Oh hai, guyz. Eheh. Sooooo… about this chapter. I'm iffy on it, honestly. I don't know what happened to my writing, but the whole thing just seems really choppy, despite the fact that it's a pretty decent length. Gah. I dunno. Anyway, I'll let you decide for yourselves.
I hope that all of you have learned from recent happenings. The twelve FBI agents, while the knowledge they provided can be argued as essential, were a terrible loss and it was my own lack of foresight that caused their deaths—a mistake I do not plan to make again, and I expect you to realize the value of human life and those who will be working under you in the future. Never forget or take that lightly.
You will not be receiving updates on such a regular basis from this point forward, as I will now be working in the physical presence of several detectives from the Japanese NPA. While I trust them, to a reasonable degree, I do not want even the slightest hint of the existence and importance of you or the House to be made known to them. I will write when I can.
Happy Christmas and New Year, I hope you were all satisfied with your gifts.
On the first day of the new year, L's—or rather, Ryuzaki's, as he had taken to signing after that business in L.A.—customary email appeared in each of his protégés' inboxes, accompanied by an attachment titled, simply, Rankings.
The document was written in code, and Near—to Mello's great fury—was the first to successfully decipher it. The younger boy appeared at his and Matt's door early that afternoon with a hand written translation of the ranking list, which he deposited in a fuming Mello's hands before turning and heading silently down the hall in the direction of the common room.
The blond slammed the door violently, rousing Matt from the worlds of Kingdom Hearts, and stared sullenly down at the damning list that would forever govern his life.
Always at the top… always on the line right above his own name… always first. Near. Damnit. He crumpled the paper in his fist furiously.
It was the third name that raised eyebrows this year. Matt shrugged noncommittally when Mello inquired as to how, exactly, the redhead had miraculously shot up two places to claim the third rank.
"Guess all that studying you forced me into actually paid off," he replied simply, turning his back on Mello's wide-eyed stare and returning to his video game.
"How the hell are you getting all this stuff?" Mello asked, face contorted in a mixture of curiosity and exasperation as he thoughtlessly set two boxes and a gaming magazine on his roommate's bed.
Matt dropped his pencil and pounced, sending his desk chair toppling to the floor as he snatched up the larger box and ripped into it with a veritable squeal. "It came! It finally came!" he cried excitedly, ignoring the blond as he sat down next to him on the edge of the bed, watching as the younger boy sifted happily through the packing peanuts.
The redhead squirmed delightedly, reverently removing the Xbox from its packaging and tenderly divesting it of the last remnants of the styrofoam peanuts. Mello's mouth fell open at the sight of it, clambering closer in disbelief as Matt stroked the system lovingly.
"Holy—what the— Amazon? Seriously?" Mello threw the delivery receipt he'd been scrutinizing aside, digging out the plastic bag of games hidden in the bottom of the box and grimacing at them in disgust. "How the hell are you paying for all this? There's no way your allowance is covering it all."
"I got a credit card," Matt replied casually over his shoulder, already on the floor in front of the television, hooking the Xbox up.
"What!?" Mello roared, throwing the games at his friend's back in disbelief, "You gave away your personal information? You gave them your name and address!? What the hell is wrong with you!?"
"Relax, Mello," the redhead replied, shooting the older boy an irritated glance and rubbing at the small of his back where the corner of a game case had made impact, "All of the credit card information is under a fake name, and the billing address is different from the shipping address. How stupid do you think I am? Seriously, it's cool. So chill. Where did you think I was getting all my PlayStation games, anyway? And shouldn't you be more worried about the fact that I'm only fourteen?"
Mello blinked at him, shaking his head. "Like I give a shit how you break the law. What if some one tracked you down, though? You do realize that you technically don't exist, right?"
"Um, yeah. And may I kindly remind you of just which of us is the computer genius, here? I've got it under control, Mel. Stop wigging out on me."
Mello rolled his eyes, fiddling absently with the corner of Matt's comforter as he watched the redhead scoot back against the bed frame and snatch up a controller, meticulously customizing the setup of his console. "…What else have you been getting?"
"Stuff. Games, mostly. I preordered Halo 2 and a bunch of others coming out this year… oh! And I found a sweet vampire costume that I'm gonna order for Halloween." Mello could see the other boy's excited grin as well as if it were wrapping itself all the way around his head, and he smiled affectionately at the crimson hair.
