Title: Baby Got Back

Author: GiGi892

Summary: Funny SONG FIC! One drunken night for Huddy at a karaoke bar…Baby Got Back! Lol

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own House Md. Characters or Sir Mix A lot...although I so wish I did!!! Nor do I own anything else in this fic! One day, I will get my hands on that copyright and Huddy love will rule all the lands- Ha! Yeah right! It would be a nice dream though!

A/N: This is a one shot. Not a lot of dialogue, but read it anyways if you like the song. Uh okay so I was cleaning my room one day and had some tunes blasting from the ipod and this song came on. Of course couldn't help but dance! I was listening to lyrics and pictured A Bit Of Fry And Laurie plus Huddy love (the ultimate pair!) and that equals…tada! The lyrics are hilarious! It also made me think of House's gibe at the super tanker a.k.a. Cuddy's butt. So uh enjoy! And incase ya hadn't already noticed this is a Huddy fic, narrated by yours truly! Oh yeah and insert nything you want for the name of the bar! kay..good! Now go read!

Friday. The day at the end of most employees' workweek. House's day that puzzles were solved and cases were diagnosed. Cuddy's day to finalize donations and make board-meeting decisions. It was time to leave the hospital and go home, but they could both use a drink.

House limped out of Exam Room 2."Dr. House- checking out at 10:47 pm." Brenda scribbled it down in her notebook behind her desk right outside the clinic.

'Four hours of clinic today. Maybe Cuddy will finally stop nagging on my ass.' It was late but not late enough to return to the confines of his apartment. He strode his way to his motorcycle, fastening his cane, helmet and jacket into place and sped off to the nearest bar.

At 10:50 pm, Cuddy's departure from the hospital was similar. She flicked off her office lights, the click of her stiletto heels echo throughout the lonely hallways as she strutted to her silver Mercedes in the parking garage. As she stepped off the elevator, Cuddy could still hear the familiar roar of an orange motorcycle peel out of the hospital's exit. She tossed her bags in the passenger seat and gunned the engine. She, too, made her way to the nearest bar only minutes after House.

Greg entered the watering hole and took a seat at an unoccupied bar stool closest to the entrance. He ordered a whiskey sour from the gawky bartender and began to silently brood. The place was a small bar appropriately decorated with neon signs, housing about fifteen tables that surrounded a stage equipped with microphones and a nineteen-inch television. Two brunette college girls were on stage decently singing along to a rendition of Cyndi Lauper's 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun', as a crowd of twenty cheered. It was a bit noisy for his taste and he could drown out the background tempo but it would fill the need of alcohol for tonight. For ten minutes House sat submerged in thought downing a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Cuddy entered the bar but didn't really notice Greg sitting at the bar accompanied by his poison of choice. Typically, Lisa Cuddy is a Martini type of gal, but tonight only a stiff drink would do- a whiskey for the lady as well. She sat a couple seat down the bar for about ten minutes with her glass of whiskey. The karaoke continued on as coworkers sat in oblivion, until it came down to the last bottle of liquor.

" Hey, what's your name? Chuck? ...Hey Chucky! Chuckster! How bout another glass!" Cuddy managed a slur to the humored bar attendant.

"Um, ma'am…" Charlie the bartender started to explain but was interrupted by an intoxicated diagnostician.

"Hey, another bottle!"

" Well, you two will have to share…it's our last bottle till our next shipment tomorrow."

House turned to the other drinker. "I don't share with any…Cuddy?"

Cuddy started to protest. "Hey I deserve that bottle just as much as the nex…House?? When did you get here?"

"Uh, hey I've been here…" he turned to Charlie, "…how long have I been here?"

" Well, let's see- oh about" Charlie glanced toward his right arm at his watch," an hour, hour and a half."

Cuddy burst into laughter. "That's about how long I've been here!" Then the coworkers both doubled over at the hilarity of the situation. " Ha, ha…ah, Chuck bring that bottle over here!" Laughter continued. They both did have nice laughs.

"It's Charlie. Yeah be right back." He left them giggling and returned with the requested liquor.

House and Cuddy continued on conversation about the hospital, different medical diagnoses, and dumb politics, making fun of the numerous karaoke songs and their ridiculous generations- the 80's big hair and leg warmers. House added his witty sarcasm and ogling remarks at her body. Cuddy flirted back and chimed in her fair share of humor occasionally swaying to the songs playing over the speakers. As conversation flowed comfortably, old feelings of their university days were rekindled.

They were talking about college pranks when karaoke requests were being taken, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe you guys did that! Did he ever find out you did it?"

" Who do you think you're talking to? Of course not! He didn't even think to question me? He probably wouldn't have found out his Camero was on the school roof unless I mentioned it," he said.

"Wow. Oh! House Let's do song! " she didn't need to beg.

"Alright! Let's do it!" And they abandoned their drinks and stumbled to the stage.

"Whatcha wanna sing? Rock? Hip Hop? A Duet?" he asked her as they flipped through the songbook.

"Umm? Bon Jovi?" House questioned Cuddy.

"Nah!" The two said in unison

" Hey how about like Madonna! I used to idolize that woman! She's still pretty cool now too!"

" No way! I'm not singing some chick shit song," House still viewed the song selection until he came to the perfect beat," I got it!" he went and told the DJ.

"What are we singing?"

"Baby Got Back!"

"Ha! I love it! Cheesy, but ya can't help but dance!"

"I thought you'd approve. It kinda suits you!" he said.

