the pain he had inflicted on his godson.

They left the elevator and headed down the hall with Daniel chattering a mile a minute to Harry, about his travels on Earth and the few times he had been in England and asking him questions about what he knew of the magical world.

O'Neill stopped at the briefing room door and got ready to open it, when he noticed that Daniel still had Harry moving down the hall. "Hey Daniel, the general first, your rocks later."

Daniel reluctantly turned around and led Harry back to the open door.


"Dame McKnight," Hammond greeted the leader of magical version of the CIA with a nod of his head as she entered the room.

When Harry came into the meeting room, Hammond move toward him, hand extended. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Potter. I'm General Hammond and I am in charge of this base."

Harry looked at Jack for a moment to find out what he should do. When Jack nodded that it was ok, he took the General's hand. "Thank you for letting me stay here sir."

"You are quite welcome, young man. From what I've heard you've had a rough time of it so I'm happy I was able to help." Hammond assured him before gesturing for them to take seats a t the table.

Once they were seated, Hammond came right to the point. "Dame McKnight, Mr. Potter, if you both are willing to swear an oath on your magical to never voluntarily discuss what you are about to learn with anyone who does not already know about it, then I have been given permission from the President of the United States to brief you on what goes on here at this base."

Dame McKnight removed her wand as swore the requested oath.

Harry had also pulled out his wand, but looked over at Jack before swearing his oath to make sure it was ok for him to do so. "Is an oath given to a muggle binding, since they have no magic?"

"They do have magic, no matter what the wizard world may believe. Magic is part of your soul. Theirs is just not trainable the way yours can be. People who lift cars off loved ones or seem to fall from great heights and yet miraculously escape unharmed or with very minor injuries. They were able to tap into their magic, because they believed it a higher power to help them and it did. It's ok to make the oath," O'Neill assured him. "Trust me on this. The stuff that the General has gotten permission for Daniel to tell you about, could help save your life and I want... need you to know how to get to it and use it if you ever need to."

Harry nodded and gave the requested oath to General Hammond, then turned to Jack and asked. "Why is Daniel going to be the one explaining?"

Helen had to admit she was kind of curious about that herself.

O'Neill shrugged. "He understands and can explain it better than just about anyone and he doesn't drift into technobabble, the way Carter does."

"I thought you didn't like the orientation I usually gave to the new base personnel." Daniel reminded him. "You always complained that I spent too much time going on about dead people and rocks."

"You do," O'Neill agreed, "but you are no where near as bad as Sam when she's done it."

Deciding to accept the backhanded compliment, Daniel turned on the projector and began explaining about the Stargate starting with the expedition led by Dr. Langford up to present day.

While Helen took in the majority of the lecture and understood the implications, part of her mind was on the writing she has seen on the cover stone and on other items from that dig. They reminded her of items currently being held at the American Ministry that had been left in their care by a Franklin named O'Connell, who told them he had been given the things by a friend of his from Egypt after Langford's group had left Egypt. According to the instructions that O'Connell had left with the items, they were to be kept secure by the Ministry unless the Doorway to Heaven was opened and if it were ever opened, to give them to the Doorkeeper.

Once Dr. Jackson was done with his explanation, Dame Helen spoke up. "General Hammond, I will need to make arrangements for some items that are currently being kept in a secure area at the Ministry to be delivered here."

"What items?" O'Neill and Hammond asked at the same time, then Hammond asked, "Why are these items supposed to be brought here?"

Dame Helen sighed, "About seventy years ago a Franklin named O'Connell brought some things to the Ministry saying he had been given them by a friend of his in Egypt. He was told they were to be kept by the Ministry and only given to one individual, the Doorkeeper, if the Doorway to Heaven were ever opened."

"What's a Franklin?" Harry and Daniel asked at the same time.

"In Britain those born to Magical parents who aren't magical are called squibs." Helen told them. "They were called the same thing in America until a very famous one proved that just because you didn't have magic you weren't useless. His name was Benjamin Franklin also known as one of the "Founding Fathers" of America. After he died the part of America that was magical decided to honor him by replacing a very derogatory term with his name to honor everything he had done and show those who had been born to magical families but had no magic themselves that they could accomplish wonders without any magic."