"It's March, dipshit."
Matt rolled his eyes. "Duh. I'm not that stupid, Mel, we've been over this. I'm not gonna order it now. Yeesh. You're just jealous."
Mello scoffed, sprawling back across the gamer's bed and crossing his arms over his chest haughtily. "Jealous? No fucking way am I giving out any information that can be traced back to me. Also, Roger would string you up by your pinky nails if he knew about this. You're lucky I happened to be walking by as it was being delivered."
The younger boy cocked his head thoughtfully. "Mm. I had a feeling you might do a little bitching about that. So I took the liberty of getting some insurance."
Mello blinked, mildly offended. "What, you thought I would sell you out to Roger? Is my honor worth so little to you? Do you really have to stoop so low as to bribe me?" He paused, and Matt shifted slowly to grin knowingly at him over his shoulder. "…What'd you get me?"
The redhead laughed, tilting his chin at the forgotten box lying behind Mello on the bed. "I was gonna get you something chocolate-y… but I figured that was lame and predictable—though I did find this awesome website that sold, like, solid chocolate sculptures. I was reeeeeally tempted to get you a life-sized chocolate me." Matt snorted, turning back to the television screen. "Then whenever you pissed me off, I could be all like 'Eat me!'" He giggled uproariously at his own joke as, behind him, a subtle blush painted itself across pale cheeks at the thought, "But even I won't go that far for a joke. So, I got you those."
Mello coughed, clearing his throat as he carefully watched the back of Matt's head to make sure he didn't turn around before the blush died down. Licking his lips distractedly, he scrambled for the other box and ripped into it.
"Figured you should broaden your music collection," Matt commented without turning around, as the blond shuffled through the CDs that had been dumped into his lap.
He smiled lightly. David Bowie, Pink Floyd, Three Days Grace, Linkin Park, AC/DC, My Chemical Romance, Apcalyptica, Queen… "The fuck, Matt? t.A.T.u?"
Matt laughed, flicking his bangs out of his eyes distractedly. "Every CD collection needs a dirty little secret. Be happy I didn't get you a Billie Piper CD. Heh, remember her?" Mello rolled his eyes in unnoticed reply. "Hey, wanna play with me?" the redhead continued after a minute, pressing a final button with a flourish before turning imploring eyes on his friend. "I feel that my brand new Soul Calibur II and your brand new Apocalyptica would be a rather epic combo."
I am afraid that from this point forward, I must insist that we cease these e-mails. The case has reached a potentially hazardous point. In order to continue the investigation I am placing a suspect under constant surveillance. This means that the suspect will be in my presence every waking moment, and I cannot run the risk of his discovering your existence. Any and all hints of you will be irreversibly erased from my personal laptop, as the suspect will have the opportunity to gain access to it in the course of this confinement.
This will be the last contact we have until this case has been successfully closed. Thus, I bid you all goodbye for now, and ask you to keep up with your studies so that we may resume immediately upon my return.
Mello cracked his neck with a contented sigh, hefting his book bag uncomfortably as he rounded the corner in the direction of the dorm rooms, on his way back from the library.
"Yes!" he blinked, pausing outside his and Matt's room before pushing the door silently back on its hinges as the redhead's excited shout rang out from behind it. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!"
Inside, the redhead pumped his fist triumphantly before quickly saving and turning to Abbie, who was sitting at the foot of Matt's bed, smiling affectionately at his exuberance. "Beat a boss?" she asked needlessly, glancing over at the pause screen. Outside the door, Mello had to stifle a scoff. 'No shit, Sherlock. Matt never gets that excited about anything but winning a boss fight.'
"Only the toughest bitch ever written!" Matt grinned excitedly in reply, setting the controller aside and bouncing happily, hands on his ankles.
"Congratulations!" She smiled, setting her manga aside and crawling forward on hands and knees to press a soft kiss to Matt's lips.
Mello's bookbag hit the wooden floor of the hallway with a subdued thump, his breath hitching in shock. Back inside, cerulean eyes went wide in surprise for a second, shoulders stiffening imperceptibly, before Matt quickly forced himself to relax and reach up to wrap unsure hands around his girlfriend's forearms, returning the kiss.
