Disclaimer: I own nothing Rocky Horror, I certainly don't own Micheal Jackson, and I don't own IT!
There's a light in the darkness at the frankenstein place!
"Shut up! It's just a f-ing light!"
Brad and Janet walked right through the door of the castle as if the were ghosts. Riff raff said "What the hell?! This isn't how the script goes!" Brad says "Peace man, would you like me to die your hair purple and cotten candy?"
Meanwhile Janet walks up to a tree and starts hugging it saying "I love you tree."
Riff raff goes "Hair?! What hair?! I don't know what hair your talking about, unless you're reffering to my sister/lover's mop!"
Magenta slides down the banister but falls off half way down. "I'm okay! I'm okay!" She was obviously drunk. "Did I hear one of yous say something about purple monkies dancing on unicycles?" She asked.
Riff starts doing the time warp.
Magenta yells "Oh my god! Riff! I love the warp of time!" She runs into the ballroom but forgets to open the door and runs right into it and falls down backwards and lands on Janet in a magical poof of smoke.
Janet all of a sudden yells "Madness takes it's toll! Woooh! Boy am I stoned!"
Brad then yells "Hey, anyone know how to do the Madison?"
Frank randomly walks in wearing only one high heel and his makeup is smudged really badly. He starts walking in circles off balance saying "Magenta didn't I tell you to tell me when the clock was out of the oven?"
Riff goes "No no! It was the peanut butter vase shoe suprise, remember? I'll get it!" He starts to walk over to the closet but trips on Magenta and Janet. He stands up grumbling. "Janet, Magenta! Get your lazy bums off the floor! Frank needs his medicine!" He scolds them.
Frank goes "No, no. It's okay. I took the sunflower two hours ago."
Brad starts skipping around in circles tossing flower petals out of a picnic basket singing "Toucha toucha toucha touch me! I wanna take a baaath!"
Columbia enters the room by sumersalting down the stairs only in her underclothes. She jumps to the chandelier with amazing cat-like reflexes and hangs upside down by one leg like a monkey on a tree branch hanging by it's tail. She goes "I see. . .dead plants!"
Magenta yells up to Columbia "The only dead plants I see are your fake, plastic implants!" Then she starts laughing like a crazy puppy dog on steroids.
Frank yells to Magenta "That's not nice! Now why don't you eat a liter box or something! Noo! I even better! Eat Brad's trouser snake, if you can find it!!"
Brad yells "Yeah. . . umm. . .it's actually a trouser pencil!"
Columbia cracks up laughing so hard she falls to the ground and hits her head on the banister. "I'm okay!" She yelled even though her left eye was bleeding uncontrollably and her nose was no longer attatched. Not to mention she starts wailing like a baby.
Riff yells "I thought I turned the dishwasher off!"
Frank yells "Columbia, are you okay! I think you had a little too much coffee today. No, wait a minute. . . you don't drink coffee. . you drink koolaid! What has Micheal Jackson done to you! He's such a cheap knock off of me! I'd know, I slept with him last night!"
Riff goes "Holy crap. That was the one I thought was a woman when we had that threesome?! Crap."
Magenta slaps Riff on the face. "I told you to quit sleeping with drag queens! Is your own flesh and blood not enough for you! That's it! We're over!" Then she starts crying like an insane maniac that's sugar high.
Janet goes "Hey, chick, I dont think you're suppossed to sleep with relatives anyway. God, you must have no life. Were you molested as a child?"
Frank goes "Hey, that's not cool. If anyone in this room has been molested as a child it's gotta be me, I mean look at me! I a f-ing transvestite for gods sake! What kind of life do you think my childhood was? A bowl of cherries and whipped cream? Ha! No. . . . I got molested by a scary clown who goes by the name of Pennywise who lives in the sewer. . .not to mention he was extremely drunk. . . and my mother's fiance."
Tim Curry randomly appears in a puff of some and yells "I LOVE CAKE!" Then vanishes without a trace. . . except he left behind a peice of paper with his phone number on it saying Frank, that one night stand was awesome a few weeks ago. Will you. . .marry me?
Columbia picks up the paper and goes "Oooh! A love note! Your hair is winter fire, Janurary embers. My heart burns there too. Holy crap! Someone's been watching IT! too much! Magenta, I told you if you didn't stop watching that it would mess with your mind!"
Magenta yells "I WANT TO GO HOME!" Then runs into the wall so hard it leaves a whole the shape of her body when she crashed through. A Purple leprarecaun magically appears and says "I am your fairy godmother. I will grant you three wishes.
Magenta says "Wish number one: I want to go home!" She appears at home. "Wish number two: I want a Morticia costume." A Morticia costume appears on herself. "Wish number three: I'm lonely I want to go back to the castle." She poofs away and returns to the castle. "CRAP!" She yelled. "I ALWAYS mess up on the third wish! And never know when my leprecauhn will come back! Never trust the purple leprecauns," She warned Frank. "They purposely give you three wishes so you'll mess up on the last one."
Brad goes "Ummm. . .is it just me or do I see a crazy woman with red frizzy hair and three legs?"
Janet starts running around in circles screaming "The British are coming, the British are coming!"