I am not.

Shut up, the both of you!

Would you guys stop telling me what to do!

You're freaking her out!

I am not!

James, obsession is dangerous.

Only if you're on a wooden ship and your obsession is a whale. I think I'm in the clear.


You do realize I was being metaphorical?

Well, you do realize that the point of metaphors is to scare people from doing things by telling them that something much scarier is going to happen, than what will really happen? God, I wish I had a metaphor to explain that better.

Alright, alright. Enough talk about things that I don't understand. I am so screwed for the NEWTs.

Welcome to the club.

There's a club?


I want to join!!!

Wormy, there is no club.

But –

He was trying to be funny.

"Trying" being the operative word, here.

Shut up, you mutt.

Ooh, hitting me where it hurts, Prongs. Now excuse me, but I'm going to make Moody pround and listen to the teeny weeny professor in front of me.

He sounds reasonable.

I think it's time to up the medication.

Oh, hardi-har-har.

Guys, I'm hungry.

Why am I not surprised?

Pete, when are you ever full?

I'm hungry too, Pete. I think we should stop by the kitchens for a little house-elf visiting.

We JUST had lunch!

30 minutes ago.

Do you know how long that is in dog years? Come on Pete, let's go.


Why is Remus spitting and spluttering?

Jeez, Moony, relax, it's not like I was going to take your Charms book away from you.

You guys do realize that we are in class?

Oh, are we? So that's why that midget has been droning on for three hours.

Paddy, we've only been in charms for three minutes.

Details, details.

Flitwick frightens me..

He frightens all, wormy, frightens all.

Are we talking about the same person?

Flitwick is a wonderful teacher.

He's a dwarf.

I'll have you know, he's part goblin, part dwarf.

Oh, because goblins are so much friendlier.

It's not that –


But I need a pillow!

Peter, Sirius may stab you with a quill if you do not give him his stuffed bear back.

Why would you say that?

Because he's staring at Mr. Snuffles and glaring at you holding a sharp quill.


It's a bear, paddy.

His name is Bill, and he's a FLAMINGO!

I thought his name was Mr.Snuffles?

Yes. MR.Snuffles. Mr. Bill Snuffles.

That's a great name.

Paddy, it's a bear.


Words have set meanings for a reason. You see an animal like Bill, and try to play with him; Bill's going to eat you. Because Bill's a bear.

Bill wouldn't eat me!!

Bill is a bear. And he would.

Bill is brown; he has pretty eyes, and a collar. BILL'S A FLAMINGO!

See that's what we call faulty syllogism. Just because you call Bill a flamingo, doesn't mean he's a flamingo.


Bill has doesn't have a beak.


Bill also has four legs and he's brown.


Prongs, maybe we should just leave him with his bear.


Hell hath no fury like a Padfoot scorned.

Wormy, just give it back before he tears you apart.


MR.SNUFFLES! How I've missed you! You're –

Why is his eye twitching?

Oh, look out people, he's gonna explode…


Erm. If I say no, will he believe me?

Not likely.

Does anyone mind if I pass out?

I think that Flitwick would mind.

He's still staring at Bill.

This is not good.

I need to sit down.

You are sitting down.

Oh? Good for me.


I swear, Tessa, I think I might just kill him.

Who, him?




And why is that, I think he's pretty cute…

Cute?! Are you mad?

You poked a hole in the parchment.

It repairs itself. Whose idea was that?

Mine. To make sure that you can't rip it up and throw it away.

Are you insane?

Not as far as I know…


Not trying to be funny.

He's just so pompous and annoying and –

- Look at the way he's just staring at you –

Shut up – he's not –

- Course he is, just look!

Dear god, he's such a freak.

He looks pretty strange just staring at you like that…

What's the problem here, this thing has been burning my pocket for the last five minutes!

Oh, nothing really, Lily here was just admiring –

- I was not admiring!

- James.

You mean Potter?


To be fair, she's right, he's pretty annoying.


You're wel –

- Oh shut up! You're just saying that because you like Black!

I do not!

Really, she does?

Yep, didn't you hear her raving about him yesterday?

Not really…

You probably were thinking about James –

- HEY!

- Anyway, she was talking about how annoying, how arrogant… - Come to think of it, she was acting just like you!

Oh, bugger off!

Hey! Don't take that tone with me!

I'm not taking a tone, its on paper you moron.

Still I – Sarah?

Hey why isn't she replying?

HA! She's looking at Black!

What? Really?

Oh good god, is she checking him out?

I think I retched a little in my mouth.

I was not "cheking him out" thank you very much!

Oh yeah? What were you doing?

I was – there was something in my eye.

I believe her.

Oh, shut it, you.

No, really. I hate Black.

Youuu're in deniaaaal.

And I hate Potter.

Well, there's a thin line between love and hate, you know.

No, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every twenty feet between love and hate.

Jeez, someone's cranky.

Argh. Someone should shut those people up.

Well, I'm sure staring at Black non-stop will do the trick.

I'm going to tear your throat out.

I'm just trying to help!

Oh, but as long as you're trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.

And as long as you're not trying, you can say whatever you want. So, Lily, between us, we can do anything. WE CAN RULE THE WORLD!

Um, Sarah? Did you forget to give her medication?

Oh, shut up.