While O'Neill and Hammond were both surprised to learn that Benjamin Franklin had come from a magical family, neither of them let it deter them from the more important issue, 'Someone in Egypt seventy years ago had known what the gate was and what it could do.'

"Do you know who O'Connell's Egyptian friend was?" Hammond asked.

"No." Dame Helen told them. "And given the man's reputation, no one at the Ministry was about to ask."

"Reputation? What kind of reputation?" O'Neill wanted to know.

"In magical circles, he was known as one of the few to survive finding Hamunaptra, and if stories are to be believed, he also did battle with the Scorpion King who was a servant of Anubis and he defeated him." Dame Helen told them seriously. "Given his reputation among the magicals in Egypt, no one over here was going to ask him any questions."

"That's kind of short-sighted isn't it?" O'Neill couldn't resist commenting. "What if what he'd brought you had been something intended to destroy the Ministry?"

"We knew it wouldn't be," Dame Helen sounded certain. "While O'Connell has a reputation of being reckless, he was also considered a defender of humanity."

"Survive Hamunaptra?" Daniel gasped. "I take it you're not talking about the city in India that was excavated in the '20's"

"You would be correct, Dr. Jackson." Dame Helen told him. "When we heard from O'Connell that it had been found, we knew we had to take action to take action to distract people from looking for it. The easiest thing to do was to distract them by letting them find another old city that had been cleaned of everything magical already as far from the real one as possible and think it was Hamunaptra."

McKnight leaned forward in her chair. "You must understand that there are still ancient magics and magical items in the real city that should never be allowed to see the light of day. The Egyptian Minister of Magic has slowly been clearing magical items from Hamunaptra with the help of the Medjai. They are the descendants of the ancient line of guardians who protected the city even when it was in use. From what I understand, it is hoped that someday, in the not too distant future that Egyptologist can discover the city once again. Unfortunately at this moment the city is a danger to the whole world."

"And the items you mentioned?" Hammond asked.

"It's been suggested that O'Connell's friend might have the gift of Sight and knew that some day they might be needed, given that Langford had been allowed to depart with the Doorway in the first place. They trusted O'Connell to insure the right thing was done and by extension us," McKnight answered.

"What about the Mummy movies?" O'Neill asked, "Were those the Ministry's doing too?"

There was a slightly mischievous look on Dame Helen's face as she shook her head. "We can't take credit for that. O'Connell along with a few other Franklins were responsible for the early Mummy movies.


In the dark of night a cloaked figured slipped into 12 Grimmauld Place through the front door, shutting it silently behind him.

Moving quickly by quietly the cloak figure climbed the stairs to the second floor. Glancing briefly at the portrait of the former Lady Black to make sure she was covered, the cloaked figure walked down the hall. Stopping in front of the door that led to one of the bedrooms the figure slipped into the room like a thief in the night.

Once in the bedroom, the cloaked figure closed the door behind him and waited for his eyes to adjust to the dim light that found its way in through the heavy curtains.

Finally he turned his attention to the sleeping figure in the bed. In a heartbeat the cloak figure was next to the bed, his hand covering the mouth of the sleeping person to keep them from screaming out as they suddenly awoke.

"Shhhh! Shhh! Ron, it is me," the figure said in a hushed voice as the young boy fought against him.

"Bill!" Ron gasped as he finally pulled his brother's hand from his mouth. "Bloody hell what do you think you are doing!"

"Trying to keep you from alerting the whole household for one thing," Bill pulled the curtain open a little bit, allowing some more outside light to come in. "And for another, trying to avoid mum until much later. After all it is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission."

"What are you talking about," Ron demanded, confusion evident on his face.

Bill sat down on the edge of the bed. "Tell me, Ron, Do you trust Dumbledore?"

"Dumbledore?" Ron said as he sat up and leaned against the headboard.

Bill nodded as he waited for an answer.

Ron sighed. "Why do you want to know, Bill?"

Bill shrugged his shoulders. "Like I said it is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission."

Ron snorted. "Will I am pretty sure that everyone knows my opinion of the Headmaster since I compared him to the Dark Lord."

Bill blinked a couple of times in surprise.

Taking Bill's silence as a sign to continue. "While I do not believe I will find myself in Azkaban like Sirius, especially after I mentioned that option in the meeting; I would not be surprise if I had an accident while at Hogwarts."

"Accident?" Bill said.

