Started at 3:43 pm Monday afternoon
September 24th, 2007
Finished at 1:29 am Tuesday morning
September 25th, 2007
Same time zone as New York and Florida

Summary: "...You've got a plan, don't you Mello?" The blond haired boy, face drawn with a fatigue that could not be understood by anyone in this lifetime, did not answer him. "...We're going to die, aren't we?" Dark eyes opened, barely slits beneath Mello's pale lids, and he smiled at his red haired friend, the final smile Matt would ever see. "Yes."

Authors Notes: Don't ask me what inspired this, I'm not even sure at this point. It's somewhat of a Matt centric, and though there aren't any major implications of it until the end, it is in fact a shounen-ai fic.

Disclaimer: I am a writer of fanfiction; I do not make any money from this. Matt, Mello, Kira, and anything else I mentioned that had to do with Death Note are not my property, nor did I create them. I also did not create the PSP. I don't even have a PSP.

Beta Reader: Ashley the Speed Addict

Rated: T Just to be safe.

Irrevocable Addiction

"Yes." There was a long pause, Matt noted with uncertainty, gaze shifting between the phone in his friends' hands and the disfiguring scar that forever marked him as a failure in his quest for greatness. "Then I guess I'm going to have to do it." He hung up the phone, set it down on the table in front of them both without making a sound, as though afraid to break the silence. Matt watched as he went to take a bite of his chocolate bar, hand shaking imperceptibly, but he stopped himself short, instead placing it on the table not far from the phone.

A soft, inaudible sigh slipped past Matt's lips as he turned back to his videogame, the buttons making quiet clicking sounds as he killed one zombie after the other with his PSP and a million different cheat codes for power up's. He'd made it to the final boss of the game, and still the blond haired man hadn't spoken; probably formulating plans in that overly-stuffed head of his, Matt thought, attempting to keep the panic he could feel beginning to take hold at bay. However, the chocolate bar was still on the table, the beginnings of disfigurement by melting starting to appear, and Mello hadn't moved even once. In the instant that he'd looked up at Mello, a sort of pained cry emitted from the speaker on his gaming device, and he immediately shifted his gaze back down to the screen, watching as blood red letters flashed angrily at him in a black background: "Game Over"

"...You've got a plan, don't you Mello?" The blond haired boy, face drawn with a fatigue that could not be understood by anyone in this lifetime, did not answer him. "...We're going to die, aren't we?" Dark eyes opened, barely slits beneath Mello's pale lids, and he smiled at his red haired friend, the final smile Matt would ever see. "Yes."

"And you had to keep me in suspense for that?" The red haired man mumbled irritably, flicking the off switch on his PSP before he leaned forward and set it down besides Mello's chocolate bar. "And here I thought we'd finally get to kill Kira ourselves! You sure know how to ruin it for a guy." It was an outright lie, and Mello knew that, but he couldn't bring himself to try and argue with Matt about the severity of the situation they where in, so instead his smile widened into an almost-grin, because Mello just didn't do that kind of thing, and he shook his head, his blond hair swaying back and forth as he did so. "Sorry, but no." "So we're basically committing suicide, then." Matt questioned, though it wasn't actually a question nor was it spoken as one; they both knew the answer. He just wanted to hear Mello say it. "Basically." It was strange, having Mello attempt to make light of a situation, of a decision that he obviously didn't want to make but couldn't take back; it was something irrevocable, undoable, and after chasing Kira for this long, he couldn't stop now. And once again, they lapsed into silence, only this time they where staring at each other, attempting to memorize the faces that they'd never see again in this life time.

Matt knew that Mello was an unbelievably selfish person, and he didn't mind being a follower and not a leader. He didn't mind the thought of committing suicide for him, though just the thought of being pumped full of lead--As he'd no doubtedly end up--Was enough to have his heart pumping ten times faster then normal and give him a good dose of adrenaline. He didn't mind going to Hell with Mello. As long as Mello was there, as long as he didn't just leave like he'd done so soon after L's death; then he could be happy. Was it wrong of him to turn Hell into his own personal paradise, surrounded by all the sinful pleasures he could get his hands on and the company of the person that meant the most to him?... He liked to think that it wasn't.

"I don't mind dying for you, ya know." The red head said all of a sudden, causing Mello to blink, slightly surprised. Possibly for the first time since he'd found out L had died. After that, things just didn't seem to take him by surprised anymore. No matter what happened, it had all been expected, even if it was the least likely of outcomes. "...I know." The blond finally murmured, a barely noticeable hint of remorse in his voice that no one but Matt could have possibly noticed.

Matt was afraid of death, but he'd pretend he wasn't, even if Mello knew he was just acting, because Mello meant more to him then his own life. Mello was an irrevocable addiction, one stronger then nicotine, more deadly then cancer, and Matt could care less as long as he got to come along for the ride.

"...I don't mind loving you, ya know." For the first time in Matt's extensively long memory, Mello looked as though he could have cried, would have cried if the burden of the world wasn't resting on his tired shoulders. "I know."