I don't own Harry Potter.

The bold bits of this fic are stolen from Flight of the Concords', Alby the racist Dragon. Try and download it.

There's also a bit from Black Books. Please don't sue me

Morals

"He misses his father, read it too him", hissed Narcissa as she shoved the brightly coloured, much loved children's book into Lucius' hands.

Lucius looked doubtfully at the blond Buddha in the cot. It giggled and blow a snot bubble out of it's nose. "He doesn't even know who I am".

Severus, who was standing behind him, took the book off him and examined it critically. "Why are all the animals wearing clothing?".

"Because that's what animals do in children's books", snapped Narcissa.

"But won't that just confuse him in years to come. He won't know to run away from lions when he thinks that all they do all day is have lemonade with ", Severus squinted at the book's cover, "tigers, monkeys, and what appears to be a very small elephant with a balloon".

"Dear God", cried Lucius in mock horror, "It's what an African Safari would be like if you were on acid".

"FINE" snapped Narcissa, snatching the book from Severus "don't read it to him, but your spending time with him, and your telling him a story, something with morals, so his doesn't turn into a selfish, cynical, drug obsessed lunatic".

"But won't that make his 21st rather boring" murmured Lucius.

Narcissa narrowed her eyes dangerously and started fingering her wand. Both men were strongly reminded of her older sister.

" Darling, calm down, of course I'll spend time with him, Severus will spend time with him as well, won't you Severus", said Lucius. Severus held up his hands in a pacifying manner and nodded.

Narcissa snorted and excited, shutting the door firmly behind her.

Both men moved to stand beside the cot. After a while Lucius spoke, "so….something with morals, she said".

"So he doesn't turn out like you", Severus added helpfully.

"Your not any better, remember that time your lips went blue and you started vomiting everywhere….."

"That's probably not what she meant, when she said, " A story with morals" ".

"That story does have a moral though".

"Yes, don't eat interesting mushrooms you buy from dodgy muggles".

"Deep".

"It is self defeating to have two men you feel are amoral teach your son about morals".

"Yes".

"So what's a moral?"

"Are you asking me what a moral is, or for an example of an moral?"

"The last one".

"Ummm…..I don't know……. don't be racist".

"That's not really much of an issue in the wizarding world, we're all more concerned with the blood purity thing".

"Well that means we're likely to be able to teach him to not be racist".

"Good point. So do you know any 'Don't be racist' children's stories?"

"Please, you saw where I grew up, the only kid who got beaten up more than me at primary school was the Albanian".

"Hmmmm….. Do you know any children's stories?"

"No, do you?"

"No"

"Our childhoods' sucked"

"Maybe that's why we're amoral"

"Could be"

"Well I guess you'll just have to make one up".

"You're his father"

"Your meant to be the smart one"

"Flattery will get you everywhere"

"I know"

"How about the story of…… the racist dragon", the last part was directed at the cot, which Severus was leaning over. The little Buddha inside gurgled and tried to grab his hair.

"Aren't we meant to be teaching him not to be racist".

"I'm getting to that……… where was I, Ahh yes…….. In a marmalade forest, between the make believe trees, in a cottage cheese cottage lived Alby".

"Alby?"

"Alby".

"Alby?"

"Alby the racist dragon... So all the angry villages chased Alby into a very dark, very scary, cave. It was so dark and scary in there that Alby began to cry, dragon tears, which as we all know into jelly beans. Anyway, at that moment he felt a tiny little hand on his tail, and who should it be but the badly burnt Albanian boy from the day before.

'What are you doing here, I thought I killed you" cried Alby, quite racistly.

'No Alby you did not kill me, however you left me very disfigured and scared', laughed the boy, 'why are you crying?"

'I'm crying because all of the villages chased me into this horrible cave' replied Alby, 'I think it's because I'm so racist'.

'No Alby, It isn't because of your racism that they chased you here, they chased me here when I became disfigured. They don't like you and I because….. We're different to them'.

And suddenly Alby wasn't racist any more.

So they sat in the cave".

"Cave?!!"

"And ate bubblegum pie, Yum! Alby the Racist (well not any more) Dragon".

"Severus"

"Yes?"

"Promise me, that you'll never, in anyway shape or form, be responsible for the education and guidance of the young and vulnerable".

"It wasn't that bad".

Lucius just shook his head and looked affectionately down at his sleeping son. "He seems to have enjoyed it, You've got a nice voice anyway".

"Thank you".

"Do you think he looks like me?"

"It's hard to tell, do you have any photos of yourself as a child? you could compare"

"No photos"

"Me neither".

"Need a hug?'

"No, do you?"

"No"

"Lucius"

"Hmmmm…"

"Why then, are you hugging me?"