Disclaimer: I wish Heroes were mine. I could use some superpowers in my life, but alas no, they belong to NBC and Tim Kring.
Note: This is a silly idea of mine that won't leave me alone until I write them down. Warning, it may be terrible. It is unbeta-ed and I will appreciate any beta offer.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," said Mohinder, glancing at Molly and Micah, "and kids, we are here to discuss your ability or abilities in case your name is Peter or Sylar or whoever else I have not met. My father's research has shown that most of you present here have them. Now I would like you to introduce you and/or your ability. Who would like to start?"
"I see dead people!"
"No, Molly. You can't. That is the famous line from the Sixth Sense. Thinking about that I wish I could meet Mr. Shamalayan in person on top of finding special power people, bringing down the company, finding the cure the virus that can affect most of you and psychopath killer(s)."
"Yes, I can. I can find anyone in the world and if they are dead, well, I can still see them so I was right."
"OK, OK, next!" said harassed Mohinder.
"I can bend space/time continuum!" Hiro yelled happily.
"What does it mean?" enquired Claire, who could not help but notice she is not the only freak in this room, which made her glad, and thinking that she is glad of that made her feel bad.
"You must be the cheerleader. That means I can stop time and travel to the past and the future. However, they were or will not be safe. Do not go there!"
"I think it should be OK for me to go there. After all, I can walk through fire and did not get burned. Oh my God, I can't die, that really is a bad power," choked Claire, "Although I did die more than once."
HRG rushed to hug her, he said, "It is OK, Claire. They are all freaks except Ando, Dr. Suresh and I! "
"I don't see there is anything bad with not being able to die though," enquired a puzzled Niki, "It is still better than being able to rip people with my bare hands, throw people out of a window and barely remember having done that."
"Well, I can testify to the ripping and throwing people part, but I do not know about the not remembering part," Matt agreed bitterly.
"All of you shouldn't feel bitter about your power(s), after all it is a forward step from evolution according to my father and Darwin," Mohinder said as he tried to soothe everyone (not very successfully).
"Do you have to mention your father every few sentences?" Claude asked after materializing out of thin air next to Mohinder and caused everyone there to jump, but after what they had been through they regained their composure quicker than Mohinder finished saying my father's research.
"Well, it is his research and we won't be here if I do not invite you all based on his list," Mohinder said defensively.
"Fine, I will keep quiet now unless some idiots say some stupid things again. Gosh, that was a tautology, idiots always say stupid things!" growled Claude and moved to sit on one of the empty chairs.
"I believe I can fly," whispered Nathan.
"Can you or do you only believe? I used to believe in lots of things but see where they are leading me now," Claude said belligerently.
"But of course he is the flying man. Whoosh!" Hiro chimed in enthusiastically and made the rocket motion with his hand.
"I don't have any powers but I am brave and confident, that also makes me a hero," said Ando confidently.
"Well, any idiots can be brave and confident," Claude said sotto voce.
"Could you please keep the grumbling in your head down? I am trying hard as it is to concentrate on what you all have been saying and thinking at the same time," Matt cried as he was clutching his head, "OK, I must admit that I hear voices in my head".
Sensing that people who don't know him bewilderedly looking at him, he continued hastily, "OK, not exactly voices asking me to do things, but I can hear people's thoughts. Although, I really must learn Japanese now to understand what Ando and Hiro were thinking."
"What? You can hear people's thoughts. Why didn't you say so earlier? People have secrets you know," roared Nathan.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about Linderman's plans and Meredith. Oops, I said too much, sorry," Matt said quickly and he wisely shut up.
"That is OK, the Haitian can take care of any leak plans or secrets after I find him," said HRG, "By the way, I can both look good and evil with the glint of my eyes or my smile. Well, that is not really a power but I consider it as a talent."
"Does that make you a villain or a hero?" enquired interested Hiro.
Mohinder felt that the meeting was not going as he wanted so he quickly interrupted, "Well, Meredith, Micah, DL, you have not said anything since you came. I did not invite Sylar for obvious reasons in case you ask."
"I can communicate with machines, rig election results, steal money from the ATM, no big deal compared to most of you," Micah said and shrugged his shoulders.
"Young man, we need to talk when we get home or you will meet Jessica," Niki said sternly.
"Well, I can phase through any solid objects, it seems not as exciting as what you all have been saying so I prefer not to talk about it," DL said quietly.
"Mine is mundane as well, let just say I do not need matches or lighters for the rest of my life but I can still cook and burn things and keep it like that," Meredith added quickly.
"Why hasn't anyone asked me? Oh God, my hands are glowing again. Thanks to the idiot who invited me, now I absorb too many powers and going to explode again. Nathan! Nathan!" cried Peter.
"Oh no, not again!" wailed Nathan.
What do you think? Happy? Repulsed? Feel like Meredith and throw a flame at me? Please let me know.