Why Vexen Is Dangerous When Bored

Chapter 2

By KnightMysterio

===Memory Skyscraper…===

Four large playing cards floated through the forever-shrouded city, drifting peacefully on the breeze as it turned the corner into a large plaza, shadowed by a tall tower bearing several TV monitors arrayed at the top. The cards flipped, discharging their contents, four clocked figures with mischief in mind.

Luxord landed smoothly, and held out his hand, the cards shrinking back to normal size and vanishing when they touched his palm.

Demyx shivered. "I'm never going to get used to that. Couldn't we have portaled down?"

Vexen pulled the vial out of his pocket and checked it. "Portals would have been noticed. We need Marluxia and Saix not to notice us until it's far too late," he said, "And going in the form of Luxord's cards was the safest method I could think of."

"It's still unnerving," Demyx said, shivering, "I don't like not having full tactile awareness of where I am..."

Vexen stared at him curiously. "Really now… Even without a heart, becoming two-dimensional produced that sort of reaction in you?"

Demyx glared at him. "Why else do you think I hate going on missions to the Underworld? I always feel more dead inside than I already do when I go there…"

Luxord smirked at him. "And here I thought you hated it because Cerberus seems to have decided that you're his favorite chew toy."

Naminé giggled. Demyx grumbled. "That's another reason…" he muttered.

Vexen rolled his eyes. "At any rate, that's not why we're here."

Demyx frowned. "Why are we here again?"

Vexen glared at him. "We are here, you miserable trickle-brained twit, to force-feed Saix a potion because I want to see what will happen when he drinks it."

Demyx winced. "Ah… Y'know, this doesn't seem like such a good idea anymore…"

Luxord shuffled his cards, idly looking around. "Where are Marly and the moon-loony anyway?"


A loud explosion drew the attention of the four. Saix and Marluxia both flew over a building, landing in front of the Memory Skyscraper, charred and smoldering. Their weapons landed near them, clattering down and vanishing, Saix's in a flash of pale light and Marluxia's in a swirl of cherry blossom petals.

Luxord frowned. "What happened to them?"

Vexen frowned, at looked up at the Memory Skyscraper, which obligingly came to life at his unspoken command and showed what happened.

Pete had apparently been caught trying to sneak into the city. Saix and Marluxia had driven the oafish feline out, but he had left behind a trio of Ground Shakers, the largest of which had been rigged to explode, which it did when Marluxia struck the fatal blow, finishing off the ten hit death curse he had placed on it.

"Huh…" Luxord said, "I didn't know the tower could do that…"

"Any of us can command it, not just the original six of us. Speaking of…" Vexen said, turning to Naminé and Demyx, the two having gone over to check on the Luna Diviner and Graceful Assassin, "How are they?"

"They'll live," Demyx said, "They just got knocked out by the blast."

"Revive them, please," Vexen said.

Naminé closed her eyes, concentrating. Two of her minion Nobodies, white-robed body-less ghosts clutching staves and wearing floating masks bearing the Organization insignia, appeared.

"My White Mages," she said, "would you please heal numbers VII and XI for me?"

As you wish, Mistress Kixira, the Nobodies said, pointing their staves at the two unconscious Nobodies. The crystals on the ends of them began to glow, shining a white light over the two of them.

Demyx looked at her curiously. "Kixira?"

Naminé blushed. "It was the name the Superior gave me, and the only one the White Mages will acknowledge. Marluxia is the one who started calling me Naminé, after a princess in a fairy tale from his old life."

Demyx nodded. "That's right, I keep forgetting that you're essentially Kairi's Nobody… You and Roxas are so different from the rest of us…"

Naminé blushed.

"At any rate," Vexen said, a smirk on his face, "We must get ready. Saix is about to awaken."

The White Mage Nobodies finished healing the two of them, Vexen reaching into his pocket… Marluxia and Saix both groaned softly, slowly pulling themselves to their feet.

"What happened…?" Marluxia muttered, clutching his head in sudden pain.