Mello was gone before Matt's eyes drifted closed, sprinting down the hall with no real destination—as long as it was away. He bit his lip furiously, refusing to think, refusing to remember, refusing to question why the sight of his best friend kissing his girlfriend had seemed to rip its way violently through his sternum and mercilessly slash his heart to shreds.
Of course they kissed. She was his fucking girlfriend. They'd been dating for months—what had he thought? That Abbie would be content with just the title? That all they did was cuddle? Yeah right. Why was it such a big deal, anyway…? So what, if they kissed. But, fuck, the damned girl was everywhere! She was slowly infiltrating every aspect of Matt's life and… and damnit, he was Mello's best friend! Who the hell did she think she was, kissing Mello's property!?
"Do you really like her that much?"
"Well, she's nice, Mel. She likes video games, and she reads comics… she gets it. And besides, not having to worry about girls and dating is… nice. Dating Abbie's basically like hanging out with… you. But not you, 'cause you're you, and—well, anyway, I don't really need to do anything romantic or anything. It's awesome."
"Fuck!" Mello gasped, stumbling to a halt and collasping against the wall beside the large front double doors. He furiously shoved golden hair out his face, breathing heavily as he fumbled sightlessly for the door handle, tripping desperately outside and throwing himself down the steps. 'If it isn't that important… if you just want a friend… why the fuck do you need her!? You're not s'posed to need anyone but me! Just me!'
The sound of excited cheering drew him from his thoughts and he glanced up, watching as a boy, maybe a little older than himself, darted past, kicking a ball down a stretch of grass in the direction of a goal on the opposite side of the yard.
"Oh, hey, Mello," another teen panted as he slowed to a halt in front of the blond, wiping his sweaty forehead on the sleeve of his shirt as he watched the goal be scored.
Mello didn't reply, his gaze drawn instead to the pack of children making their way slowly back toward center field, ready for a new face off. "Can I play?" he asked suddenly, pegging the kid in front of him with piercing eyes.
The other boy blinked, uncertain. The blond prodigy had never made any attempt to join in their games, at least not in the last few years… ever since the whole alias thing and L started coming back more often. "Sorry, Mello," he ventured carefully, "we don't really have any more room on the team." Disconcerting emerald eyes zeroed in on him once more and he shifted uncomfortably, stepping back a few paces as Mello glared at him. "Well… uh, actually… I was just getting ready to head in. Y-you can have my spot. Forward. Y-yeah. Go for it."
Mello nodded in satisfaction at his retreating back, before jogging out to take up the empty position in front of the ball. He ignored the curious stares from his teammates and locked eyes with his opponent, who looked slightly uncomfortable. He sneered, feeling a rush of competitive adrenaline surging through his veins, pushing all thoughts of Matt and his clingy girlfriend and the lips and everything attached to them that should only belong to Mello out of his mind.
"Go!" he snarled, viciously kicking the ball straight through the other team's player and sprinting after it. It took less than a second for the children to come to their senses, and in an instant a howling, shrieking pack was hot on Mello's heals as he pelted down the field toward the goal.
Mello yawned widely, scribbling his name and a hasty 11/30/04 at the top of the page. He took a deep, satisfied breath, idly scratching the back of his head as he glanced out the window to see that night had long since fallen. He blinked, surprised at how long he'd been pouring over his essay. Getting up, he rubbed his eyes lazily, before quickly organizing the desk. An evening snack was definitely in order….
Turning, he made it halfway across the room before the door burst open in a swirl of red hair and black cloth. He stopped short as Matt glided to a halt and leered at him, decked out in silky black from top to bottom, heavily kohled saphire eyes glittering mischievously, his rather too-sharp looking canine teeth glinting.
"I'm a vampire!" he yelled gleefully, throwing out his arms dramatically and grinning, "I have come to suck your blood!" He made a hissing noise, clawing in Mello's direction. "C'mon, Mel! I only just finally got the costume…I've been waiting a month for this! Play along, yeah?" he whined when Mello made no move.
The blond stood dumbfounded for a moment, before a playful smirk danced across his lips in reply. He backed up a pace in mock fear, one hand scrabbling at the headboard of his bed. "Back, oh foul beast from hell!" he cried, yanking the crucifix over the knob it had been dangling from and brandishing it at Matt.
