Draco's heart thrummed as he thought of the reaction he hoped he'd get out of Hermione

Okay ladies and gentlemen, here it is. The final chapter of Dirty Sexy Galleons. It's been a fun ride (hopefully not quite over, though you'll read more about that in the author's note at the end of the chapter) and I hope you've enjoyed it.

Draco's heart thrummed as he thought of the reaction he hoped he'd get out of Hermione. Certain he wouldn't be able to sleep, he decided to get a bit more of that crisp night air that seemed to still linger with Hermione's scent.

He was rounding around the house towards the back when he heard muffled voices coming from the direction of their large swimming pool.

It was a bit too late for anybody else to be awake so he immediately went on the defense.

An elaborate hedge surrounded the pool and Draco placed himself at a safe distance. He could just make out the figure of two people splashing around in their pool.

Draco wouldn't stand for this. This was his house. This was his domain. And, most likely, they had icky germs.

His brow furrowed in anger as he heard a feminine giggle followed by,

"Oooooh, you're so naughty!"

That was it. It was time to be a man. He hunkered down, ready to sprint, and pulled his wand from his back pocket.

It was on.

He leapt from the bush with a war cry, aiming his wand at the intruders.

"Alright, out of the pool you stupid, kids…" he started with a masculine, aggressive timber. It was quick, though, to turn into a squeamish wail, that sounded as if it belonged to an ambushed peacock.

They were no intruders.

They were his parents.



Narcissa was quick to match Draco's squeal as she ducked behind the broad frame of her husband.

"What are you doing out here? You should be in bed," Lucius reprimanded.

Draco's face had been completely covered by his hands, and it didn't look like they'd be moving any time soon.

"Um what the hell are you doing out here? You should be in CLOTHING!" he retorted.

"Draco, don't be so shocked. You should know that maintaining an adventurous sex life is a key component of any healthy relationship," Narcissa added from behind Lucius's shoulder."

Draco stood aghast.

"I'm going to go on living as though you never said that."

Never had Draco thought he'd want several phoenixes to fly down, scratch his eyes out, and engulf his head in fire. But he did.

"Alright, well, I've never been given a better reason to be unconscious so I'm going to go to sleep," he said, stumbling away with his eyes still in the protection of his hands.

Narcissa and Lucius stood in complete silence for several seconds, their eyes wide at what had just transpired. They slowly turned towards each other and the minute their eyes connected, they broke into conniptions of laughter.

"Did you see the look on his face?" Lucius gasped between tearful laughter.

"Maybe he'll finally move out!" Narcissa added, sending Lucius into an even stronger fit of hysterics.

As the laughter faded, Lucius stopped, a deadly serious look striking his face.

"What?" Narcissa asked with alarm, "What is it?"

After a few seconds of silence, Lucius brought his arms up with a splash and pushed his wife, yelling "You're it!"

He swam off, waves following his wake.

"You wicked!" she squealed with delight.

The chase continued.

Draco could still hear his parents 'little game' as he trudged back to the house. All he could manage was a groan as he attempted to poke out his mind's eye.

"Harry, I've done everything as promised! I've kept away from the wizarding world for an entire week. I haven't tried to find out what this is all about….well successfully, AND I've been letting you lead me to Merlin knows where with this blindfold on. Don't you think I deserve some sort of clue?" Hermione pleaded.

"No, and you haven't been as good as all that. My sources tell me you made a side trip to a certain manor last night."

She turned indignantly, meaning to face Harry, but ending up giving a shrub a rather nasty scowl.

"Were you spying on me?" she ferociously interrogated the plant.

Harry rolled his eyes and turned her to face him.

"Let's just say I have my sources," Harry replied mysteriously.

"Well, fine! Maybe I did, but I just went to Malfoy Manor and it was the ringleader of this whole thing that I met with, so I don't think he'd have a problem."

Harry grabbed her arm once more, leading her to the destination.

"I'm sure with your powers of persuasion he wouldn't."

Hermione stopped, Harry jerking slightly.

"Just what is that supposed to mean?" she huffed, pulling away from him.

"I'm a lady," she said with airs. This would have been effective had she not tripped over a stone in the road, landing in a good amount of dirt.

"Clearly," Harry smirked, picking her up and leading them on.

Hogsmeade soon came into sight and Hermione could hear the occasional roar of a crowd. They were responding to someone, but she couldn't make it out.

"The time has come, people!" Jasper yelled with great passion. His magically amplified voice carried over the excited crowd.

"For too long our society has gone on with a shameful convenience. No more will we stand for this injustice!"

The masses roared with approval. Jasper continued to fire the people up with his speech while Draco's eyes were fixed on the edges of the crowd. She'd be here soon.

Harry and Hermione made their way to the edge of the crowd. The blindfold hid it, but Hermione's eyes strained to make out anything.

Draco spotted Harry and gave him a thumbs up.

"Alright, Hermione," Harry said pulling off the blindfold.