Saix growled. "Wretched oaf… Caught us by surprise, rigging that last Ground Shaker… When next we meet, I will remove his heart with my teeth and THROW it up to our Kingdom Hearts…"

Marluxia nodded. "A fine sentiment…" he said. He blinked, noticing the others for the first time. "What are you lot doing here?" he asked, confused.

Before anyone could react or even realize what was happening, Vexen pulled a strange, scorpion-like creature out of his pocket and threw it at Saix. It landed on his chest and began stinging the cerulean-haired nobody repeatedly. Saix snarled viciously, and ripped the creature off of his chest, stomping on it hard enough to kill it, blue flames engulfing and disintegrating the creature in a heartbeat.

"Oh sweet darkness, no," Vexen said, his voice quivering in fear as he ran up to the startled Saix, "Saix, how many times did that creature sting you?"

Saix blinked, confused. He hadn't yet realized yet that Vexen was the one who had thrown the creature, although from the disbelieving look on Marluxia's face, the pink-haired Nobody had seen clearly. "I… I don't know…" Saix said, alarm growing in his voice.

Vexen pulled the vial out of his pocket, and held it out to Saix. "Quickly, drink all of this antidote! It's the only way to prevent yourself from dying in horrible agony from the poison that creature had!"

Marluxia blinked, looking from Saix, who had snatched the vial out of Vexen's hand at the mention of the word 'antidote' and was already chugging it, to Naminé, Luxord, and Demyx, who were all starting to snicker as they watched the scene unfold. Then he realized…

He wouldn't…Marluxia thought. Then he remembered just who he was dealing with…

Saix gagged as he finished drinking the potion. "What… What is in this?!" he snarled.

Vexen just smirked, leaning forward so his face was right in Saix's own. "I'm not sure."

Saix coughed, and stared at Vexen, a numb feeling going through him as he started to realize what had just happened.

"Vexen you…" Saix said, his hair starting to stand on end as his eyes began to glow, "…you… you MISERABLE… you… rrrr…"

"Time to go," Vexen said, literally running for his life as he grabbed Naminé and Demyx, a worried Luxord, Marluxia, and Demyx following behind.

"RRRRRRRRRAGGHHH!!!" Saix screamed, summoning a claymore to his hand. Blue flames quite literally exploded from Saix as he charged towards them, slamming the claymore down over and over, creating wave after wave of blue flames. The other Nobodies just barely got out in time, Vexen gesturing and summoning a forcefield to close off the area around the skyscraper. Saix slammed into the forcefield and bounced right off, roaring and continuing to rampage around the field.

Luxord glared at him. "Brilliant move, genius," he said, "Now how are we gonna find out what the potion did to him?"

Vexen hmmed thoughtfully as he watched Saix rampage about, the berserker dropping his sword and forgetting to summon another one. His screams of rage sounded almost animalistic as he grew madder and madder, slashing the air with claw-like hands.

"We need someone to go in their and try to talk to him…" Vexen said after a moment, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

Demyx sighed. "Yeah, but who'd be dumb enough to go in there?" the mulleted musician asked.

A devilish grin came to Marluxia's face. As the others watched Saix rampage about, he discreetly positioned himself behind Demyx. Then, before anyone could react, he dissolved part of the forcefield and booted Demyx in the rear, knocking him into the field.

Demyx landed roughly on his face. But before he could get up again, Marluxia closed the forcefield.

"Just remember this! If you die, it was for a good cause!" the pink-haired Nobody called out to him, grinning viciously.

Demyx pounded desperately on the forcefield. He wailed desperately, trying to get away, Marluxia and Luxord smirking at him as Naminé looked on in alarm. She pointed behind Demyx, a frightened look on her face.

Demyx whirled, and moaned, backing up against the forcefield as he saw Saix stalking towards him. The berserker Nobody's hands were held in claws, his eyes glowing yellow, his mouth held in a drooling snarl.