"There's you thinking of my ass again."

"Well someone has to think about it!" she laughed at his comment as the song began and Cuddy started the introduction with perfect Valley Girl accent.


Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. scoff She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.

But, y'know, who understands those rap guys? scoff
They only talk to her, because, she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?

I mean, her butt, is just so big. scoff
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there,

I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... black!

As the beat of the song started, Cuddy unbuttoned and tossed her black jacket to the side of the stage, to reveal a tightly fitted red v-neck and started to move her hips and clap a little as the crowd began to get into the song. House watched and nearly drooled, breathing just in time to start his verses.


I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face

You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture

My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me

House was dancing along to the song as well, but couldn't peel his eyes away from his boss' body. No man in the audience could. She swiveled her curvy frame down towards the floor then back up singing with every once of sex appeal that was now oozing from her moves. Plus he was having fun. Something so foreign to him, he was enjoying.


Feel so Horny

She would admit to her self she was definitely flaunting all she had to offer and the attention, well, she rather liked it! She also liked the sexed up man that was moving besides her, turning her on immensely. Honestly, she had always liked Greg, and tonight they just clicked. It convinced her even more that she was falling for Gregory House. Lisa Cuddy was having fun with Gregory House.


Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie

I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back

So, fellas!?

Male Crowd: Yeah!

House: Fellas!?

Male Crowd: Yeah!


Has your girlfriend got the butt?

Male Crowd: Hell Yeah!


Tell 'em to shake it!


Shake it!


Shake it!


Shake it!


Shake that healthy butt

Baby got back!

LA face with an Oakland bootie.

The crowd was dancing and cheering for the brave (and white! Lol) folks on stage!


I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And ugh, double up, ugh, ugh

I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys

I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo

A word to the thick soul sistas,

I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna

Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on

A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play

'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So, ladies!








If you wanna role in my Mercedes




Then turn around!

Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Cuddy and House dance like sex machines and the crowd goes wild!


Baby got back!


Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36?


Ha ha, only if she's 5'3


So your girlfriend rolls a Honda,

playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda

My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun

You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it

So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'

To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her

Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em

So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!


Baby Got Back!

Cuddy playfully turns around and jiggles her butt a little in the crowd that earns her a smirked smile from House and as she turns back around he whispers in her ear.

"Cuddy, you minx, you. I knew you had it in ya!"

"What can I say, I've an ass. Why not flaunt it," he smiled at her comment, "You don't look so bad yourself!" she replied. House actually hid his face to blush a little.

House and Cuddy:

Little in the middle but you got much back!

Little in the middle but you got much back!

Little in the middle but you got much back!

Little in the middle but you got much back!

The audience applauded and whistled. House and Cuddy laughed there way off the stage back to the bar to order new drinks. They talked and of course drank some more, and eventually went on to do a couple more songs. By 1am they decided to call a cab, which the two shared.

The ride home was just filled with very random and awkward staring at each other- blue meeting blue from separate sides of the cab. What better way to break the ice than to laugh at the situation some more? The driver pulled up to Cuddy's house first.

"Well, I'll see you on Monday. Thanks for tonight- I had fun. I really needed it." She grabbed her purse.

"Yeah, me too."

She decided, now or never. Cuddy began to open her door, but turned towards Greg. "Hey, um, Greg, do you want o come in for coffee?"

He was surprised. She called him Greg. He almost couldn't reply. "Sh-sure." They both stepped out, House paying the cab driver, then limped up the path to follow. They stopped at her wide doorway. Cuddy fumbled to get her keys loose from her purse to open the door. She turned toward him.

"Sorry, ab…" she didn't have time to finish. His lips crashed on to hers. He kissed her with force and passion. In an instant she responded more intensely. This he took as invitation to deepen the lip lock and part her lips with his tongue. And she welcomed the move. The two continued on the porch for a few more minutes until they gasped for oxygen. He pulled away first.

"Sorry Lise, I shouldn't have…"

"Don't be. I kissed you back." Cuddy leaned in for another searing kiss, but House pulled back.

"Lisa, I don't wanna do this now. Not when we've both had a lot to drink. You'll just end up regretting it in the morning."

She had one hand on his chest and the other was playing with his blue shirt collar, "Greg, I'm not drunk. I'm tipsy, but I know what I'm doing. You're hot, and…I like you. I want this Greg. Do you?" she was looking him straight in the eyes.

He smiled the biggest grin she'd ever seen from him. House wrapped he built arms around Cuddy's waist and pulled her closer." That's probably one of the sexiest things you've ever said to me."

She happily smiled back emanating a radiant glow. They pulled in for another kiss that eventually lead to a trail of clothing strewn about Cuddy's modest home and ended at her bed.


The next morning House woke on his back in a strange surrounding, and then he remembered the past night's events. He still smiled widely. He wasn't in a whole lot of pain-House ached in all the right places. Just then Cuddy walked in holding two cups of coffee and a bottle of white pills wearing nothing but his big blue t-shirt. She had never looked better to him. Cuddy set a coffee in front of him, tossing the pills in his lap, and climbed in her big warm bed.

"Thank you." He said.

"No problem." They had another smiling staring contest again.

She finally broke it, "What?"

He smirked down leaning in, "No regrets?"


They kissed fiercely. He moved arms and hands around her waist then down to her ass. House smiled against the kiss and whispered, "Baby got back!"

She chuckled at her man.


Xoxo GiGi892

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