Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or Zac Efron... though I'm slightly obsessed with both!!!

The war was over, Voldemort was defeated, and the whole Great Hall was going wild with cheering students, some of whom were still bleeding. Harry was lifted up onto the crowd's shoulders, cheering as hard as any of them, pumping his fists in the air. Oliver Wood was sobbing as hard as he had when Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup back in Harry's third year, and he had taken it upon himself to lead an obnoxious, nonsensical cheer to celebrate the end of the war.

"WHAT TEAM?!?" Oliver shouted to the crowd of nameless Hogwarts students. (He probably meant to say "school", or something, but "team" was one of the few words Oliver knew how to use correctly.)






"HOGWARTS!" beamed Oliver Wood, proud to have a purpose in the narrative again.

"GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME!!!!" screamed the Hogwarts student body, without having any idea what game their heads were supposed to be in.

Laughing, Harry turned and saw Ginny, running toward him wearing a sexy, low-cut red dress she had definitely not been wearing during the battle only a few minutes before.

"Congratulations, Wildcat!" she squealed as she hugged him tightly.

"Ginny!" Harry muttered, embarrassed. "You're only supposed to call me that when we're alone together…"

She blushed as red as her hair, still beaming.

"How'd your battle go?" he asked her.

"Mummy killed Bellatrix and called her a bitch!" said Ginny proudly.

And at that moment, Harry was overcome with his deep love for this slutty redhead. He leaned in for a kiss…

"Hey Boy-Who-Lived!" said Ron, stepping in between them and holding Nagini's severed head in his hand. "We voted that you should keep this snake-head thing… or whatever…" He shoved it into Harry's hands.

"Uh… thanks, Ron," said Harry, deeply annoyed that his best friend had interrupted his snogging session with his little sister. Ron grinned and walked toward Hermione.

"So," he said to Hermione, "I guess this means you have to go to Australia and get your parents' memories back, huh?"

Hermione's eyes widened. "You mean like… on our honeymoon?!?!?"

Ron looked confused for a moment, then said, grinning, "Guess it must be my lucky day!"

Hermione squealed in a most un-Hermione-ish way and hurried over to Ginny, proclaiming "Ron just asked me to marry him!"

"Wow, that was quick!" said Ginny. Just then, Draco Malfoy and Goyle came over to her, the former looking rather hostile, and the latter looking rather hungry.

"Well, congratulations," said Draco with a scathing look at the way Harry was looking at Ginny. "I guess that the only way Harry and I will get together is if you cheat on him and he needs sympathy sex, so… don't screw the pooch."

Ginny looked appalled. Draco smiled and said, "That's my special way of saying, 'Take good care of the man I love!'" He giggled and walked away from the very confused redhead, who was now beginning to question Harry's heterosexuality (incredibly, for the first time).

"Hey Draco?" Draco turned to see Dean Thomas staring at him with a look of longing on his face. "I just wanted to say," Dean continued, "that even though your family's full of Death Eaters and you just lost the war and stuff, I still think you're great." He placed a slashy hand on Draco's shoulder as he continued, looking at the blonde Slytherin with a look of infatuation, "I… admire you so much."

"And why wouldn't you?" said Draco smugly, conveniently forgetting about his family full of Dark Wizards, his newly-found destitution, his father the convict, and, OH YEAH, his attempted Dumbledoreacide. "Now, buh-bye," he finished as he tried to push past a hurt-looking Dean.

"Wait!" cried Dean, not wanting to lose his lover; he rummaged in his pocket for a gift, and found a Dirigible Plum given to him by Luna the night she told him she loved him; apparently the gift of a Dirigible Plum was how the Crumple-Horned Snorkack expressed true love. Dean smiled and handed the orange radish-like vegetable to his true love. "I got you this Dirigible Plum…"

"Ew!" Draco interjected, wrinkling his perfect little nose at the sight of the vegetable, and he scurried off to find his parents. Goyle, however, who was very hungry, smiled at the sight of the edible-looking thing, and he snatched it from Dean, saying, "Thanks a lot, man."

Dean's eyes widened. "You can TALK?!?!?" He walked away dejected as Goyle began stuffing his face with the sign of his affection for Draco Malfoy. Meanwhile, Harry and the DA had gathered around Neville.

"Here ya go, Neville!" said Harry, shoving Nagini's bloody, maggot-infested, rotting head into Neville's hands. "After all, you're the one who killed the snake and made the only vaguely trophy-like thing in the entire battle! You deserve this rotten snake head… thing… you BAMF!" The student body roared its approval of Neville's newfound badassness; he grinned sheepishly and held the putrid decapitation close to his heart.

At that moment, the Hogwarts marching band came pouring into the Great Hall, led by George Weasley, who was grinning broadly thanks to the 17 Cheering Charms he had put on himself so he could forget that his twin was dead.

"Wait!" said Parvati Patil, looking bewildered. "Since when has Hogwarts had a marching band?"

"Since forever!" said Seamus Finnigan. "They play during halftime at all the Quidditch matches, don't you remember?"

