Title: Don't Make Me Shoot You
Author: Strangevisitor7

Prompt: Immortality - Actors in Dual Roles written for hlflashfic

Fandoms: HL, Firefly and Chuck (new NBC show)

Characters: From HL: Duncan and Richie. From Firefly: Mal, Zoe, Kaylee and in a dual role Adam Baldwin as Jayne Cobb from FF and John Casey from Chuck

Spoilers: None. Set days before the Pilot from Firefly.
Disclaimer: All things belong to their respective creators
Summary: Back on Earth-That-Was, Jayne was a federal agent named John Casey. He and Richie didn't get along then and they don't now.

A/N: How could I not write a story where one of my favorite actors (Adam Baldwin) plays a character with my name (Casey)? Consider this pimping for the new show 'Chuck.' I saw the pilot – hilarious!


Don't Make Me Shoot You

Jayne was in his bunk relaxing. For him, that meant cleaning his guns. He loved his guns, especially Vera. Each had its own special storage place and a name befitting its personality. He had a sword too but he wasn't fond of that old-fashioned killing tool. He hadn't bothered to name the swords he'd had over the years.

He'd stopped carrying a sword back on Earth-That-Was but he always had one available if necessary. He didn't like to play the Game; he enjoyed living too much to risk the finality of death. Instead, he clung to his own version of the rules. His solution was to shoot any Immortals who challenged him. He let them revive and told them to beat it. If they didn't get the message, then he took their head. Eventually the word circulated and they stopped coming for him.

He was jolted from his reverie by Mal banging on his door. "Jayne we got new passengers. Get out here."

Jayne grabbed Vera. Mal always liked to put on a show of force so the paying customers didn't get any funny ideas. "I'm coming. I'm coming." He groused.

Jayne followed Mal toward the cargo bay. That was when he felt the familiar Buzz. He'd almost forgotten the sensation.

He hadn't run into another Immortal in over a century. He knew they were still out there because he figured he would have come into some kind of extra power if he'd been the last one standing.

This Buzz was strong,it was most likely more than one Immortal. Damn, if the passengers were Immortal how the hell was he going to convince Mal to dump them? Jayne understood that paying fares were hard to come by.

Jayne reached the walkway and scanned the cargo bay. Kaylee and Zoe were chatting with the new arrivals. As they sensed his approach, the two Immortal faces looked up at him. One he knew and one he didn't. Jayne started down the stairway with Vera at the ready.

He watched Immortals exchange glances; one was angry. Well, he usually provoked that kind of reaction and he had shot Richie on at least two different occasions.

"Casey!" Richie snarled and then seeing the gun, he threatened, "If you're going to shoot me again, I can guarantee my friend Mac here is going to make you regret it."

"Richie, that's enough. We are not alone." Mac indicated the three mortals watching the exchange.

"Listen to your friend, Richie," Jayne smirked. "And it's Jayne Cobb now. I left John Casey behind a long time ago."

"Jayne," Mal interjected, "you want to explain what's going on?"

"Richie's an old friend, Cap'n. I shot him years ago and he still hasn't gotten over it."

Mal grimaced; he'd been shot by a few old friends in his time.

"Friend?" Richie huffed his annoyance, "Hardly. Why don't we step outside and I'll show you just how friendly I can be."

"No need," Jayne laughed as he aimed Vera at the Immortal, "I'd be just as happy to shoot you right here."

Mal moved to step between the two. "Nobody's gonna be shooting anybody on my ship." Mal looked at Jayne who reluctantly lowered his weapon.

"Fine by me, Cap'n. Show 'em the door and we can be on our way."

"Captain Reynolds, I can assure you that while my friend is a little put off by Jayne, he will not be causing any trouble while we're on your ship." Duncan nodded at Richie encouraging him to agree.

"Keep him away from me and there won't be any trouble." Richie promised.

"Okay then," Mal was relived, "Kaylee, tell Wash we can take off."

The young woman headed up the stairs without a backward glance.

"Captain, you sure about this?" Zoe asked.

