AN- Alright, loves, here we go. First off, let me start by saying that this story is gonna shoot it's predecessor down in terms of drama. For those just joining, that's fine, but I wish you'd read Violins, Light, first. You might be able to keep up without it, I dunno. But this one is not a comedy. It's going to be fairly intense and I hope to double my word count. Chapters will be longer than this, this is just setting the tone. I must state that I am extending the notorious time frame between Higuchi's capture and L's death somewhat accommodate this story.
Ladies and Gents, this is Mikanis writing seriously...I do so hope that you can see the difference. (bows.)
Disclaimer: Will never own Deathnote, nor do I really desire to.
Step Lightly, Mikanis
"Stop looking at me, Yagami-kun." L pretended not to hear the wounded retort. If the young man covertly stared at him any longer, his next glance would find L's heel on collision-course with Light's temple. The chain was off, gone for two days now, and he was surprised that he felt more vulnerable when he wasn't chained to the young murderer. He'd thought that after sharing a bed with Kira…months of eating, sleeping, breathing in his presence…He'd thought freedom would be a relief.
Instead, it only led to the worst paranoia the detective had ever known.
And that was saying something.
"We've already caught one Kira, L. I thought you'd cheer up a little."
"We didn't catch a Kira. We caught a man using Kira's power. Higuchi didn't earn the name."
"Don't make it a title, Ryuuzaki." So he was back to the pseudonym…Light was annoyed.
L didn't care.
"You misunderstood me. I regard the name much like I would a stray dog that wouldn't leave my street…you give it a name so that you know who you're kicking."
Not that L would ever kick a dog…but Light was in full-kira mode now, and the remark bit deeply. He hated disrespect.
L was at a loss on how to treat this new side of Light…he didn't regard it as a separate personality, more…a role. Light was playing Kira, and Light Yagami at the same time. While that spoke of identity crisis, L couldn't bring himself to regard them as separate people. After all, Light was perfectly aware of his actions. He knew what he was doing, more so than any average person could ever know. He was a genius. L sighed…it was ironic that Light's brilliance only made him a better criminal. Of course it did though, if not, L would have caught him within a month.
L bit off a piece of his rock-candy. He'd been self-medicating the last few days, taking sugar in its most crude forms…rock candy, sugar cubes, icing, and honey…Twinkies…
Americans were evil.
There was a God of Death in the room with him. L was surprised no one had started asking the forbidden questions yet…they all seem half-scared of it. Except L himself…and Light, he supposed. Still, he couldn't convince himself that Light kept glancing at the reaper solely out of nerves. There was something there…there was always something there.
The expression Light wore fit him like a mask that was too small. There were hard edges, solid stone where it hadn't been before. He looked older, haunted.
L hoped he'd start having nightmares now.
The thought made him paused briefly, and he bit down again, crushing more sugar into his mouth and bloodstream. He didn't like wishing things like that about his friend, truly he didn't, but it was necessary. If he didn't begin to detach himself, things would go horribly wrong. It was bad enough to know that he'd sign the witness register the day Light Yagami got his injection…but he fully intended to be there.
To do that, he had to survive this case. To do that…he had to survive Light Yagami.
L thought back to his violin…hidden away from both himself and Light for now. He wasn't sure how much Light would change now that he'd taken up his Kira mantle again…but he wouldn't let it destroy the only gift the murderer had ever given. He also didn't trust himself…right now, he wanted nothing more than to be away from Light and anything to do with him. The removal of the cuffs was almost a mockery.
Light was still staying in the same room. The Detective hadn't thought that the case would still be open when the cuffs finally came off, and hadn't prepared for it. At least not with the security standards that he planned to impose on the boy. There was no third suite, and while Misa was no longer staying in the building, Light couldn't sleep in her room either. L had not yet it searched it for any trace of evidence. Until Watari found the time to prepare another suite (roughly a week to have the necessary security measures installed and integrated into the current system), Light was stuck with L. L wasn't comfortable with that anymore. In one of his 'Light-moments', as L was beginning to call them, he'd laughed at the detective for his new apprehension. L had taken an hour to very carefully and very painfully explain the reasons. Light was seething by the time he'd finished.
He wanted to play…right now he wished nothing more than to have his fingers on the strings, to play so loudly that the team couldn't hear themselves think. He wanted to play until he himself could no longer think. He wanted to play so that just for a moment, Kira, and Light, and death gods, and even murder didn't exist.
Upon returning from the capture, however, he'd realized that he'd never be able to play that violin while Light Yagami lived. He'd never be able to play in the shadow of Kira. He'd stood there, staring down at that divine, that sacrilegiously beautiful violin, for almost an hour. Light had finally looked up and asked him if he was going to play or not. He'd snapped…something that a few hours earlier might have implied a headache, and now implied dozens of things that it shouldn't have. L had looked up at him, seen his face, seen that guarded look in his eyes…and he'd wanted to cut the strings and burn it. Those eyes inspired a rage in him that nothing else did.
Kira's gift, it was Kira's mockery.
He couldn't help but think it, even though he knew that the violin was given to him by whatever innocence still resided in Light's heart. Though it was Light's hands that had given it to him…it would be Kira's eyes that watched him play.
L couldn't stand the thought of it.
The idea drove all the expected relief from the notion of playing. It robbed him of his desire to touch the bow, to even stroke the case. It was like letting Kira touch him, letting the murderer hold his hand. He'd kept the ribbon. He'd tied it to his bed post, the one reminder of the real Light that he allowed himself to keep.
If he tore the ribbon to shreds in one of his rants, then at least he could replace it. That violin was Light's guilt embodied…and that was priceless. That was worth more than a signed confession from Light in L's hand, that was worth more to him than even the death of Kira. It showed that somewhere, somehow, Light Yagami was a human being. It showed that he felt the same things that other people did, that he was capable of existing as a real person, not the various masks he put up. It showed that underneath the masks, there was real face.
L supposed in a way that he was mocking him in return.
Light was staring at him again.
"Yagami-kun, you should be working."
"You're lying. I slaved your computer ten minutes ago…you haven't had control to work with. Now, read the report I put up for you."
Light glanced at his screen and sighed to himself. L couldn't stand it when the teen looked at him anymore.