Hell Hath No Fury
Every time. Every single damned time. Whenever some beautiful, occasionally shy young woman came onto him, it was always the same. He'd be dragged off to make out in a corner, get bopped over the head with some blunt instrument or another, and wake up chained to a slab of cold concrete, shirtless with a massive lump on the side of his skull and the woman looming over him.
This one was currently blue. She also appeared to be doing an admirable job of trying to crack his cranium open using only her bare fingers – it really hurt – and her tongue appeared to be twice the length he was sure it had started out as.
Face scrunched up in pain, he noticed the door at the head of that measly flight of stairs open, and sighed in relief, closing his eyes again. The Buffster would never leave him to die.
…Cordelia wouldn't either, apparently. With an unintelligible shriek she flew at the woman, Willow casting a quick spell before the girl could actually attack and finishing the demon off. Xander gave another quick sigh of relief.
"You incubus!" The inflamed dark-haired beauty screamed all of a sudden, slapping him hard across the face. Behind her, he heard Willow give a murmur about Cordelia's impressively expanding vocabulary.
He winced. This never went the way he wanted it to.
Eh. Um. Pity. This was one of my first and main fandoms, yet my fourteenth fandom to write in. Oh well – done it now. Any good? For... Jesums, for being the person to get me into the wonderful world of the Buffmeister.