Matt recoiled theatrically, shrieking and shielding his eyes. Mello advanced, laughing outrageously, until he had the redhead pinned to the wall beside their door. "Haha!" he crowed triumphantly, stepping closer until their faces were inches apart, the cross nearly brushing the tip of Matt's nose.
Kholed eyes narrowed and pale lips drew back in a snarl, before Matt knocked Mello's hand aside, sending the cross skittering across the floor back in the general direction of the blond's bed. Mello had time to blink at his empty hand in shock, then up at Matt's face before he was tackled to the ground. A surprised grunt accompanied their fall, but there was hardly a pause before the struggle resumed.
Matt cackled maniacally, systematically pinning each of Mello's flailing limbs down before sitting on him victoriously and giving them both a moment to regain their breath. He leaned down, letting his slightly too-long bangs brush across Mello's flushed cheeks as the blond glared up at him defiantly.
"You smell good," he purred teasingly, "Can I bite you?"
Mello pursed his lips, glaring. "Of course not!" he growled, "Did Van Helsing just let flipping Dracula bite him at the climax? No!" He bucked up, attempting to dislodge the other boy, just as Matt twisted, licking his lips and going playfully for Mello's throat. Matt grunted in surprise as a bony knee rammed into the back of his thigh, throwing him off balance and sending him lurching forward.
"Ow!" Mello shrieked as sharp canines nicked the skin of his cheek. Matt froze, eyes widening as he pulled back, watching the other boy rub at the cut. "I'm sorry, Mel!" he yelped frantically, fumbling to remove Mello's hand and check the damage for himself.
"Get off, you pissant!" Mello growled, shoving Matt away and getting to his feet, scooping up his rosary and yanking open the bottom drawer of the bureau to retrieve the small First Aid Kit required of every room in the orphanage.
"Here, let me do it!" Matt squeaked, lunging forward.
Mello rolled his eyes at the theatrics, reluctantly giving way to Matt as the redhead dug frantically through the kit for a Band-Aid. He pouted, rubbing at his cheek. "How'd you get those things so sharp, anyway?" he muttered.
Matt grinned mischievously over his shoulder, a sparkle of pride in cerulean eyes. "Told you, it was a special order," he said simply, "They were flippin' expensive too. That's why I was so pissed when they lost the package. 's here, now, though." He smiled contentedly, shaking his head as he turned back to the first aid kit.
Mello blinked, feeling a warm blush creep across his cheeks at that smile. With a short cough, he turned away, busying himself with returning the rosary to its rightful place at the head of his bed as Matt kicked the drawer closed behind him.
"Oi, c'mere," the redhead beckoned, gesturing to the edge of Mello's mattress.
With one last cursory feel of his cheek to make sure the blush had faded, Mello covered the few steps to the bed and plopped down, glaring up at his friend with a forced disdain before his attention was caught by the crackling of the Band-Aid wrapper.
Matt pressed his lips together, his brows knitting in concentration as he slowly smoothed the Band-Aid into place, careful not to let a single spot of scratched skin escape his attention. Mello watched him intently, his eyes widened and his brows furrowed comically in his attempt to see past his own nose.
"There!" Matt exclaimed with a smile, settling back on his knees as his thumb continued to worry at the bandage, "Good as new!"
The blond scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You'd better hope so," he growled dangerously, narrowing his eyes threateningly at him.
The other boy smiled gently. "Don't worry, Mel. I'll never be responsible for marring your perfect face." He scooted forward a bit, pressing closer to his friend, eyes sparkling mischievously. "And besides, I'm not sure it'd even be possible to make you ugly. You could burn your face off 'n' still be pretty."
Mello arched a brow at the younger boy, sniffing disdainfully. He opened his mouth haughtily, a scathing reply dancing on the tip of his tongue, before the gentle caress at his cheek stole his attention. Matt's hand was still there, thumb tracing unconsciously up and away from the Band-Aid, over the smooth skin of Mello's temple… warm palm sliding slowly, unknowingly to cup his jaw as the redhead grinned happily down at his friend.
Emerald eyes roamed the smooth angles of a face not quite finished with its transition into maturity, drinking in the light dusting of freckles, the small scar on one crimson eyebrow—distinguishable only in close proximity—drifting down to trace full—yet still rather boyish—lips as the last hints of Matt's friendly smile slipped away. "…Mel… are you okay…?" he asked worriedly.