"I'm sure whatever problems our guests have with Jayne can wait the five days it will take us to get to Persephone. Why don't you show them their quarters? And Mr. MacLeod, Mr. Ryan, if I even suspect there's gonna to be trouble, I will lock you in your bunk."

"Please, call me Duncan and I'm sure that won't be necessary." Duncan sent Mal his best 'trust me' smile and followed Zoe up the stairs.

The color drained from Jayne's face, "Wait a minute. Duncan MacLeod, the Highlander. That's you?"

"You won't be shooting anyone now, will you?" Richie laughed as they left the cargo bay.


Once they were in their quarters Duncan turned to face Richie, arms crossed and a stern expression on his face. "What the hell were you thinking challenging another Immortal in front of a crowd?"

"Sorry, Mac. The guy really irritates me."

"Correct me if I'm wrong but that had to be centuries ago."

"So what! He shot me Mac! And on two different occasions!"

"But he didn't take your head. What happened?"

Before Richie could explain there was a knock on the door. Duncan opened it to see Jayne standing in the hall. "Mal insisted we talk. I'd just as soon space you 'cause I don't trust you but," Jayne sighed reluctantly, "your reputation demands respect, MacLeod."

Mac smiled, "I'm flattered." He stepped aside to let the big man enter the small cabin.

Mac and Richie sat on the bunk opposite Jayne. "Come to apologize?" Richie quipped.

"Hey kid, I left you alive. You're the one with no sense of gratitude."

"I'm not a kid."

Jayne sneered, "You were, what, maybe twenty at your first death. You'll always be a kid."

"I'm a little confused," Mac interrupted trying to calm the hostility, "Want to explain what happened?"

Richie made to speak. Mac sent him a glare and he shut up.

"I was a fed back then. I loved being a fed. Got to shoot people for the government and no one ever asked why." Jayne smiled at the memories.

"Sounds like a fun time," Mac snarked, "But why shoot Richie?"

"Hotshot there got in the middle of an op. I had no time to explain so I shot him."

"The other agents didn't notice that you shot a random guy?" Mac was incredulous.

"No witnesses. Besides, no one questioned anything I did back then," Jayne snickered. "Anyways, I dragged Richie's body out of the way and went on with my business. I had no intention of taking his head."

"Richie, is that true?"

"All I know is, I woke up and he was gone. I thought he'd been interrupted. I wanted to get to him first. So, I tracked him down."

"Wait, so you went after him? Why would you do that when you knew he'd just shoot you?"

"I was pissed and he cheated."

"That was just plain stupid! If he wasn't playing by the rules, you're lucky to still have your head." Mac chastised.

"It made sense at the time," Richie said defensively.

Jayne laughed, "Look, I was a fed. I wasn't going to get tied to any beheadings and find myself accused of serial murder. I didn't play the Game then and I sure as hell don't play it now."

"So, you have no intention of challenging us?" Richie was surprised.

"Hell, no! I may look dumb but I ain't stupid and I ain't interested in dyin'. I like livin' too much"

"See, he doesn't want to fight. Let it go." Mac implored. Immortals had long memories to go with their long lives and sometimes it was a real pain.

Richie and Jayne stared at each other. Mac worried that he might have to step in. Then the two smiled and started laughing. "I guess it is kind of ridiculous to hold a grudge this long." Richie admitted.

"I am actually grateful you came after me. I was working with this doofus civilian at the time. Pain in my ass, let me tell you. When I shot you the second time, right in front of Chuck, it was priceless. Nothing like thinking you're working with a cold blooded killer to keep the geeks in line."


Mal walked by the guest quarters. He'd told Jayne to make nice but he never expected to hear laughter coming through the door. That had worked out okay after all. Mal mentally patted himself on the back.

They had paying passengers who weren't going to kill Jayne and they'd received word of a salvage opportunity for Badger on the way to Persephone. After they hit planetside, they'd actually have enough money get those doohickey engine things for Kaylee. Mal smiled as he headed to the mess for lunch, maybe their luck was changing.