"Quidditch doesn't have halftime…" began Ron, looking confused, but was cut off by Harry's squeals of joy.

"Oh my GAWD, a marching band! I thought all we had were the Magical Hufflepuff Toad Choir and the Triwizard Tournament Creepy Maze Ironic Pep Band!"

"How could you not know that?" asked Neville, looking stunned. "I played the tuba in it all seven years! I mean, um…" he faltered, realizing that tuba-playing was clashing with his new image as a BAMF. "Uh," Neville cleared his throat gruffly and puffed out his chest in an attempt to look more manly, "…Quidditch."

Now that the sudden appearance of a full marching band was no longer a shock, the survivors of the Battle of Hogwarts began to sing and dance, happy that the war was finally over and that the bodies had all been moved so they wouldn't trip over them during their dance. They all began to sing:

Together, together, together everyone!

Together, together, come on, let's have some fun!

Together, we're there for each other every time!

Together, together, come on, let's do this right!

Here and now, it's time for celebration, sang Harry,

I finally figured it out! (Yeah, yeah! sang the centaurs.)

The Deathly Hallows beat all Tom's Horcruxes

That's what it's all about!

Ginny sang:

"Everyone helped Harry save the wo-orld

We make each other strong…"

"We make each other strong," echoed Hermione and Luna rather unnecessarily.

"Now he and I, can finally get married," Ginny continued,

"Together's where we belo-oooong…"

And now all the Hogwartsians began to sing:

"We're all in this together!

'Cept for the, Slytherins, 'cause we know, they're all evil!

We're all in this together,

And it shows, when we stand, hand in hand,

Make our dreams come truuueeeee!"

And now Ron got up and stood on the teacher's table, singing:

"We're all here, and speaking out with one voice!

We're gonna rock the Hall! ("Rock the Hall!" squealed thousands of tiny house-elves.)

The party's on, now everybody make some noise,

Come on, scream and shout!"

Ron dove off the table into a crowd of Hufflepuffs, but since they were just little wimpy Hufflepuffs they collapsed under his weight. Draco came strutting in from the entrance hall alone, wishing to congratulate (in song, of course) his schoolmates on winning the war:

"You were right, because you stuck together!

Champions, one and all," sang Draco in his high, girly voice that made Dean and Harry swoon. Ginny slapped them both back into straightness as they took up the chorus again.

"We're all in this together!

'Cept for the, Slytherins, 'cause we know, they're all evil!

We're all in this together,

And it shows, when we stand, hand in hand,

Make our dreams come…

We're all in this together!

Get your Nimbus and fly, know inside we can make it!

We're all in this together,

Once we see, there's a chance, to kill Voldemort, and he takes it!"

And now the students began crowding around Harry and singing in his honor:

"Wildcat, sing along!

Yeah, you really got it goin' on!

Wildcat's in the house!

Everybody, sing it now!

Wildcat's over there

Wave your hands up in the air!

That's the way he do it,

Let's get to it, time to show the world!"

"GINNY!!!" Harry bellowed as the song continued. "I told you not to call me that in public! Now I'll never be able to live that nickname down!!!!" He burst into very unmanly tears, which deterred the crowd from singing about him and so they resumed their inspirational battle cry:

"We're all in this together!

'Cept for the, Slytherins, 'cause we know, they're all evil!

We're all in this together,

And it shows, when we stand, hand in hand,

Make our dreams come…

We're all in this together!

Get your Nimbus and fly, know inside we can make it!

We're all in this together,

Once we see, there's a chance, to kill Voldemort, and he takes it!

Wizards, everywhere,

Wave your hands up in the air!

That's the way we do it,

Let's get to it,

C'mon, everyone!"

The song had ended, but the Marching Hog Warts played on, still conducted by George with that insane grin on his face only an overdose on Cheering Charms could cause.

Harry and his friends gathered around and had a group hug, still moving their feet in time to the music and grinning like a bunch of kids at the happy ending of a Disney movie.

"Wow, that went better than I expected," remarked Ginny. "Who knew we were all that good at song improvisation?"

"And who would have believed that we all did the exact same dance moves?" added Ron.

"AND that we're all dressed alike!" Harry threw in. They all looked down; indeed, they were all wearing their Hogwarts uniforms, even the parents who hadn't been students at the school in 50 years. They all looked up, shrugged, and went back to their freestylin'.

After 18 solid hours of partying, the marching band had all collapsed from exhaustion, so the weary battlers had gone to bed… all except poor, rejected Dean Thomas, all alone in the Great Hall, kicking at some rubble dejectedly. Then, the doorway was graced with the presence of a gorgeous someone…

"That Dirigible Plum was brilliant… the most wonderful thing I've ever gotten! Will you get me some more, Dean?!?"

Dean looked up just in time to be knocked back by the most intense embrace he had ever experienced. Looking right into his new lover's eyes, he grinned and said seductively, "I might even make you a crème brulee…"

Gregory Goyle squealed happily.