OK here is Edwards Crazy Past!!!
Chapter 1 Time Machine!
"Bella! geuss what!" Oh My Carlisle, what vision did Alice have this time?!?! "What Alice?"
"Edward is bring something home tomorrow night! You'll never believe what it is!" Hmmm.. I was think the whole day while Edward was off hunting, what he could be bring home. What a horses head? twitch, twitch. Ok a disturbing picture just came into my head. What in the world- yawn- could it possible be-yawn. " I JUST BEAT YOUR VAMPIRE BUTT, JASPER, HA HA HA HA HA! NOW YOU HAVE TO RUN AROUND THE SCHOOL SAYING THAT YOU ARE A SISSY BARBIE GIRL WITH PLASTIC BOOBS!! AND WHERE PLASTIC BOOBS!!!There goes Emmett again with winning another game of football on the video game. Him and his stinking bets! "WHY! IN ALL MY LIFE THIS IS THE WORST THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME! WORSE THEN ESME'S COOKING!!" Oh no Jasper should have not said this! I had to see this! I ran down stairs, but to late Esme already threw Jasper into the wall! Wow she can be fierce! Yawn ok time for bed...
The next day, or should I say night?
I was running all the way home, when suddenly I read some bodies mind... This Time Machine Really Works!!! I Will Be Rich! The Richest Person Alive!! Go Me! Go Me! I will win Bella With my Sexy Smartness!!! Me MIKE NEWTON! King of the Time Machine!! Hey That Rymes!
I could not, will not let Mike Newton win my Bella! It's impossible! So I went right up to him, and lets just say I gave him apiece of my mind. A BIG piece of my mind!
"hahahaha! My time machine now!" I was running in the woods with this darn time machine on my back, when I heard Emmetts thoughts... Plastic boobs! Ha Ha Ha! poor Jasper, I wonder if they make real plastic boobs! That would be soo awesome! I will go online to find these plastic boobs!!!!!
HA HA! Emmett made another
bet with Jasper, ugh, will Jasper ever learn! And here I am, and
there she is, Bella! "Edward what the hell is that on your
back?!?" She was so cute when she was angry! "Oh, nothing
just a time machine!" Her mouth was hanging open, looking at me
shocked and appauled. "What? You asked what it is and I told
you. A-time-ma-chine." "Edward I heard you but, why did you
bring home a time machine?" "Well why do you think? To go
back in time, duh!" "Really I didn't Know that! Duh I now
what a time machine is I'm just saying why do you want to go back in
time?" "Well I don't remember my human past, sooo I wanted
to go back and time to see what my human life was!"
"Fiiinneee, Lets go"
Suddenly I heard A very annoying, very girly, I repeat, very girlie scream! I had a feeling it was Alice or Rosalie. Nope it was- OMFC! It was Jasper!! "HAHAHAH WHY DID-HAHAH- SCREAM LIKE THAT-HAHAHA?" "I'M SO, LIKE, JEALOUS! I, LIKE WANT TO, LIKE GO BACK IN ,LIKE, TIME TOO!!" Here he goes agian annoying me with that Jessica voice thing again!! "Would you mind if Jasper went with us?" "NO! Why in the world would I want Jasper to come with us?" He got his fists and started to knock on my head like it was a door. " Any one home in there?" "Yes! I'm Not stupid! Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!!" "fine, fine, sorry I said anything, can we just go?" \
"Fine lets go,but before we leave, where did you get this any ways?" "I, uhhh, just found it, uhh, laying in the woods.Wierd huh? hehehehe." "Riiight, Lets blow this popsickle stand!" We went into the time machine, "Hmmm, how does this thing work, Edward?" "Ummm I don't know, well lets see I push this, I pull this and type in this and..." Flashing lights started going off and the time machine started to shake, a beeping noise kept on going on and on! Then all of it stopped. Me and Edward stepped out of the time machine into a place called...
Sorry to leave you at this I will continue the next chapter after school tomorrow!!
You WILL BE SHOCKED AND AWWED!! AND MABY A LITTLE CONFUSED BUT NO WORRIES I WILL EXPLAIN ALL OF IT AND IF YOU DO AHAVE ANY QUESTION JUST TELL ME!!