Author's Note: This is nothing more than a look into the way our minds think sometimes. The author is actually one of us (we haven't decided which yet) in some of our earlier stages of fanfiction... authorship...

We find everyone assembled outside the Jedi Temple. The new one, which coincidentally looks exactly like the old one.

Jedi: An author! An author! An author! We've got an author! An author!

Anakin: We have found an author, might we burn her?

Jedi: Burn her! Burn!

Yoda: How know you she is an author, hhmm?

Luke: She looks like one.

Yoda: Forward, bring her.

Author: I'm not an author. I'm not an author.

Yoda: But dressed as one, you are.

Author: They dressed me up like this.

Padmé: What does an author dress like, anyway?

Jedi: No, we didn't... no.

Author: And this isn't my notebook, it's a false one.

Yoda: Hhmm?

Anakin: Well, we did do the nose.

Yoda: The notebook?

Anakin: And the "I 3 Jedi" button -- but she is an author!

Jedi: Burn her! Author! Author! Burn her!

Yoda: Dress her up like this, did you?

Jedi: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.

Anakin: She has got a fanfiction account.

Yoda: What makes you think she is an author?

Padmé: Well, she turned me into a Mary-Sue.

Yoda: A Mary-Sue?

Padmé: I got better.

Anakin: Burn her anyway!

Jedi: Burn! Burn her!

Yoda: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether an author she is.

Jedi: Are there? What are they?

Yoda: Tell me, what do you do with witches?

Luke: Burn--!

[Obi-Wan smacks Luke before he can finish his thought.

Yoda: And what do you burn apart from authors?

Luke: More authors!

Obi-Wan: Wood!

Yoda: So, why do authors burn, hhmm?


Padmé: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?

Yoda: Good!

Jedi: Oh yeah, yeah...

Yoda: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?

Anakin: Build a bridge out of her.

Yoda: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?

Luke: Oh, yeah.

Yoda: Does wood sink in water?

Anakin: No, no.

Luke: It floats! It floats!

Anakin: Throw her into the pond!

Jedi: The pond!

Yoda: What also floats in water?

Anakin: Bread!

Luke: Lightsabers!

Padmé: Very small rocks!

Luke: Blue milk!

Anakin: Great gravy!

Mace Windu: Dead Sith Lords!

Blue-Ghost Qui-Gon: Mud!

Luke: Temples -- temples!

Anakin: Durasteel!

Obi-Wan: A duck.

Luke: What's a duck?

Jedi: Oooh.

Yoda: Exactly! So, logically...,

Anakin: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.

Yoda: And therefore--?

Anakin: An author!

Jedi: An author!

Yoda: My largest scales, we shall use!


Yoda: Right, remove the supports!



Jedi: An author! An author!

Author: It's a fair cop.

Jedi: Burn her! Burn[yelling

Yoda: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of fanfiction?

Obi-Wan suddenly becomes a Blue-Ghost and disappears through a plot hole with Qui-Gon.

Remember to check your sanity at the door.