Mello glanced up, freezing as his gaze met wide sapphire for a long moment. A dozen or more thoughts were clamoring in the blond's mind, demanding his attention, but everything went deathly silent as he pressed thoughtlessly forward, his lips automatically searching out those of the startled redhead before him.
Matt gasped and stiffened as Mello's trembling fingers buried themselves in unexpectedly soft crimson hair. Emerald eyes slid closed slowly, and he tilted his head, shifting closer when the younger boy didn't pull away. How could Abbie dare lay claim to this…? Nothing had ever felt so right.
They stayed frozen like that for a long moment, lips barely touching, hardly more than a mingling of breaths.
And then, the world came crashing violently back down.
Matt wrenched away, shoving Mello back to crash against the wall on the opposite side of the bed. There was a flurry of bed sheets and the pounding of footsteps, and then the door slammed shut, leaving Mello crumpled in the corner of the bed, staring wide-eyed at the empty air where his best friend had been less than a minute before. He blinked in confused horror, feeling the blood turn to ice in his veins as he slowly pushed himself up.
'Shit. What've I done…?'
To be continued.
Oh, god, please don't kill me, guys! I know, this is the worst chapter ever! Our last glimpse of L coupled with that ending… I know I deserve a hardcore beating…. Ugh.
On another note (heh): Holy crap, guys! 37 reviews on one chapter!? You guys're way too freaking good to me. I love you all so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you! And since there is apparently an overwhelming surge of approval for review replies at the end of the chapter, I will continue! …At least for now. Woot!
Kaze Kimizu: lol, I misled you. Sorry. Not the guy love you were expecting, huh? But yay for no Near! … Man, I hate that guy. Glad you liked last chapter, at least! aya: Aw! Of course I'd still do the bottom response thing at least for the people without accounts! I love y'all too much! And yeah, I read Welcome to Wammy. I friggin' loved it and it made me emo in a corner for a while 'cause this story'll never get that good! Haha. Anyhoo. Thank you for your continued patronage, my friend. Hope the tension didn't kill you. Lawl. camikaza: I hate having to make it somewhat realistic, since realistically Matt would probably be all "WTF, boy!kisses!? OMG, NO!" at first. (Sobs) Why, Matty, why!? …friggin' Near. (Grumbles) Well, thanks for the review, as always! Anime is for the Kindhearted: Who in their right mind wouldn't have a crush on Matt? It's Matt! Heh. Thanks for the review!! 8D Poshi, formerly known as the Chaos Apple: Aw, man, really? But I was so used to the other name. Geh. Wtfmorevaginas, indeed. Stupid Matt. I can just picture Mello's hair argument and Matt all "WTF, man?" lol! thinlimitation: Demyx Time FTW! I think I have a girl crush on Kelly and Jenn. Lol. They're the cutest couple ever. …Aside from MxM. Heh. …I kinda delivered the boy lovin', yeah? Ack. Silly Matty. Accept the gay, Matt! Haha! Thanks for the review, as always! Twentyfiveraven: Oh man, that song is really sad. D8 But I love it. I think I'll keep this way of responding at least through the end of the first part, then we'll see what happens for part 2. Thanks for the review! I want your plushies! Lol. Carrot The LuvMachine: Well, not playing, but… OMFGone!!11one! We just figured out last night that Light is Riku in the original Japanese KH. OMG! Riku is Light! Light is Riku! Riku is Tamaki! And KIBA! Oh dear GOD! My brain exploded. Haha! I'm glad my characters are realistic. I do get ever-so-paranoid about them…. Melii Aile: Haha! Okay! They stay for now!! Lol, glad you liked the kiss. I thought it was cute, too. Hee. Shai-san: EEK! Thank you! I'm so glad you like it that much! That's quite a compliment, as there are some kickass DN fics out there. Woot! Thank you so much for the review! Demon Hiei's Girl: Jealous enough for ya? XD Poor li'l Mello. Only the majority of the kiss was written… and I have a really short attention span. Lol! So, that's why it took so long! Sorry!! Trinny Dream: I hate having to write L's death… thing, as he won't be shown dying. Man, I love L. (Whimper) Glad you liked it!! AXENATION: Haha! Oh, man! I bet B would try it, too! That would be hilarious! The entire orphanage would be all "WTF? L finally lost the rest of his marbles…." Lol. And I would pay to