Authors Note: Hello! Welcome Strangers! This is a story that will be weird,crazy, and funny! Well, that is if you are in to this kind of thing! This first chapter is dedicated to Becca! Enjoy!

Chaos in the Resident Evil world!

Chapter 1: First victim: Albert Wesker!

Albert Wesker sat in his dark office, trying to come up with a plan to retake over the Umbrella company that he restarted. His dream was dashed to bits by all those back stabbing partners of his. The ones who were eager to donate money to the new and improved Umbrella. But after what happened in 2004 in Spain, Ada losing th sample which Wesker new was a lie, and Leon still alive, well, it basically was the beginning of the end of his reign! The partners overpowered him eventually this year, now he was in the same position he was in last time when the former leaders were over the old Umbrella. For his evil cunning to be wasted as a sapporting role was unthinkable!

What really is the icing on the cake is that a crazy girl keeps calling his cell number! He tried tracing the calls, changing numbers, you name it, he did it. But what was really creepy, he always had this feeling since the mansion that he was being watched. By millions of eyes, and the girl calling him was one of those pairs of eyes watching him. Like if he was in a game or something. In fact, right now he feels that a certain red haired young woman is writing about him right now as he is sitting there and thinking this...I'm cracking uuuuup! I'm going to turn out old senile cult freak! Saddler!., thought Wesker as he only showed a hint of his emotions.

"I got to take a vacation...I know, I'll go find Chris and kill the idiot," Wesker said with a slight smile. Just then, his cell phone began playing that song, "I'm to sexy for my shirt" spong. He answered it with his usual cold voice.

"Speak or die."

"Hello, I'm calling for a Seemore Butts," said a voice that was trying to hard to disguise the voice.

"I'm sorry you idiot. But this is a cell phone of a Albert Wesker. There is no Seemore Butts."

"Errrrr. But Seemore Butts gave me this number to get intouch with him."

"Well, you have been giving a wrong number," Wesker said with a irritated voice.

"Can you ask around? Maybe he's around there?," the voice asked politely. Wesker groweled and got up from his chair and left his office.

"Where do you exactly want me to ask?"

"Down at the lab. He works in the tyrant lab."

Wesker walked over to the lab and went through the glass doors. Every one stopped what they were doing and nervously looked at the man dressed in black.

"Alright. I need to see Seemore Butts please. Seemore Butts," he asked the nervous scientists. They looked at one another and then looked back at him. Was he serious?! The niave ones didn't get ti as others who did began to chuckle. One non to bright scientist shrugged his shoulder and walked up to Wesker and pulled his pants down and mooned the stunned Wesker. He said with a chuckle,"See more butts sir?"

Realisation dawned on the blond, his face turning red with anger. He kicked the man in the rear, sending the scientist up in the air, through all the window (Their on thetwenty first floor. Plus don't forget that Wesker has been genetically inhanced, a super freak.) and up, up, and away he went...screaming while pulling his pants up. Everyone went back to work, really not caring what just happened.

Wesker walked out of there while saying in his ever so cool, menacing voice,"Very funny my prank caller. Soon, I'll find you." The caller laughed and hung up. "Soon."

Meanwhile, back in Washington D.C.

Claire Redfield was sipping her usual morning coffee, waiting for her ever clueless guy she has been sending signals to but he's just to dense or whatever to realise that she liked him and...hehe. She was waiting on Leon to come by and have his usual morning coffee with her before he went to work. She tapped her foot wich was in a reindeer slipper. She nated when he was on time for everything else, but never on time for their morning coffee and breakfest.

The kitchen telephone began ringing, causing her to jump up and spill some of her hot coffee on her bathrobe. "Crap! OOOOOO That's HOT!" she hollared in pain and anger. After taking of the robe, she got up out of her chair and picked up the phone on the wall.

"Hello...Hello? Leon is that you?"

A wheezing breathing sound came from the other end, sounding like a perverted caller who has asma. She sighed and hung up. "That was weird," she remarked as she began walking back to her chair. The phone began ringing again. She let out a sigh of irritation and answered it again.