"Quidditch accident. Potions accident. Falling from the stairs because they moved suddenly. Serving a detention in the Forbidden Forest. A prank that goes wrong," Ron listed off a number of possible accidents. "I am sure that it will not be something deadly just in case someone remembers that I suggested that Dumbledore would arrange for me to be removed like Sirius was. It will probably be something that will take a long time to recover from or something that would cause me to join Neville's parents in St. Mungo's."

"I can see you thought that out," Bill was slightly taken back by his baby's brother attitude about the whole thing.

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "After Harry disappeared I sat down and really thought things out. I started to look at everything like it was a chess game and I did not like how the game was being played. Too many mistakes that left my Queen open and unable to defend herself."

"Harry is the Queen?" Bill asked.

Ron nodded his head. "Dumbledore sees himself as the king since he thinks the whole game revolves around him and You Know Who. But with Harry gone, it has thrown the whole game out of balance."

"So if Dumbledore is the King and Harry's the Queen, who is everyone else?" Bill asked.

"Pawns mostly," Ron answered. "I would say that Dumbledore sees Snape and McGonagall as bishops. Moody is a castle."

"Who are the knights?" Bill asked

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "Probably Sirius and Remus. I have seen a lot of games of chess where the players ignored the knights or sacrifice them uselessly because they never realize the true powers they have."

Bill nodded his head. "So mum, dad and the rest of us are just pawns. It explains why he sent dad to ask if I could get any information about Harry from Fleur."

Ron looked at Bill in confusion. "Why would he… never mind. He probably thinks that the Fleur and Gabrielle's parents had a hand in Harry's disappearance because Harry rescued Gabrielle during the Tournament."

Bill nodded his head. "Dad said so when he told Fleur and me why he was there."

"He what?" Ron sputtered.

"Do not forget who taught you chess, little brother. Dad knew how to explain things so it kept all of us with the exception of mum out of trouble with the Delacours. Mum, they just put down as a woman who is insane with worry over her missing child," Bill explained.

"And Dumbledore takes the rest," Ron said thoughtfully.

Bill nods his head with a smirk on his face. "As you can imagine the Delacours are not pleased."

Ron nodded his head. "So that brings up the question about why you are here, Bill? What game are you playing?"

A huge toothy grin appeared on Bill's face. "Where's Wally."

"Where's Wally?" Ron echoed back in confusion.

"Yep. It is a Muggle game," Bill stood up. "Get dressed Ron. You are playing Wally."

"What exactly are we doing?" Ron asked, climbing out of bed.

"We are hiding you from Dumbledore," Bill threw a clean shirt at his baby brother. "And from mum, of course. Can not imagine she will be pleased when she learns you are gone."

"Gone where?" Ron demanded as he pulled the shirt over his head.

"I know a bloke from New Zealand, who has a third cousin who works for the wizard school there. Now their Headmistress has agreed to allow you attend school there unofficially; mostly because she wants to thumb her nose at Dumbledore," Bill explained.

Ron paused for a moment. "So I am hiding in plain sight?"

"Yep. Using your own name and still having the same bright red Weasley hair," Bill said with a cheeky smile. "And no one will ever figure it out. After all if everyone is looking for the missing and possibly kidnapped Ron Weasley, they would never believe he is attending school in New Zealand under his real name."

"No," Ron shook his head as he pulled up his pants. "Someone would figure it out and tell Dumbledore or mum."

Bill leaned against the wall. "Did I ever tell you the prank some 7th years pulled when I was in my 2nd year at Hogwarts?"

"No," Ron sat down to put on his shoes.

"It was a beautiful spring day and I was just coming out of Honeydukes when a group of 7th year Gryffindors walked past me completely nude," Bill said as a blush came to his cheek. "And no one noticed and if they did they just shrugged their shoulders and went on with their business."

Ron stared at him in shock. "And no one said anything? Not even McGonagall."

Bill snorted. "She said someone pranked her students and turned their clothes invisible to everyone except for those in the group. Of course I actually asked one of them about it at the end of the year and they told me that all they had on were warming charms. That the whole thing was a test to determine how blind the wizard world is, which turned out to be pretty blind since no one attempted to clothe them or tell them that they could see everything and the fact they weren't punished for it."

"So I'm going to be in plain sight where anyone could find me if they actually looked," Ron stood up after putting his other shoe on.