"N-Nice S-Saix…" Demyx said, stammering badly in his fear, "G-Good S-Saix… P-Please d-don't k-k-kill m-mee…."

Saix gained a confused look on his face, not dropping his bestial manner as he continued walking towards Demyx. Saix tried to force himself to calm down, to come out of his berserker state, but the more he tried, the harder it seemed for him to think.

Demyx gulped nervously, seeing the confusion on Saix's face and taking it as a good sign. "It's okay… S-See? I'm not the one wh-who g-gave you the bad stuff… I-I'm y-your friend!"

Saix grrred softly, his eyes widening slightly as he looked up at Demyx, his hands held in an almost paw-like position. "Frrrriend?" Saix growled curiously. His butt began to wave back and forth as he walked up to Demyx.

The water elemental blinked, and nodded, confused beyond belief but starting to feel that he was safe. "That's right…" he said, reaching out hesitantly with one hand, "I'm you're buddy… You can trust me…"

Saix cocked his head to one side curiously, walking up to Demyx in a slightly hunched over position, his butt waving back and forth hesitantly. Demyx gulped nervously, and placed his hand on Saix's head. When a dopey grin appeared on Saix's face, Demyx patted Saix's head gently. Saix's butt began waving back and forth rapidly as he grinned at Demyx with wide, innocent eyes, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he began panting.

Luxord was the first to realize what was going on. "Omigod… His butt… It's wagging!!!" he said, laughing wildly. A moment later, Marluxia, who had been staring dumbfounded at Saix's sudden transformation, began laughing as well, although he seemed a bit disappointed that Demyx wasn't going to get mauled.

Demyx blinked, looking briefly at the two laughing Nobodies and then back at Saix. The wide-eyed, dopey grin, the wagging 'tail,' the innocent trust and affection coming from just a pat on the head… Suddenly, it all clicked inside the musician's mind.

"You're just a puppy, aren't you?" he said, grinning widely. Saix barked happily, his butt wagging back and forth rapidly. Demyx shook his head, amazed, and patted Saix on the head again, reaching down to scratched behind Saix's pointed, elfin ears, eliciting a pleased wurfing from Saix. He leaned up and licked Demyx happily, barking just like a puppy would. Demyx grinned happily.

"You're a good boy!" he said, "You're a nice doggy, not a big meanie like Cerberus, aren't you?"

Saix barked happily, as if to say he was, indeed, a good boy. Naminé squealed in delight.

"PUPPY!" she cried, waving her arms happily, "So cute! I wanna pet the puppy!"

Vexen, who had been taking notes as he watched Saix's transformation, dissolved the forcefield, smirking to himself as he wrote. Naminé ran in and petted Saix, who just barked happily at her and licked her face in a friendly, puppyish manner as she petted him, scratching behind his ears and on his neck, getting Saix to lie down on the ground. Both Naminé and Demyx then began rubbing his belly, causing Saix's leg to kick in pleasure.

Marluxia, still snickering, turned to Vexen and said, "You realize, of course, that after the Superior hears about this, he's going to learn how to raise the dead just so he can keep killing you."

Vexen just snorted derisively. "Like I care. As far as I'm concerned, this was just another successful experiment."

Marluxia shook his head. "Suit yourself, old man," the pink-haired Nobody said, "I'm going to take cover until after Xemnas is done with you."

As Marluxia helped the still laughing Luxord up and into a portal with him, Vexen just smirked. "There is nothing I will not do for SCIENCE!" he said, raising his fist triumphantly. He blinked, not hearing the expected response from Naminé, and then shrugged. She, Saix, and Demyx had started up a game of fetch, using a disk made of solidified water from Demyx.

He would have been content to observe the behavior of the 'Saix-puppy' as he gamboled about, but by his calculations, it would be best if they returned. He called out to the others, Demyx and Naminé reluctantly breaking off their game and following Vexen through the portal he made back to the castle.

As Vexen stepped out, he encountered a surprising site.