"Heelloooo! Hellooooooo! "

"Wheeeeeeeeeeez Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssss"

"Okay buddy, that's enough! Stop calling or you'll face the consequences!" She hung up with a little bit more force than last time. She began walking away when the phone rang again.

"Okay, that's it! I'm getting the whistle!" she said as she rummaged through the kitchen drawers. She had one drawer that she sometimes threw random items in when she was in a real hurry. She found her whistle that she had since she was a kid and hurried over and answered the phone.

"Breath this PERVERT! She yelled into the phone. She put the whistle to her lips and blew. After blowing till she was out of breath, she spoke into the phone,"There! I think I made my point!" and she hung up with a smile of triamph.

Leon hung up the phone and shook his head as his right ear was still ringing from that phone call.

"What was that all about?!" Leon said as he staggered out the door of his apartment.

Back with Wesker

Wesker walked down the hall with a thunderous look on his face. Who would dare embarrass him like this?! They either were very smart, or veeery stupid. And Wesker was leaning more on the ladder. He was almost to his office when he recieved another call. He groaned and answered the call.

"Hello, Wesker?" said the female voice. Except this time, it sounded like the voice was near by, not just on his phone. He began steeping toward each of the offices, listening in.


"The higher ups have contacted me...YOU'RE FIRED!!"

The girl heard silence. She smiled evily.

Wesker stopped in his tracks, fear in his gut. Could it be? Did the jerks actually had this girl calling him to get him in this state so that they could firre him? Making him crack?

"AND THEY HIRED ME!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaaaaaa! Muah!HAhahahahahaahhaaaaa!" the teenager laughed crazily. Wesker started to run toward the office that the loud laughter was coming from. I'm going to kill her!!! No living soul has ever got me fired and stole my job! he thought with rage.

Young Becca stopped laughing as she heard footsteps ruuning in the direction of the office she was hiding in. She couldn't believe he was actually going to kill her! Wow! Cool! Wesker was trying to kill her like he tries to kill Chris in the game...AAAAAAAAAH!

"Oh CRAP! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!" she screamed to herself as she ran out of the office and ran screaming toward the elevaters.

"You're dead! Come back here! I need information about the higher ups! I need to know so I can kill them tooo!" he yelled as he quickly was catching up with her. He was actually enjoying it, chasing the frightened girl. He decided to prolong the chase. After all, he had nothing better to do.

Suddenly, a bscuit flew through the air and smack him right in between the eyes. He stumbled a bit, shocked at what hit him. Soon, a whole bunck more biscuits were being chunked at him. He put his hands in front of his face, trying to ward off the biscuits.

Becca laughed manicaly as she through biscuits from her backpack. She took a bunch from the cafeteria room in this building...They were hard as rocks. Weskerheld his head as a headache was forming from all the biscuits. He figured it was from Umbrella's secret recipe. Nobody ever ate the secret recipe biscuits, they either groaned or chipped your tooth.

The biscuits stopped, giving Wesker some relief. He saw the young woman get in a elevater. He cursed loudly, not to happy with this situation. As he began to walk, a biscuit began to moan like a zombie. He looked down at the lone biscuit, it slowly was moving towared his booted foot. He rolled his eyes and began stomping the thing to death. It cried out dramatically, saying weakly as he went toward the computer lab to find out what floor she was on,"We will multiply! You can't stop my friends from evenging my deeaaaath!" Then the poor but seriously freaky biscuit died. A pet licker walked by and gobbled up the rest of the living biscuits. Guess there won't be a avenging the leader biscuits death. Just another day in Resident Evil world.

Authors Note: Oooookaaaay, that was wierd. It's one in the morning, so this is NOT my best work, buut I'm seriously tired so ...hehe. Please review. If I continue, I promise the story will get better as it goes along. More characters will be added to it. And if anyone wants to be included in this story, write and tell me. Tell me what character you want to torment and how! That's all! Review!