Hermione blinked rapidly, adjusting to the newfound light. She nearly didn't believe what her eyes were now taking in. Hundreds, maybe even a thousand witches and wizards crowed the streets of Hogsmeade. The point of their attention was a stage outfitted with a podium and a large sign that read S.P.E.R.M. with "Society for the Promotion of the Elfish Rights Movement."

She took in a large gasp, her hands following her breath to her mouth. So this is what Draco had been up to.

Up on the stage, Draco motioned for Jasper to give him the floor. Jasper caught a glimpse of Hermione and turned to his brother.

"In the words of my favorite muggle, 'You have found her, now go and get her,'" he said with a brotherly smile.

Draco smiled and gulped, making his way to the podium. He motioned for the crowd to quiet down.

"The cause we're fighting for today is an important one," he started nervously. He could feel all moisture leave his throat as many eyes set upon him.

In that wide sea, he only cared about one pair. And they were looking right at him, giving him strength.

"We have allowed ourselves to carry on a tradition of slavery on the foundation of complacency and lazy excuses. And I'm not saying that in judgment. I've long been a participant and I don't think any one of you people out there is bad. I just think it's time we wake up. And I know we can do that. I've learned that the worst thing you can do is to know what is right," Draco paused, and once again found Hermione's eyes.

"To feel what is right, and ignore it. I don't claim that bit of wisdom as my own, but something taught to me by my best friend. Hermione Granger. It is on her good heart, and good spirit that SPERM is founded!" he cried, a fist in the air.

"My SPERM is for her!" he yelled to the approval of the crowd.

Hermione turned a deep red at that last bit, but swooned never the less.

"So, I want you people to take SPERM and spread it all over the wizarding world! It's time we wake up! It's time we wake up with SPERM!"

Jasper choked back a laugh at Draco's oration. This was one name people wouldn't forget.

"Alright, well. I've talked enough and I'd really like to snog the hell out of my love goddess. She's all the way back there if you could help me out…" Draco yelled, moving to the edge of the stage.

He quickly flung himself into the throngs of SPERM supporters.

"That way!" he yelled, pointing towards his lady love.

Harry quickly got an idea and yelled to his end of the crowd.

"What do you say, you lot? Shall we meet in the middle?" he yelled.

Everyone around him caught on—except Hermione, which was good because it was she who was to be picked up and passed above the crowd.

Before she could disagree, Harry picked her up and set her sailing.

"I'll get you for this, Harry!" she cried, her voice fading as she was passed along by an army of hands.

Harry laughed, and then realized he needed to get to the stage as well.

"Oy! Think you could give me a lift too?"

"YOU MEAN WE'D GET TO TOUCH HARRY POTTER'S ASS?" a sugar blonde witch in the crowd cried.

Harry wanted to take back his request, but he too was soon surfing, his ass getting plenty of extra care.

Right there, in a veritable sea of SPERM, Draco met his Hermione. The crowd set them down, and gave them a bit of space.

"This is….this, I can't even…" she stammered, words failing her.

"Am I really you're best friend?" she finally got out.

"As if I'd do all this for someone who wasn't," he answered softly.

"You're a very good friend."

"How good?" he asked

She wagged her eyebrows in answer.

"KISS HER ALREADY, DAMNIT!" the witch yelled again.

Draco turned to see who the hell had said that, but his head was quickly turned back when Hermione saw fit to take the random witch's advice and kissed him with all the passion she could muster.

The crowd cheered around them as Harry finally made his way to the stage. Jasper extended his hand, gripping Harry's and pulling him up.

"I thought you'd never get here," Jasper said, nearly breathless.

Harry moved in to kiss him, but was stopped.

"Harry. Not here…you don't want people to know, right?" Jasper said under his breath.

Harry looked at him and made a momentous decision.

He turned towards the crowd, magnified his voice, and took the plunge.

"Hey! I would just like everybody to know that I, Harry Potter, am gay! I'm gay and proud….oh and I also am for the freeing of elves, just so you know. But also remember that I am a proud gay wizard and I've got the hot man to prove it!" he cried grabbing Jasper and pulling him into a searing kiss.

"HARRY POTTER IS GAY AND MAKING OUT WITH A GUY? HOT!" cried the overeager witch once more.

The crowd once again cheered, as Draco and Hermione stood slack-jawed.

"Harry's gay?" Draco questioned.

"Jasper's gay?" Hermione echoed.

"Yeah I didn't see that coming," the wizard standing next to them added.

They both slowly turned towards the stranger, now even more confused.

"Umm. Yeah. Private conversation," Draco stated.

"Uhg," he went on, "If they get married I'm going to be legally related to Potter."

"Well unfortunately they can't get married. Not yet anyway," she answered a bit glumly.

In an instant her sadness was gone and replaced with the brightness and glow that can only come from a brilliant idea.

"What a fun project for us to do together!" she cried.

Draco thought of a snarky comment, but held it back. He was learning.