see Mello and Abbie duel… or at least the person Abbie is based off of. That would be the best thing ever. There would be so much dirty fighting. Also, may I say that the last sentence-phrase-thing of your review is the best thing ever. I've quoted it several times, and I love it. Thanks as usual for the review! Heart. kira-kira: Glad you like it! Thanks for the review, I really appreciate it! 8) BitterxSweetxApathy: Fear not! This story is of the MelloxMatt!Boy!Lovin' variety. It's just taking a while to work up to it. So don't you worry. We'll get there soon. Cheshire Misfit: I do love me some Axel 'n' Roxas. They're so friggin' adorable. My friend and I about died last night when we found out that Axel and Aizawa are the same Japanese voice actor. When we watch DN tonight, we cracked up every time we saw Aizawa. It was brilliant. I'm glad you appreciate the slow pace, I know some people probably find it a little off-putting, so I'm glad to know some people like it! Sorry it took so long to update! Wicked Lovelace: Really? Wow! I'm glad you liked it that much! It seems like the less I like a chapter, the more you guys all like it. Lol. Maybe that says something about my grasp on my own story… heh. Resolutions next chapter!! Damned Lolita: He's freaking hard to write! GAH! But, anyway, thanks for the review!! Hope you were okay with this chapter! Rae and Arakni: Thanks for the review! I'm so glad to hear you like it, and hope you continue to! Raea.In.Eden: I second that no one is updating. It's the collective consciousness; all the DN writers are in blah mode. Lol. Glad you liked it!! Hope this chapter's okay! XHelloXGoodbyeX: Updated! Woot! Hope you liked it, thanks so much for the review! Loverly Lawliet: In my dreams, L is a doting Father figure, Light is sane, and Mello is in tune and honest with his emotions. Lol. But then the story wouldn't be so interesting! XD I can't believe the story's one of your favorites! I just can't fathom it with how many brilliant fics there are out there… but I'll take all the praise I can get! (Is praise-whore) Thanks you soooooo much! Hair-Noodles: Dude, I know. It was so ballsy to take out L. There were so many people who just stopped reading it after he died… man. Anyhoo… thanks for the review, as usual, I always love them!! 1337: Lol, that might not be wise, since I'm so bad at updating! But on the bright side, things are changing and soon we will have the MxM we all know and love! suberXxXduperXxXfun machine: lol, I hope you didn't fail! Glad you like it, and thank for the review! Near the Kazekage: One time, my friend's ex-boyfriend named his file "Bob," so every time they addressed him, all the drama was murdered. "Thank you, BOB, the Hero of Time!" just doesn't have the same ring to it. Lawl. Fool4Sasuke33: Lack of Near is always a good thing! And as for the reviews… (my fingers are dead!) there're so many I might have to start using the function, but I really love doing it this way… (is conflicted) I hope the me-thinking-it's-bad equals reviewers-thinking-it's-good thing continues, 'cause this chapter irks me. Geh! Thanks for the review! Love it, as always! ficktion: lol, it's cool, since I think my MelloMatt stuff is my best to date. And… well, I certainly love guy love. XD Haha! Thank you so much for the review, I'm so glad you like the things I write… I'm so glad I'm not just writing for my own benefit. That would suck. Oi. JigokuHana: Update! I hope you continue to like it, thank you for the review! GoggleGamer: Yeah, the anime gives us such power of their characters… it's almost sick! Haha. Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like it! blahweeblah626: Proper eye colors FTW! YAY! Thanks for the review! Living in a fantasy: Haha, Matt's driven me to video games as well. Damn him. Heh. I'm so glad you like the story… I hope you continue to enjoy it! Moonlight Fire: You can, indeed! As I've mentioned before, I'm a review whore. Lol. I'm so glad you like it! Thank you for the review! offender229: I love writing fluff… too bad Therkin's dubbed me "The Murder of Fluff." Oi. Which you got a tiny, tiny taste of this chapter. Haha. Anyway, I'm glad you like it! Thanks for the review! Demon's sinner: I hope this chapter was up to your expectations… or at least, close. Thanks so much for taking the time to review, I appreciate it so much! Riffti: lol, thank you! I'm glad you like it! I hope your inner fangirl doesn't hate me now!