"Hey freezeface," said a familiar snarly voice. Vexen blinked as Larxene, looking thoroughly annoyed and confused, came around the corner, rubbing her temple as if pained. "Damn good thing I found you. What was in that cocktail you made me drink? I've been feeling fuzzy headed all day…"

Vexen was about to say something, when Demyx, Naminé, and Saix came through the portal. Larxene took one look at Saix, who was walking on all fours almost, his butt wagging back and forth, still with a dopey grin on his face, and snickered.

"Geez. Always knew Saix was a dog-boy at heart," she said. Saix wurfed at her curiously and ambled forward, sniffing at her. Larxene blinked, stepping back a little, suddenly feeling wary.

"Hey hey… Back off puppy…" she said, unconsciously moving her hands into a paw-like position. Saix blinked, and then started forward again. He tried to go around her to sniff at her butt, but Larxene just hopped forward, hissing at him and batting at Saix's nose with one hand. Saix blinked, not hurt by the gesture, and just stared at her curiously, his tongue hanging from his mouth as he panted, his butt wagging back and forth.

Larxene looked at her hands in confusion. "Why did I… What's wrong with me?" she said, turning to Vexen, "What…"

Just then, a booming voice came down the hall. "Lar-lar?" Lexaeus said, "Where's my favorite kitty?"

Almost immediately after she heard Lexaeus, Larxene dropped any and all human mannerisms, her eyes going wide and innocent as she got down on all fours, running in the direction of the voice, mewing happily all the while.

Naminé giggled despite herself. "So cute! Now we have a Saix-puppy and a Lar-kitty!"

Demyx frowned. Saix, sensing his concern, came up to Demyx and nuzzled his leg, Demyx unconsciously reaching down to pat Saix's head. "Will she be okay?" Demyx asked.

Vexen stroked his chin, smirking, "Interesting… Yes, I believe she will, actually. It seems that, with time and if left alone, she will revert to human mannerisms. However, because Lexaeus is the first person she met after being 'kittyfied,' just hearing his voice will automatically cause her to revert to her 'kitten' state. I'm assuming Saix will have a similar reaction in your prescence, reverting to his puppy state whenever he encounters you."

Demyx frowned. "Yeah, but will it wear off? She seemed not to know what happened while she was a kitty, and if I'm guessing right, Saix won't remember anything past the time he went berserk and started going puppy."

Vexen looked at him with amusement, "A simple way of putting it, but yes, it logically follows that a similar set of signs and circumstances would occur. As for it wearing off, I highly doubt it ever will"

Demyx groaned softly. Although strangely, he was also a little relieved, the idea of having Saix as his puppy somewhat appealing to him… Naminé giggled, patting Saix once more. "Would you relax? Vexen knows what he's doing," she said.

"Indeed. For SCIENCE!" Vexen said, raising his hand triumphantly.

"For SCIENCE!" Naminé said, mirroring the motion and giggling as she skipped off down the hall.

Vexen smirked. "I like that. I think I'm going to recruit her as a minion more often."

Demyx rolled his eyes. "You've corrupted that poor girl," he said, chuckling, "And hey, whatever floats your boat, Number IV. Just make sure the Superior doesn't sink your ship when he finds out."

"Tish tosh," Vexen said, waving Demyx off dismissively as he pulled out his notebook again, "I can handle the Superior's wrath if need be. Go play with your puppy."

Demyx shook his head, chuckling. "Whatever," he said, "At least you're not bored now."

"For the moment," Vexen said, nodding as he jotted down notes.

Demyx sighed, and then grinned at Saix, patting his legs to beckon him forward, "C'mon boy. Let's go get you some treats."

Saix arfed happily at the mention of the word treats, following him down the corridor to the kitchen.

===Altar of Naught…===

Xemnas shivered softly, waking up from his mediation and looking around. "That chill down my spine… It's a bad omen… Why do I have the feeling Vexen has once again done something that will make me want to hurt him severely?" Xemnas said, sighing.