"You've proven yourself to be quite good at getting these sorts of things together, how did you manage?"

"There was a reason I asked you not to be around for a while. You would have seen me promoting my arse off and ruined the surprise," he answered, pulling her into him so her back was against his chest. He lovingly wrapped his arms around his waist and noted how perfectly her head fit right under his chin.

"It probably didn't hurt that you're pretty hot," she joked.

"They couldn't resist my sperm," he shot back, tickling her a bit.

The following months proved to be quite successful as far as Hermione was concerned. For the first time, she was involved in a healthy relationship, her career was thriving, and she was still able to flex her philanthropic muscle.

The elf rights movement was gaining momentum and currently had Hermione penning a speech for an upcoming rally. Her quill flew across the paper, her passion nearly too quick for her fingers.

She looked up from her work and smiled at the newest picture on her desk. Jasper and Majidah cuddled their new baby girl, Persephone. Hermione looked forward to teaching little Persephone how to control her frustration when people would fail to pronounce her name correctly.

Majidah, Jasper, and Persephone were getting along brilliantly—in large part due to the presence of Harry Potter. They were becoming quite the little family and knowing her friend better than anyone else, Hermione could see Harry was in it for the long haul.

The picture next to the portrait of the new family made Hermione smile even more. Jasper was grinning ear to ear as Persephone's little, curious, hand grasped a thrilled Harry's index finger. Fatherhood suited them.

Her focus returned to her speech and in a few more lines she felt she had prepared something close to passable. No doubt it would receive many more revisions.

She packed a few papers in her briefcase to look over later. Most of them were letters expressing interest in the rights to the memoirs Lucius and Narcissa were currently writing. Hermione had to keep reminding them to keep the sweetie pet names to a minimum. Chapter 12 was titled My Snookerpookins' Face. She was trying.

Hermione checked the clock, and nearly giggled when she saw it was nearly five. She pulled out a note, worn from several readings throughout the day.


Tonight—you, me, and a million renovations. Do I know how to do romance, or what?

See you at home,


Draco's note didn't speak of any candlelit dinners, or strolls along the beach. It did however, refer to what had Hermione elated—she and Draco had just bought a house in South Kensington. Though beautiful, it needed a good bit of work. Still, if the prospect of nagging, fighting, and making up in the process of fixing up a house didn't mean love, what did?

Hermione slid the note in her coat pocket and headed out the door with a skip in her step.

She had a wizard to get home to.

Pansy Parkinson sat with a considerably less sunny demeanor in her abode. She wasn't totally alone, though. She had the shoulder of her best friend, Daphne Greengrass-Reddenhurst (she was hyphenating now, as she was currently having a spat with her husband,) to cry on.

"I guess he must love her," Daphne consoled, "Merlin knows why."

For the first time in a long time, Pansy hadn't gotten what she wanted. What's worse the whole situation was getting her to do something she hadn't done in a long time- think. Really think and reflect.

What was EVEN worse was what she was thinking about. Was she mad that she hadn't gotten Draco or was she mad that she didn't have what Draco had? Love.

She shook it off. Made up things like love weren't worth bothering with—especially when there was a house elf informing her she had a visitor.

It was a name she hadn't heard in the longest time, she wasn't even sure she remembered what he looked like.

The little elf led in a tall man, with piercing blue eyes, framed with cropped red hair. Ron Weasley.

Daphne's eyebrows rose in appreciation of the gift time had been for Ronald B. Weasley. Gone was the teenage awkwardness. A true man stood before them now.

Pansy was so shocked to see him she couldn't bring herself to ask why in hell he was here.

Luckily, Ron wasn't rendered speechless.

"Pansy Parkinson?" he half questioned, half stated, "I'm here on official Ministry business. I've been traveling the world over the past few years, working for the Department of Mysteries. It seems, however, that my…" Ron paused to find the right word.

Pansy still wore a dumbstruck look on her face.

Daphne was checking out his ass.

"My project," Ron continued, "has brought me back here. A certain dark object is thought to be in your family's possession. We need it, which means I need you."

And just like that a million more doors were opened.

Author's Note: Yes, this portion of the story is done, but I feel there's so much left to do! Harry and Jasper need to get their rights, Hermione and Draco have a lot of milestones left and Pansy needs a character arch! Also, Ron wasn't in the picture this whole story and now that he's back there are a lot of fun possibilities (don't worry, I'm still DM/HG) So, I guess what I'm saying is, I want to do a sequel! Would that be of interest to people? Would you want to read it? Would you have suggestions for it? Let me know! Also, let me know what you thought of the end and if you liked Draco's surprise for Hermione ( I believe you can go back to the chapter, Something Warmer for the start of it) Did you like our last little Narcissa/Lucius moment? I couldn't end without one more snippet for those two! Anyway, I'm asking a lot of you but I'll be super super appreciative of reviews, suggestions, and all that business. Thanks!!