"Exactly. Now come on, let's get out of here before someone realizes I am here," Bill said.

"But what about my stuff?" Ron looked around the room.

"Leave it," Bill answered. "If we take it then people will assume you ran away where if we leave it…"

"People will assume I was kidnapped," Ron said with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Or that Dumbledore spirited you away or that the house ate you," Bill said with a grin that mirrored his baby brother's. And he turned to the door, Bill added softly, "And teaches him a lesson about interfering with a Weasley in love."


"Ginny, go upstairs and wake your brother," Molly was busily frying some bacon for breakfast. "I can not believe that boy is still asleep at this hour in the day."

"Yes, mum," Ginny walked out of the kitchen and made her way to Ron's room.

Stopping in front of the closed bedroom door, Ginny tapped softly on it. "Ron. Time to get up," she called softly. She knocked again when there was no answer. "Ron?"

Stepping back from the door she sighed dramatically. "Oh my poor brother is fast asleep and just will not wake up for me. Whatever shall I do? Should I tell mum I could not wake him or take a page from my other brother's playbook?" she asked out loud with a twinkle in her eye. "Oh what shall I do?"

"Is something wrong, Ginny," Hermione walked over to the young girl, a book in her hand.

"Oh I was just figuring out what the best way to wake Ron would be?" Ginny waved a hand towards the closed door.

"Did you knock?" Hermione asked.

"Of course but he did not answer," Ginny replied.

"Well are you sure he is not awake and maybe somewhere else in house?" Hermione demanded.

Ginny snorted. "He is not in the kitchen and I doubt he will be anyplace else at this hour."

Hermione sighed. "You are right, of course. If it is not food, quidditch or chess, Ron is not interested."

Ginny giggled. "He is a walking stomach."

Hermione nodded her head. "Of course most boys his age are but Ron is the worst. Have you ever watched him eat?"

Ginny nodded her head. "But it's not Ron's fault. It's our older brothers' fault that he eats like that."

"What? How?" Hermione sputtered, confused from Ginny's statement.

Ginny shook her head. "Imagine being the youngest boy out of 6 boys, 6 hungry boys."

Hermione took a moment before saying, "Ohhh so he eats fast so he can get seconds."

"Or keep what he has. I have seen the twins steal from his plate when he was not paying attention or eating too slow," Ginny said. "I do not think Ron has realized he does not have to protect his food while he is at Hogwarts. Of course I never had that problem since I was the only girl in the family."

"I can not believe your mum would allow such a thing," Hermione protested.

Ginny shrugged her shoulders. "She said her brothers did the same thing. That it was good for them to learn that they need to defend what was theirs."

Hermione let out a small gasp of surprise at Molly's attitude about the whole thing.

"Anyway I am trying to decide how to wake Ron up before breakfast gets cold," Ginny turned her attention back to the bedroom door.

"Why do not you just open the door, walk in and wake him up?" Hermione said as she pointed out the simplest solution.

"Are you mad!" Ginny exclaimed as she turned on Hermione. "I can not do that! Who knows what type of trap Ron has laid for the twins!"

"Ron would not do something like that," Hermione dismissed Ginny's concern with a shake of her head.

"Ron is not stupid, no matter how much he makes himself out to be. He knows perfectly well that the twins would test their pranks on him if they got the chance," Ginny snapped back at the older girl.

"I am sure that Ron would not do anything like that, especially when he is a guest in someone else's home," Hermione countered.

"Fine," Ginny snapped. "You can go first. Open the door, walk in and wake my brother up."

Hermione glanced over at the innocent bedroom door then back at Ginny then back at the door. "Fine then," she said before marching over to the door.

Taking a deep breath, she reached out and turned the doorknob then gave the door a gentle push to open it.

Hermione turned to Ginny with a triumphant smile. "See nothing happened."

Ginny crossed her arms over her chest. "You still have to go in and wake him up."

"I will," Hermione snapped back before turning on her heel and walking into the room. "Ron! It is time to get up!"

A moment later, Hermione called out, "He is not here."

"What do you mean he is not here?" Ginny demanded, walking into the room.

"I mean he is not here," Hermione pointed towards the bed.

Ginny glared at the bed as if it had just personally offended her. "He is probably downstairs eating all the bacon."

