Fan Girl Rain


Summary: Zelos learns a new hidden skill which utilizes the full-throttle power… of love! (Semi-crack) (Tiny hints at pairings)

Spoils?: None.

A/N: This'll definitely be one of my not-so-great works; it's more for laughs than anything else.


"Argh, it's no use!" Lloyd groaned, panting heavily as he blocked another strike from the looming super mantis. "Dammit!"

"This, coming from the one who—" Sheena paused to swat away the pillow-sized wasp, "—decided to switch everything to 'Mania' mode!"

Raine shook her head as she cast a First Aid, tiny beads of perspiration apparent on her skin. "I hope you've learned your lesson Lloyd." She sighed, pulling a scroll like object from the air, tapping an oddly animated picture that read, 'Escape'. "Now hurry—let's retreat!"

Zelos withdrew—again, from the air—his own scroll and did just as she did, canceling her actions. "Now wait justa minute! I am not running from a few insects! The Great Zelos Wilder doesn't—"

"They're the size of a freakin' ship!" Lloyd yelled in exasperation; a friendly reminder.

"It's all in your head, bud!" Zelos encouraged him, saying, "Just hold 'em off for a second, okay? The Great Zelos Wilder will save us all!"

"Whatever!" Sheena groaned, rolling away from the super mantises. "Just hurry it up!"

He grinned coyly. "Your wish is my command, beautiful." He jumped backwards, nearing the edge of the battle field. Blade in his hand, he brought it parallel to his body. He chanted in a low voice, "Oh, Spirit of the Heart: Hear me now as I stand before the doorway of heaven and the gates of hell! I beseech you, vanquish mine enemies with the raging, full-throttle power of Love!"

Zelos cackled, pointing his sword towards the melee. "This ends now…!"

The only sound to be heard for miles was Lloyd squelching a yelp as he narrowly missed becoming human sashimi. The party's gaze slowly turned to a glare as nothing seemed to happen. Zelos continued to stand there, still as a statue with his sword pointed towards the enemy.

Little by little, the earth beneath them began to tremble as a massive blob appeared over the horizon just behind Tethe'alla's Chosen—who's grin only grew in size. The blob released a blood-curdling screech as it neared. The ground now quaked violently as individual bodies within the mass could be distinguished. Human in form, they rushed forward with a rampant bloodlust.

Not finished with his incantation, Zelos laughed, "They're all yours', ladies! Fan Girl Rain!"

Instantaneously, a horde of female bodies descended onto the enemies like a crashing tidal wave. Amidst the chaos, the dying shrieks of the super mantises and wasps the size of pillows could be heard through the rampant, wild battle cries of the girls as they stormed off the field onto their next destination.

Zelos waved engagingly as they left, calling, "Thank you, hunnies!"

Eyes wide in skeptical shock, Raine commented, "My… that was rather odd… Nevertheless, thank you, Zelos…"

He flashed his infamous grin. "Hey, you got it! The Great Zelos Wilder never disappoints!"

The Professor withheld her comments pertaining to his statement and instead looked around. "Well, let's get going… say, where did Sheena go?"

"I knew it!" Zelos gave a hearty laugh. "Looks like Sheena couldn't resist the call of the Fan Girl! Figures; anyone who's smitten with the Chosen gets caught up in the mob, whether they know it or not."

Raine nodded slowly, frowning slightly as she went on to ask, "So then... Where's Lloyd?"

Post-Note: And yes, that was a tiny Zelloyd reference. All in good humor though, not to fret.