A/N: So I'm totally working on the next Scene From a Hat, but it's kind of drama-ish, and I was kind of in a more silly mood this evening, so I wrote this. It's kind of OOC, but really it's just meant for fun. It was totally inspired by the "How I know you're gay" scene from 40-Year-Old Virgin. Hope you enjoy…have a good night, all!
Temperance Brennan and Seeley Booth were in a good mood. They had caught a killer, and that always put them in a good mood, which is why they always celebrated by going out for dinner after a solved case at the Royal Diner. It wasn't the diner that was particularly special; it was the levity with which they were able to share that meal that was refreshing. They needed those times, because it provided them with one of the glowing examples that, underneath all the bickering and differences of opinion, they actually liked one another. Very much so.
He was teasing her about some painfully obvious pop culture reference that he made and she didn't understand. Usually she was unfazed by this, but he was making her feel so much like she was living under rock that she was starting to get embarrassed. "Stop it Booth," she murmured, her face getting red. "You know I hate it when you do that."
"Aw, Bones, stop it. You know I only do it because you're good at everything else, so I have to pick on you about something." He smiled his best "forgive me" grin, which was pretty damn effective, if she had to admit it. He took another bite of his sandwich. "Besides, you can't hate me." Looking sure of himself.
Her eyebrows raised. "Oh, really? And why is that?"
His voice was patient, and there was a twinkle in his eye. "You can't hate me because you are in love with me. It's not my fault that you just haven't figured it out yet." He shrugged and sipped at his soda, looking innocent.
She was amused. "I see. Well, that's an interesting theory."
"It's not a theory. It's a fact," he declared. He leaned a little closer to her. "You know how I know you're in love with me?"
"How's that?" A smile tipped up the corner of her lips.
"'Cause you were totally worried about me when I was kidnapped by Gallagher and his crony. And you almost cried."
"Who told you that?" she exclaimed, incredulously.
"I have my sources," he said, pretending to zip up his lips.
"I see. Well, I have an alternative theory. I believe that you are actually in love with me, and that your claiming it to be the opposite is some type of defense mechanism on your part."
"I don't think so. You know how I know you're in love with me?"
"How?" he asked, challenging her.
"Because when I actually had a boyfriend you were always interrupting us, trying to get me away from him."
"That was for case stuff, Bones."
"Uh huh." She had on her best doubtful-face.
"Well…do you know how I know you're in love with me? Because you hugged me in the middle of a wedding."
"Do you know how I know you're in love with me?" She was grinning, now, enjoying this game. "Because when we were in Vegas, you slapped me right on the ass. And told me I was hot."
He was barely listening now, thinking up more examples of his own. "You know how I know? Because when we were out in the field that one time, you told me I appear to be a 'good breeder.' And you were looking at me like a piece of meat."
Laughter burst from her lips. "I don't even want kids, Booth."
"Whatever." He raised his eyebrow and leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed.
"You know how I know?" she jumped right in. "Because the whole time we were looking for Zack's replacement, you were crying around. 'Where's Bones? Is she mad at me? I don't think Bones likes me anymore.'" Her voice took on a nasally, whining voice while she imitated him, and he had to chuckle at this.
"You know how I know? Because you cooked for me. And you never cook for anyone, don't you even deny it. You just did it for me because you are so in love with me."
She was laughing in earnest now. "You know how I know? Because of the big sign over your head flashing the words 'I Love Temperance Brennan' over and over again."
He was joining her in the uncontrollable laughter department, and had to choke out his words between chuckles. "Damn, I thought I turned off that sign."
"Nope. You didn't." She grinned.
"You know how I know?" he countered. "Because you are totally wanting to make out with me right now and it's completely obvious."
Her smile went away and her face became completely serious. "Well, yes." His eyes widened, and he stopped laughing as well. "But what does that have to do with love?" Her straight face lasted for a split second longer before she burst into giggles again. He lost it too, and they both buried their faces into their arms trying to hold back this fit. The other diners were starting to look at them curiously, and they struggled to get control of themselves. "Okay, okay," she gasped. "Let's just agree that neither of us is in love with the other. Or else we are going to embarrass ourselves more here."
"Fine, fine," he agreed. They took several deep breaths. In, out. Calm. Finally, they were able to look at each other with a straight face.
It was Booth who ventured to speak again first. "Hey Bones?"
"Yeah?" She gave him a warning look.
His was somber. Reached across the table and took her hand. "I love you."
She stared at him for a second. "Booth?"
And neither of them could stop themselves from laughing again, so they gave up and left, him escorting her out with his hand at her back. Everyone around them watched them go, confused, which was okay because they didn't always entirely understand the nature of their relationship, themselves. But, it was exactly the way it was supposed to be right now.
Somehow, they just knew that.