Hermione rolled her eyes before saying. "Then we best get down there before he eats everything." And with that she walked out of the room.


The kitchen the twins were busily filling their plates when an unearthly scream filled the air.

With a much put upon sigh, Molly turned to the twins and asked, "What did you two do?"

"What make you think it was us?" one of the twins said since the other was busy chewing his food.

Molly said nothing but stared at her boys.

"We were just trying out a directional prank, mum," the other twin said as his brother took the opportunity to eat some of his breakfast.

"A directional prank?" Molly asked with a sigh.

The twins nodded their heads in unison. "It only goes off if you pass the prank in the correct direction." They switched off once again so the other twin could eat.

"A hundred people could walk through the doorway with one of our directional pranks on it but the first, second or fifteenth person to exit the room through the same door will get pranked."

Molly sighed once again as she pitched the bridge of her nose. "And exactly which door did you put this prank on?"

"Ron's bedroom," one of the twins answered.

Molly shook her head before turning back to the stove and started to cook more food.

"YOU!" The single word was spoken with so much hate and disgust that everyone turned towards the source of the word.

In the door stood Hermione, the shirt she was wearing was stretched tightly over a set of enormous breasts.

"This is all your fault," Hermione glared at the twins with a promise of death in her eyes.

"I think we have a new market, Gred," Feorge commented, staring at Hermione's very ample cleavage.

"I believe you are right, my dear brother but will need to refine it some more. I am sure that most women do not what them to be that… large," Gred answered.

Feorge nodded his head as he continued to stare at the breasts. "And increase the time limit on the spell. We would not them to suddenly deflate when the spell ends."

"Or have someone use Finite Incantatem on them," Gred commented.

Hermione stared at the twin shocked as they talked about her breasts in a 'matter of fact' manner. Her breasts rising and falling with each breath she took.

"They are much larger than any breasts I have seen before," one of the twins commented.

"Reminds me a bit of that Muggle book we found. The one with the comics inside. All the girls in it had huge breasts, wide eyes and a thing for tentacles," the other brother commented.

Hermione let out a screech of outrage.

"You better run," Ginny called out over Hermione's shoulder as the older girl charged after the twins before they could simply apparate away.

"I'm going to kill them," Hermione snarled. "How dare they do this to me!"

"Of course you will," Molly said calmly as set down a plate of food before pulling out her wand and casting a spell on Hermione that caused her breasts to return to normal. "But I am curious about one thing..."

"And what is that Mrs. Weasley?" Hermione tried to straighten up her clothes.

"Well the prank the twins set would only affect the first person coming out of Ron's room," Molly said as she eyed the young lady. "So is there something you want to tell me about Ron and yourself?"

"What?" Hermione sputtered as Ginny howled with laughter.

"I completely understand the thing about young love but I would have preferred that you waited until both of you were older to spend a night together," Molly said.

"No! No! I didn't… we didn't…" Hermione sputtered as her face turned bright red and she shook her head.

"Mum, Hermione was helping me wake Ron up. She did not spend the night with him," Ginny came to the older girl rescue.

"Oh... well then… ummm…" Molly said flustered over what she had implied about her youngest son and the young lady in front of her. "Yes, well… Ginny, where is your brother?"

"I do not know," Ginny sat down at the table. "His room was empty when we went in there. He is probably someplace in the house."

Molly looked at the two girls then out the kitchen door, into the rest of the house. "Eat up and then I want you to search the house for him."

"Yes, mum," Ginny sighed as she started to load her plate.

"He is probably was caught in one of the twins prank and can not get out of it or is too embarrassed to ask for help," Hermione commented.

Ginny choked on the milk she was drinking. "Ron with breasts," she gasped when she could speak again.

"Oh Merlin!" Hermione exclaimed. "He is probably hiding so he could play with them."

Ginny nodded her head. "He is such a boy!"

Two hours later Molly called Arthur to tell him Ron was missing.


Post Notes:

Was looking to make sure I spelled it right and found this link indicating that Hamunaptra was actually in India not Egypt and thought that it was just the sort of misdirection a magical society that really wanted to stay hidden without harming others might use as a distraction and so decided to use it as such in the story. Here is the link to that site if you want to see what it says.: wiki. answers Q/Is_Hamunaptra_a_real_Egyptian_city.