These characters are provided by JK Rowling. I will not make any money from this unfortunately.

I have always wondered how Snape got roped into being Lockhart's assistant for the dueling club


Another day and another inane staff meeting. However, I counted myself lucky that these meetings did not involve getting crucioed for bringing unfavourable news. Still I detested the toothache inducing confectionery and the pointless team building exercises that Dumbledore sometimes saw fit to surprise the staff with. However, this particular meeting was a bit more subdued than usual with the events of the year so far and the apparent opening of the chamber of secrets. To say that the staff was concerned was an understatement. Yet, the staff was attempting to put a brave face on it. I looked around at the other teachers and staff members. Many were falling asleep as was customary at these meetings. Others tended to enjoy the occasion as a social outlet in which to gossip about the students and their fellow staff members and even over some famous witches and wizards whose lives were chronicled in Witches Weekly and the Daily Prophet. The Headmaster was chewing on something sweet and sugary. Professor Trelawney was attempting to read Lockhart's palm. No doubt, she was informing him of yet another impending Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. Professors' McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, and even Madam Pompfrey were discussing the Quidditch season. I would have joined in just to get a rise out of McGonagall but I had a thumping headache. Besides, everyone knows that Slytherin will bounce back this year especially with the brooms Malfoy Senior provided. The look on her face once she had found out about our good luck was enough to sustain me for the time being. Dumbledore stood up and called for attention.

"Now that is all business covered I presume. Now I am off to get some fine mead from Madam Rosmerta."

There was a shuffling of feet as all the staff got up to leave. However, Lockhart's irritating voice interrupted me in my musings over my plans for the evening. I sat down again with a sigh.

"I have this fantastic idea for a club" he said excitedly.

"What was it now a lesson on how to smile charmingly or a pathetic attempt to start up his very own fan club in the school" I thought rolling my eyes.

He looked around expectantly at us all.

"Well don't keep us in suspense Gilderoy. What is this fantastic idea of yours then?" McGonagall asked sardonically. Good old McGonagall. She could deliver a witheringline almost as well as I could. Of course, the foolish man missed the sarcasm. I hate to admit it but this man probably could have outdone James Potter in arrogance and delusion if he had still been alive.

"A duelling club" he answered breathlessly.

"A duelling club!" I echo incredulously. I barely suppressed a snort.

"Yes that is what he said Severus" Dumbledore added dryly with a twinkle in his eye.

"Oooh I knew that you would be delighted Severus" Lockhart enthused slapping my back. I flinched at his informality and aimed my best glare at him. As always, the man was as clueless as ever and simply beamed at me.

"Well I do agree that it would be a good idea Gilderoy and I grant you permission to start the club" Dumbledore said. Lockhart began rubbing his hands together in glee.

"Just one more thing. I will need an assistant of courseā€¦" he said eyeing the staff greedily.

"The fool actually thinks that someone is going to volunteer to spend some of their free time listening to his pompous lies," I mused.

"Did you know that Filius was a champion in his day" Dumbledore offered mischievously but the little man was quick on the uptake.

"Gilderoy I really wish I could but much too busy" he squeaked. I smirked, as Lockhart looked crestfallen. Suddenly Lockhart turned to me of all people.

"I have heard that you are pretty nifty with your wandwork, Severus" he said.

"Oh that he is" interrupted MacGonagall before I could say a word.

"Yes top of the class in Charms in his day along with poor Lily Evans" added Flitwick.

"No I most certainly.." I began before Lockhart interrupted me.

"Now now Severus. No need to be modest here" he said waving away my protests. Before I could get a word in edgeways, Lockhart spoke up again.

"Very well. That is my assistant sorted now."

"Excuse me" I said finding my voice.

"Don't worry, Severus. I will go easy on you" he replied with a wink leaving me speechless once more.

With that he turned around and walked out the staff room door. I was furious.

"I simply refuse to be involved in that man's pathetic and self indulgent attempt to indoctrinate another generation of Lockhart wannabees" I announced pompously turning to the Headmaster.

"I do not think that you have any choice in the matter, Severus" the old man said chuckling. I turned away in disgust. The rest of the staff erupted in peals of laughter. I glared at them viciously.

"Ah now Severus, rage does not become you. I am sure that you will make a magnificent assistant" Dumbledore teased patting my arm. I shrugged him off.

"If that fool believes for one minute that I am going to allow him near me with a wand then he is even more delusional and brainless than I thought" I snarled.

"You could take full advantage and teach him a lesson. As the muggles say, every cloud has a silver lining. Don't deny that you have not itched to hex him" MacGonagall put to me. I rolled my eyes but I had to admit that the prospect of hexing that prat did sound rewarding. I concluded that, perhaps this little demonstration might not be so terrible at all. I smirked malevolently.