Title: Anniversary Blues
By: Neuriel
Rating: PG
Pairings: Rodney/Radek, with slight John/Elizabeth
Category: Humor, Fluff
Disclaimers: Neither Stargate Atlantis nor any of its characters belongs to me.
Notes: Written for Rose Wilde Irish. Title by Rose Wilde Irish


Rodney watched as Radek swam around in the tub.

He didn't like seeing Radek like this. It made him sad that Radek was enjoying his penguin form, especially when it was their anniversary, and Rodney had been looking to score some nooky.

Stupid Sheppard, Rodney thought. The Colonel just had to go and touch another Ancient device and play with it like it was... was... well, something to be played with, rather than carefully studied and researched. Rodney was certain the man had the mentality of an 8-year-old.

And now Radek was a penguin, and Sheppard was a squirrel. Well, that was just dandy. Elizabeth had taken it all with grace - but it wasn't her anniversary.

Not one hour earlier, despite Rodney's protests, the other scientists had ganged up on him and forced him out of the lab. Something about them being able to work better when he wasn't yelling at them about his lover-turned-penguin.

Incompetents, all of them. He was clearly the one best able to transform Radek (and Sheppard) back to human form. But even Elizabeth had put her foot down. She said he could return later, once he'd had a chance to cool off. Besides, Radek was nipping at him, looking hungry.

Didn't Radek hate fish? But he wolfed it down then like it was chocolate cheesecake.

Afterwards, Radek flapped his wings and looked at Rodney expectantly. Rodney had no idea what Radek wanted, but Radek nipped him again and led the way. At least Radek apparently retained some of his memories, even if his mind was now a penguin's. Radek led them to their quarters without any problems, and into the bathroom.

There, Radek tried to unsuccessfully fill the bathtub. Of course, his penguin flippers couldn't really do much. Rodney, getting the message, filled it for him - with cold water, after Radek nipped him for trying to fill it with hot water.

Rodney idly wondered if Elizabeth was being nipped as much by Sheppard-squirrel.

Radek looked happily at the water and jumped in, splashing around and swimming. After a few minutes, he looked inquiringly at Rodney.

"Sorry. Too cold."

Radek honked disappointedly.

Even in penguin form, Radek could not be denied. Rodney sighed. After taking off his shoes and socks, he dipped his right toe in, yelped, and immediately pulled it back out. Radek honked encouragingly. Rodney gave him a look that said, 'Are you serious?' Radek flapped. Rodney sighed again and slowly slipped his foot into the water. Then the other one.

"That's as far as I'm going. Even for you."

Radek honked in appreciation. He swam around some more.

Four years, Rodney thought, watching Radek. They'd been through a lot together - but he never really thought he'd be spending his fourth anniversary sitting in ice-cold water with a penguin.

Stupid Sheppard. If those idiots didn't manage to transform Radek back, Rodney swore he'd be sporting a squirrel-hat tomorrow.

Finally, Radek seemed tired of swimming. He jumped out of the tub and shook himself off. He looked at Rodney. Rodney pulled his feet out, dried them off, and followed Radek into the bedroom.

Radek flapped against the bed, unable to climb up on top of it. Rodney lifted him up and put him on the mattress. Radek nodded, then busied himself, making a nest. He looked inquisitively at Rodney again, with those big blue penguin eyes. Well, actually, they were beady. But that didn't really matter.

Rodney settled down next to Radek on the bed. Radek snuggled up against him and closed his eyes.

Rodney sighed for the millionth time that day, possibly breaking a world record. "Happy anniversary, Radek."

Radek snuffled.

And in the morning, Radek woke up, fully human, wondering why Rodney's feet were so cold and why his own mouth tasted like fish.


P.S. And then they done sex.