Title: Twenty Random Facts About Ianto Jones

Author: Asrai

Summary: Twenty random facts about Ianto Jones containing neither suits nor stopwatches, although coffee is mentioned.

Spoilers: Series 1 of Torchwood and the series 3 finale of Doctor Who

Rating: PG

Pairing: Ianto/Jack

Disclaimer: All of the characters used in this fic belong to the BBC; I am making no profit with this and no copyright infringement is intended.

1) Ianto suspects – no, he knows – that he suffers from a mild case of hero worship towards Captain Jack Harkness.

2) On the other hand, he does not know why they started sleeping together.

3) He doesn't want to admit it to himself, but it was probably boredom and convenience on Jack's part.

4) Therefore he can't help but resent Owen for being right in his estimation of Ianto being Jack's 'part-time shag'.

5) At least this particular comment provides him with a valid reason for resenting the hell out of the other man, replacing the fuzzy dislike Ianto's felt from the moment of first meeting him with something more solid.

6) After that – incident with Lisa, when Tosh brought him a cup of coffee and asked him about his weekend, Ianto resented her as well, for her clumsy attempt at reconciliation.

7) He doesn't anymore. Realistically speaking Tosh is the only one the Hub he could ever be friends with, apart from the pterodactyl.

8) Still, Ianto should have appreciated that coffee more than he did at the time because there hasn't been a repeat performance ever since.

9) Ianto still sends Christmas greetings and birthday cards to Lisa's parents because it seems like the right thing to do.

10) They never reply and he thinks they probably hate him for surviving when their only daughter died.

11) Ianto is right in that respect, but it doesn't stop him from composing slightly personal yet respectful texts for the cards, all in his painfully meticulous handwriting.

12) Ianto has become a vegetarian after that unfortunate day in the countryside.

13) With the exception of crisps: After three months of Prawn Cocktail-flavoured crisps he'd finally given in one day and defiantly bought a packet of Cheese and Onion.

14) However, he now has a decent excuse for never going camping ever again.

15) To be honest, Ianto doesn't know why he ignored Jack's orders and helped the team to open the Rift; it seemed like a good idea at the time.

16) It may be that he acted on adrenaline and instinct, which, given his track record with that particular combination, should have been a big hint that he was screwing things up thoroughly.

17) Ianto considers quitting Torchwood after Jack goes off with the Doctor.

18) He forgets all about quitting and starting a new life in Canada when the Prime Minister orders them to go to the Himalayas and the world goes to hell in a handbasket.

19) While the team is trying to make sense of Toclafane, a dead American President and a vanished Mister Saxon, Ianto starts going through every single sighting of the Doctor Torchwood has ever reported in the hope of identifying one of his numerous companions as the man Ianto misses more than he cares to admit to himself.

20) He's read through 958 reports and drunk 15 cups of coffee when the door to the Tourist Office opens.